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LOSING YOU HAS BEEN THE MOST NUMBING EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE IT'S BEEN PAINFUL BUT IT'S THE MOST COMFORTABLE PAIN I'VE EVER BEEN BROUGHT UPON IN THE PROCESS OF LOSING YOU I'VE LEARNED THAT THERE ARE DIFFERENT TYPES OF NUMBNESS THERE'S THE NUMBNESS YOU FEEL WHEN THE DOCTOR PRESCRIBES YOU MEDICATION AND YOUR BODY DOESN'T REACT THE RIGHT WAY AND THEN THERE'S THE NUMBNESS YOU EXPERIENCE WHEN YOU'RE COMING OFF OF NOVACANE BUT THE TYPE OF NUMBNESS YOU'VE CAUSED ME TO FEEL IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL NUMBNESS I THINK A PERSON CAN FEEL BECAUSE I FEEL FREE AND NOW THAT YOU'RE GONE I REALIZED IT DOESN'T FEEL ANY DIFFERENT FROM WHEN YOU WERE SUPPOSEDLY IN MY LIFE SO CAN A PERSON REALLY LOSE SOMEONE THEY FEEL THEY NEVER REALLY HAD IN THEIR LIFE TO BEGIN WITH?
Quentin Briscoe  Dec 2011
snake
Quentin Briscoe Dec 2011
Cold mornings but yet i dont feel it...
Cold blooded soul
Got a heart with a hole....
No sealent...
30 and below
i wont start to show...
Black ice on the ground tell me you can see it...
Tropic antiseptic...
rubbed across my skin...
novacane injected...
followed by a pin...
No pain, just frost bitten..
with no mittens...
ground across my belly..
Eat the fruit I know your hungry...
blankpoems Feb 2014
If you see her again before I do, tell her the way she left left me shaking like a winter windchime;
the song too frozen to melt on her tongue.
I am scared of all her moving on.
The only serious love poems I write are about the same person who hides God in her hair and shows me the lingerie she bought while I try to unfog my glasses to look at her straight.
I am too convinced that she is made up of lines that lead straight to my firework skin. There has been too many explosions here.
The only way to deal with missing you is to tell you and wait and see if you feel the same. Or novacane.
I imagine you taste like an acid trip... all conspiracy theories and sugary words too sober to ever speak.
If you see her again before I do, tell her that I am a mess without her.  That my mind only settles with her tear-stained cheeks and the only way I can see the ocean in the winter in Canada is to look into her eyes.
I am scared that I am being overdramatic.
I want to rub our wrists together so we can trade scars.
Tell me the story of how you met your best friend and I'll tell you the story of how I fell out of loving my mother.
I would rather listen to you ramble than check the time.
If you see her again before I do, tell her that on the way home from her arms I counted 1200 streetlamps, 13 lovers, 3 liquor stores and 72 shakes of my knees.
Tell her I miss her like Frances misses Kurt.  Like dive bars miss blues music.
When I see you again, lover, I'll tell you that when you told me your name two years ago, I was surprised that it wasn't Love.
Daniel Apr 2015
Depressed, suicidal, numb,
repeat and smile
because you believed in polyamory.

About a week ago,
she said she loved me.
About a week ago,
she had him coming.
My girl with the black lace choker.
Bang Bang--
No holster.
Daniel Apr 2015
I'm a pack rat--
the reason I keep you in my hand
gathering lint and sand.
Some familiar decay,
hoping I can let go one day.
Daniel Apr 2015
When I wake up with you
I can't seem to down my food
'cause I know I'm living a lie.
I may be stupid,
only 'cause you make me feel alive.
Daniel Apr 2015
When we were out,
you'd graze your nails on my back,
rubbing my thigh--
Sometimes a little too high.
I miss this too much,
which is why I'm too high.
TC  Apr 2013
Felled
TC Apr 2013
Scuzzy film on a scalding riptide,
Bare sinew woven like scaffolding,
Catcalling as warm-and-fuzzies
Mince by like so many exposed marble legs
Passing construction sites.
Crimped by a polaroid viewfinder,
I sit alone and click-click-click
With folded memories in my pocket.

Let me just set the record straight:
I’m still in love with our contrails,
But you can go **** yourself.
We were helter-skeltering kids
Rivulets of caustic devotion
Sweltering down our skeletons,
Fly away with me again, please
I’m seeing synonyms for you
In every ally-cat hymnal
This gutter throat can sputter out
Seeing scarecrows bound by wicker muscles
Shivering in a windfarm
Powered by all those doors you slammed
Snapping together like worn
Rubber bands warm summer hands --
Dance with me, you were
The most perfectly human
I've ever felt.

Is that Listerine rolling out of your mouth
In waves of empty bottles once meant for me?
Off of your shoulders like a cape,
A swindler, eyeing you
Like you’re trying to sell me cutlery.
Exchange glances that are
Trailmix crumbling between couch cushions,
Rubbing shoulders with waspy relief,
Tendrils of comfort had me gripped by the biceps
Spread eagle like a petrified starfish
Till I lashed out at you with bullwhip arms
Because my own back had been too hard to reach lately,  

Mirrored
Ad Infinitum.
Your tongue looks like a mirror,
Stick it out at me,
We always did look more than alright together
People stared on the subway,
Called us starry-eyed without a trace of irony.
Back in the day when you made me happier
Than something I don’t even have a metaphor for,
Just happy. Happy needs no metaphors.

I still check my reflection every once in a while
Never know if we’ll collide again anyway,
Best to be prepared but instead I
Drift aimfully towards a catacomb of eyelash wishes
And equally corny ******* I never believed in,
Still don’t,

It was getting at us, though,

Rubbing sandy fists down to the core
Instead of holding hands
Crunchy apple shell
Skin friction,
Bite the seed,
1,000 angry pomegranate teeth,
Chapped lips like crustacean shells,
Aligned like eye-freckles
Me looking like an unused punching bag,
You somewhere off in the distance,
A fading marble of plasticine light
On my wavering horizon.

Because yeah, you broke my ******* heart
You were novacane cruel and selfish
And so immature it stunned me
But you also taped it back into my chest
On the day we met so I guess we’re even.

It’s funny, already I can’t quite remember your voice,
the shape of my name in your mouth,
how you laughed,
but every word  you ever said
is still carved onto the back of my hand
like a roadmap towards all the ways
you showed me how to love myself.

Still rubbing them away with your scalding riptide,
All those words you said about forever,
Now just shackles,
So gladly did I submit to yours,
I still hate those ornery devices
Even now when,
They’re curled at my feet
Like broken wings.
Daniel Apr 2015
After all the keys of *******,
conversations of heartbreak,
swigs of liquor mundane,
and kisses from Maryjane
I swear I can drive home.
Numb, thinking of Love--

Snapchat your toys when we hang.
Won't reply to my love when you see my name.
Everytime you come back to visit
by the Murrieta cold mist,
you hold my hand and kiss my lips
like you're sick of it.

You told me you still got it for me.
But Girl, why do you dance when I cry?
Been around the beds at the UC
so give me meaning to why I still try.

I'm begging Honeychild,
****** of my eyes.
Dangerous with your lies--
****** to the real stuff,
Couldn't understand my love.
I'm begging Honeychild,
Show my you still got it for me.

I'm out in South County
driving under Orion's belt.
Call you when my drunk heart is for sell again.
"Please, please drive home" you told me,
Suicidal tendencies control me.

No more drugs,
no more driving like the street has me sprung.
But of the bumps that clumped my vision,
and drugs that sunk my conscious,
you were the worse
saying Novacane was yours.
A sad song, why can't you see I'm the one
feeling numb
on the ice cold lawn,
while you're filming ****
with no red light on.
"On the ice...red light on." -- "Novacane" by Frank Ocean (Nostalgia, ULTRA)
Daniel Apr 2015
It was really a
Lazer Tag survival love story.
Two kids in a 4 year summer--
She just shot me in the end.
Bang Bang
Never understood if it was intentional,
if her gun went out of her control,
if she was sorry afterwards.
I doubt she understood either.
Novacane -- "Novacane" by Frank Ocean (Nostalgia, ULTRA)
Bang Bang -- "Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)" by Nancy Sinatra.
KUMOMI

     Laying here under this sapphire sheet of dreams,
No limits
No rules
       Nobody else

I dive into this non-aquatic azure sea of thoughts,
    No oxygen
    No wetsuit
             Nothing but faith

Psyche an oracle arena-in an undeniable Golden state,
         No fear        
    No higher
     Novacane

Soul searching for a sole purpose within,
       No answers
    No clarity
    Nostalgic

Awoken with a cleansed perspective,
          No questions
       No notions
       Nourished.
'K U M O M I' •Romans 12:2 - "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Just a couple of thoughts I jotted down whilst chilling. Taking a pause from writing wasn't only necessarily to have break & focus on other things, but to also delve within for inspiration instead of around. I took time to just relax & reflect on how God has blessed me personally and was able to open my mind to ambiguous thoughts. Faith within ones self care & the Father will enable his/her confidence to soar on wings like eagles. Also, the piece is named Kumomi after the song produced by the luminary himself, Nujabes. The Japanese term loosely translates to "cloud watching" which helps convey the image of me "laying here under this sapphire sheet of dreams" and all that follows. A man/woman may look endlessly throughout life trying to find happiness, but once he/she are able to discover oneself - there is no such state as being 'lost'. God bless
Willow  Jan 2019
novacane
Willow Jan 2019
caught in the crossfire
between the beautiful colossal catastrophe of our love

rapid fire through my veins
like novacane
you numb me

tangled in silk sheets
with you pressed up against
me

skin on skin
my sweet escape  

I’m in love with the love that we create

W. Be
M H John  Jul 2023
bedroom walls
M H John Jul 2023
if the walls of my bedroom could talk
they’d say how i cry
to the moon
holding my breath
giving myself chest pain
convincing my brain
that it’s from the novacane
i force myself to take
because now & days
i numb myself
to be washed in your acid rain
because it still lives inside me
storming away
anytime i choose
to speak your name

— The End —