How dull the wretch, whose philosophic mind
Disdains the pleasures of fantastic kind;
Whose prosy thoughts the joys of life exclude,
And wreck the solace of the poet's mood!
Young Zeno, practis'd in the Stoic's art,
Rejects the language of the glowing heart;
Dissolves sweet Nature to a mess of laws;
Condemns th' effect whilst looking for the cause;
Freezes poor Ovid in an iced review,
And sneers because his fables are untrue!
In search of hope the hopeful zealot goes,
But all the sadder tums, the more he knows!
Stay! Vandal sophist, whose deep lore would blast
The grateful legends of the storied past;
Whose tongue in censure flays th' embellish'd page,
And scorns the comforts of a dreary age:
Wouldst strip the foliage from the vital bough
Till all men grow as wisely dull as thou?
Happy the man whose fresh, untainted eye
Discerns a Pantheon in the spangled sky;
Finds sylphs and dryads in the waving trees,
And spies soft Notus in the southern breeze
For whom the stream a cheering carol sings,
While reedy music by the fountain rings;
To whom the waves a Nereid tale confide
Till friendly presence fills the rising tide.
Happy is he, who void of learning's woes,
Th' ethereal life of bodied Nature knows;
I scorn the sage that tells me it but seems,
And flout his gravity in sunlight dreams!

Five. A simple number. Not so simple getting here. But it seems like my whole life was lived up until we began - so that we could begin - and make it this far- and even farther...i just don't know how far...and more than anything i wish i knew.. i wishwe'd get to see each other more than every two or three weeks... we've been talking all the time - mostly about nothing at all. And i miss you like crazy baby... I feel far from you...and it worries me...I hate feeling far from you...when you're the one I'm closest to. It isn't a pretty place, and I don't know what to do, but I've had this line of a song stuck in my head for like a day or two..."If you don't like how this place is, then take yourself to higher places". That's what we'll do. We've been in high places together. And we've been low. We've been places we shouldn't go. But I'm where I want to be whenever I'm with you...and today is special so I want you to know...while feelings go up and down and we do too, my love for you will always be atleast this big.
                                                                                          
                                                                                                                              Codybear, your very own STR
                                                                                                                                                 (<3)

245

I held a Jewel in my fingers—
And went to sleep—
The day was warm, and winds were prosy—
I said “’Twill keep”—

I woke—and chid my honest fingers,
The Gem was gone—
And now, an Amethyst remembrance
Is all I own—

Poem of prosy
I am so sorry
to relay this story
of ending glory
knowing
your suspenseful stories
await my attentions.
Your suspenseful showy
purposefulness I feel,
I do!
I read and write and breathe
and cry!
Just as you.
I slay dragons daily,
carry princesses away,
I live in castles
like you!
I walk every word wearily,
or crawl away , but always go forward.

I went to SLEEP with a Diadem -
Upon my hand;
The Valley of Serenity held Prosy,
During that wedding grand.

I awoke from Sleep -
When the Gem was Gone from my hand;
And now I weep,
With Sorrow at my command.

Breathing unconscious the air permeating
an oxygen right into lungs finely formed fed
waters so carelessly drunk quenching thirsts,
revitalizing with hydrogens exact innards all.

blood red coursing true from vital forces aplenty
Terra firm formed so right for me to walk straight
finely tilted earth enough for my days and nights
turning over for summers and my springs bright.

Now fine bodies and limbs,a heart pulsing sound,
minds capable bestowed by a time eternity bound
given lovely comrades, mothers, sisters, lovers and
brothers, friends, angels all for me destined especial.

the universe cosmic pandering to me, kind totally,
creating never a God,a cast,creed or a religion sole
but all and everything to survive as a man whole.
why then did I fragment,divide and multiply false?

and How! the mind shut first and then did heart too
geniuses both, discriminating unholy, inventing evils
dividing colors,crazed gods,cruel prophets,races divine
religions irrational unmeant for me but claiming us all
in a class uncaring obscene,a kid now just dead hungry!
what purpose is then of us,the grand senates and fiscals,
our temples,mosques and churches shining,vaults monied.

claiming then minds,hearts,honor, integrity and the self
stating grandly, survive you shall as you are the meek!
and so shall you be starved.*****,killed,burnt! Hell I am,
meek no longer! survive I shall as a king, a queen free!

I reclaim all now,taken from me in false names dastardly
show just my finger mid,for where I was led unwilling
the whole creed sole human,the religion only just humanity.
my will is what i make of my consciousness eternal revealed,
slowly peeling off layers and burdens yolked,reemerging now.
to freedoms anew today, and soon to that day of Armageddon.

*I just wanted to count and write a small poem on the numerous natural blessings of Universe and time,but then realized all these are taken for granted and turned to horrible human made curses...now this is neither a prosy poem nor poetic prose. a state of mind?..so here I am..with what ever it is..

Non-poetic Prosy Informational?Post Nimber....uh I LostTrack About 10,000 Posts Ago:

Sweetheart... My love for you first came at a time when I had absolutely no idea about...anything. Thank you for your unbelievable patience. The love,  it has not left me, once. My wish is that we can learn to reciprocate and communicate with laughter and the best of what we had, offline.
Sometimes it's sheer torture so I know that's it's love, for me at least. Don't know why it happened but it's true. You are in my heart and soul and it's the strangest thing ever but I'm still hooked. This is finish catching ,or release time now. I think we know that.

Folks, this love and admiration is for the man who somehow captured my heart while deliberately trying to not capture my heart.
I'm sorry about that. You refused over and over again and I didn't mean to push, just explain but you would not listen. Let's just say that I'm much more self-aware now.
Wait I'm not going to apologize for any of that.

Anyway
We are very different in some ways but
I feel that it's a soul connection. He has been my rock. It's phenomenal how kind he can be. He has his own stuff going on too and I respect it. Life is complicated I guess. We all have choices we have to make for out own lives and I'm a cerebral kind of person and I did not know he was there for me or why or when or where or how sometimes but I felt it, like an invisible connection through the ether. And I'm deeply grateful for it always.
Anyway this all started at the  beginning of what I could only call a period of wallowing, searching, growth, expansion and contraction and let's face it, I couldn't get my head straight for more than oh say,
Like an hour or two at a time, tops. It was a difficult transition for me and I made some decisions that didn't make sense except to me, but I certainly leaned the ropes along with some painful life lessons.  Trial by fire and all. Yikes!

I ******* it all up
He ******* up too some

I think we both learned a lot.

All I know is that I am not that simpering clueless girl anymore. I feel that I'm really ready now to debut the best version of myself yet. I can feel the forward motion finally!! It's exciting. . I've been doing massive inner work so it seems like I stalled but I was just idling. Now ready to roll. But I don't speed anymore. I enjoy the ride, and I will enjoy the rise and fall of the events around me, or at least sponge up all the knowledge that I can.
FYI I am all that I write and it's not window dressing. Every single thing I ever wrote is true right down to the odd stories of my childhood mishaps.  I have had an apparently entertaining life and there's much more to come. Like, what happened to my sister's chickens?! (Who cares?)
Anyway I  admit that I was a mess and far from perfect. it took time for me to realize that I was just preparing myself for my life's work...and that is to love the people in my real world for the rest of my life even if it's only to say hello. And some virtual love if I happen to be online which is simply not the same but a great distraction when it's cold out or boring, you know?
I hope beyond hope that my future includes this amazing man because he is the only man I want to be with iRL and I've tried in so many ways to let him know and ******* that up too, utterly. Repeatedly.  I don't even know if he will ever actually talk to me in person again, and I can't ask.
I'm not even sure how to let him know about tomorrow or was that another gotcha?
That is the state of things. I have faith in myself and I know that I am a one-man woman so if it's not him, I'll heal up in a decade or two and write a bunch more stuff and eventually be set to try again! Whooooo!
There's sooooo much more I'd like  to share about him but it's private. I won't post online about..really private stuff.
So this is a message to all of you:

What happens online is anybody's guess. Same as life I suppose.

Let's see