In the old days
when I was a nobody
I needed a mentor
in order to groom me into success
into self-actualisation and to bring
all my dreams into reality
and so I found a mentor
and I learned of him the 3 principles
to success and complete achievement
And yes, since you ask,
I shall pass on to you the 3 principles
that my mentor had learned from someone before

And I hope you in turn
will pass on this secret
of the 3 Principles
to nobodies who might come
knocking at your door


PRINCIPLE 1
Know what you want

PRINCIPLE 2
Never tell them all that you know

I remember crying over Chopin.
I was twenty years old
and coming down from alcoholism.
There were words in the
hammers and strings,
but I couldn't understand
a word that they were saying.

Around that time I started meditation.
A room to renovate, I took
a step-ladder to the astral realm
and spilled poetry from my dreams.
I was twenty years old
and in the process of quitting.
It's a slow-burner, even now.

There were doctrines for self-actualisation.
I was moved to understand them
in a smattering of conspiracy theories,
Buddhist mantras, and lazy hikes.
I wore sunglasses and shorts
in Gran Canaria, and strived
to get you out of your dress.

I remember swimming in the cenote
and conjuring breeze from
the warmth of your breath.
I would soak into wine and
stolen cigarettes, as you toyed with
your bikini in the mirror. I remember
the freckles along your inner thigh.

Around that time I worked a living
scanning bar-codes and forcing
hangovers down until lunch.
There was a tiredness gained
that cannot be shaken off,
and a lust for justice
amputated at the tip.

There were road-side sandwiches
and flicks of hair in the wind.
You pinned me to the bed
and showed me what love meant.
Three years on and I'm an old man.
There are friendships contained
in memories, as I think back to when
I was twenty years old.

A resounding truth sticks to every wall,
Like meat on teeth, beneath.
Surfacing tragic like cyber sugar on the conscious,
Of every intelligent automaton.
Devaluing the humanity we created in sleep,
Harbouring our nylon smiles and effortless chaste.
Ripped flesh on creations, godlike
Burned images, sigil instilled in culture
Nocturnus, bleeding in harmony
Locomotion of self actualisation homunculus cured
Rid of transcendental elements at the first instance
Of empathy, drawn out in an empty tenure
Interlocking lines-moving, spread out against
Aluminium and glass, superseding the law of nature,
Bubbles, echoing through the apology of life
Bursting forthwith and raining bleach and decadence,
On delirious heads-boiled in sand for life eternal.
Your masquerade, a bloodline polluted
By perfumed green shading, eliminating the best
Carrion, complicated sadness, basic molecular print
Our progenitor, poster child for carbon-based reluctance.
Menial beings, occupying space to nowhere,
Hotel rooms full of dust,
Lying figures, tossing themselves on typewriters
Creating a kaleidoscope of prose.
Hands, arms & legs bound by penance,
And the delayed snot of the diseased
Winding amongst this polystyrene city.
Sunken into a cosmopolis refuse,
The anchor to all that is pure,
Heaven is your populace.
And your ego is the gel that destroys our relation.

I lived in greatest of expectation
Wished I'd find one to share my grief
Someone to understand my situation
And I ultimately found her,to my relief

I was you
So obsessed with the pleasure I found
To her control where I was bound
So cultured to having her around
Lost in conversation, love as common ground

I was you
I trusted without asking
Yes,it was really tasking
loved like there's no hurting
Held on like we was never parting
Kissed deeply and memorably
Embraced tightly and inevitably
Lost it all,as I vividly recall

I was you
When the love became history
yet I couldn't solve the mystery
when all I tried to say only irritated
and the warmth of her evaporated

I was you
when my tears flowed like a stream
and I just couldn't bear the steam
when scary was every dream
I wouldn't survive an hour it'd seem

I was you
I watched blindly as days went by
Even my tears said goodbye
my eyes bloodshot and dry
like I was doing **** and sky high

I was you
when aches became my pleasure
And with loneliness I spent my leisure
When mistakes cost me my treasure
was told for memories time's the only eraser

I was you
when I was axed and "vexed"
and no one else worked
for my moods were a pendulum
and moving on an extra curriculum
when I wanted to see her in the next
and I would still call her and text

I was you
I was empty for I had lost a universe
she was in every song and every verse
threw away chances,missed every pass
ignored the glances,a man under a curse

I was you
but one day I started to rebuild
I was tired of looking back
and needed to get back on track
I started to count my blessings and luck
To see the much I have over the little I lack

I was you
But self actualisation came with time
a long time of wandering lost
years of being dead to life and living a ghost
of thinking letting go was a crime
when I gave up forever and ceased to be blind
placed pieces of my heart in a bag and let reign my mind

I was you
when I wouldn't live without her
and I reopened every healed scar
when I felt that if it wasn't her it wasn't love
until I realised we only lose what we don't deserve

I was you
Till I believed I could find myself again
that if I couldn't overcome I could live with the pain
when I forgot the innocence and embraced the stain
and instead of crying I started dancing in the rain
I was you

I'm addicted to my favourite
non-existent recreational drug,
cueing in; compulsive lying.

The additional side effects
to my mind, soul and heart,
ain't as bad as I thought.

When I'm being questioned
about my troubling mental health,
I lied straight through my teeth,
that nothing could **** me,
yet I wanted to **** myself
the exact same hour.

I once lied to a friend that,
I will stay by her side
but in actuality,
I didn't even want to
stay in this world

But the biggest lie
that ever happened
is by telling myself
that I will soon be alright,
and lying is my only
coping mechanism

I think.

You know what I love
about this addiction,
is that it's a distraction
from the real harm,
which is self-actualisation,
of my ailing self.

There will be another day to be remarkable,
another day to be compassionate.
I will save the pandas after
I have slept this off.
There will be another day for self-actualisation.
Today I shall be drunk
and quite intolerable.

Every person
in the world
is deserving
of care:
care for their feelings
care for their health and well-being
care for their self-actualisation
care for what they need to function optimally
care for their joy and happiness.