I needed a warm embrace
So I dreamt one up
Kind and strong
Arms holding me tight to your chest
And you stayed
For so long...
Just let me melt into you
Let me feel safe
Like you cared
I knew you wouldn’t let me go

But I woke up

And remembered

It only happens

When I’m asleep.

I cleansed my sheets of you today
Spread out the sheet and tucked in the corners with extra care
Laid a blanket down, taking a moment to spread my hands across it, feeling the softness
Crawling into it felt odd at first
I knew you weren’t in it anymore
You weren’t wrapping yourself around me and keeping me warm while I slept
You weren’t protecting me from the world around me so I could have a moment at peace
That wasn’t you anymore
So now I have these sheets
Clean, fresh, warm, and not you
What a relief
I pull the sheets in closer, closer
Breathing deeply into them and asking them to keep me warm and safe
Holding me all night while I try not to dream of you

Kiss me passionately
Like your lips
And my lips
Are our lips
Flowing in synchrony
Pushing hard against each other
And pulling away in the most
Tense moments
Breathe in me
Take me and hold me above the ground
While I drown in you
And the water
Pours from my lips
Just from the touch of your kiss

Why is it
That the more times
I say I’m okay
The closer I get
To not being okay

bind my wrists
then throw me overboard
into the ocean
that is overwhelmingly yours
just pin my arms down
and hold me to the floor
don't even give me the option
to look at the door
deny me the right
to leave this room
like my sole purpose
is to be with you
forbid me to go
i want you to do it
your waters are rough
but your movements are so fluid

He said you know I love you

I said,
               remind me