They dance
Center stage
Under glimmering lights
Glittering bright
Hand in hand
Hearts intertwined

While.

In the
Sidelines
I remain
Watching
Sulking

And.

That's alright.

Love's not for everyone,
Right?

It arrives,
Unnoticed, unannounced.

Quiet,
At first.

Slow,
Seeping, dripping.

I put it down to a few stressful weeks.
I carry on.

It unpacks,
Worries, anxieties.

Gently,
For now,

Tiptoes,
Whispers, creaks.

‘It will leave soon’ I think ‘It always does.’
I keep going.

It settles in,
Getting comfortable.

Getting louder,
And louder.

Banging thoughts,
Insomnia.

‘Please don’t be happening again’.
I shuffle along my daily routine.

Claws in,
Insidious.

Screaming,
24/7.

Shame, worthlessness,
Hurt.

‘Please go away’.
I’m barely coping.

Growing roots,
Into my brain and heart.

Blossoming pain,
With every beat.

Emptiness, loneliness,
Abandonment.

Silence, Stillness,
‘I can’t move, I can’t cope.’

As the crowd gathers
for their final goodbyes
Wondering what they could have changed
Wondering what they should have done differently
thinking to themselves
Why did he think there was no one to turn to?
Why did he think he had no one?
Why did he think he had to go through it all alone?
but
Ask yourself where were you?
Where were you on those lonely nights?
How I cried at night waiting for someone to ask me if I'm okay,
To ask me if I needed to talk,
Just a shoulder to cry on.
Lay me to bed with a promise that you will never let go
But you never came, did you...
You never asked those questions
And left me to deal with it

So as the rain starts to drop
And the sky turns grey
Shed a single tear in my Honour,
And no more!
because you only deserve the one,
So close the casket, put me in the ground
let me sink into the blackness
Crying into eternity
For forevermore

this isn't a poem about dreams
who remained asleep.
this isn't the cries of two souls
buried with their love.

this isn't a story of the brave
who never faced fear.
this isn't the unsent letter
behind the last drawer.
this is a poem about the
what could've been's
if we just risked.

yet no one dared to write.