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iloveyou,
you say, tangling up the three words in one breath.
i love you more, i tell you.
no, iloveyoumore, you say.
i love you more than bees love flowers, i say,
and you tell me that bees love pollen
and that youlovememore.
but i love you,
more than bees love flowers and yes, pollen
and i love you more than birds love to sing
more than wishes love stars
more than dreams love sleep
i love you more
than grass loves rain
and rain loves the earth
and the earth loves trees
and the trees love the wind.
i love you more
than sunflowers love sun,
more than the sun loves the sky,
more than the sky loves blue,
more than blue loves the sea.
i love you
ilove you
iloveyou like youloveme.
 Jul 2020 Savanna
ItxNotTrixh
the way you smelled
the way you laughed
the way you felt in my arms
but i will never forget the voice that whispered in my ear for the first time:

“i love you”
ah. emotions. ah. its cool tho.
 Jul 2020 Savanna
ItxNotTrixh
are we all just broken people
trying to fit our broken pieces together
to make each other whole?
tell me
because i dont think its working.
we’re just falling apart
faster than before.
 Jul 2020 Savanna
Empire
mother
 Jul 2020 Savanna
Empire
You want nothing more
Than to be a good mom
To see me succeed
To see me happy
To have me love you

But you’re not
We’re so far past that now
You can’t make up for your mistakes
I can’t thank you for an existence I don’t want

I love you
But you’re not a good mom
You’re just my mother
 Feb 2020 Savanna
Apple juice
Surprise surprise
Daddy didn’t show
Daddy doesn’t care
Daddy doesn’t know
Daddy does care
Daddy knows best
Then why does daddy make empty promises?
Daddy says this
Daddy says that
Daddy buys us gifts
To make up for what he missed
Daddy met a girl
She was daddies world
Next thing you know she replaces daddies little girl
What used to be daddies girl grew up in an empty world
No longer daddies only girl
Daddy left her all alone
No daddy to buy us gifts
No daddy to see his kids
Momma took the blame when daddies girl misbehaved
Daddy had no part in his little girls birthdays
What once was daddies girl
Became a lonely world just a reminder of what used to be daddies girl
Surprise surprise
Daddy isn’t here
Let it be up to daddies to up and disappear
Daddy says funny things
Funny things about wedding rings
Daddy has a lot of flings whatever that means
Momma and daddy don’t get along
Daddy’s mean to momma when momma does something wrong
Mommas mean to daddy when bills aren’t met
Daddy buys gifts for other girls that’s why we’re in debt
Daddy’s mean to momma
Daddy makes momma cry
Daddy’s mean to momma until sunrise
Daddy slams the door
What was that for?
Daddy went to the store
Why is momma torn?
Momma says daddy has another little girl one to buy toys for one with daddy’s curls
What was wrong with this daddies girl?
Why did daddy decide to give up his whole world
Momma said things will get better
But this little girl turned sour and bitter
Surprise surprise
Daddy didn’t show
Daddy said he’ll be watching from the front row
Daddy’s little girl practiced every day till dawn
Just so she could show daddy her moves were spot on
The curtains about to rise
I don’t see daddy what a surprise
The shows about to start
Daddy’s gonna miss my part
Daddy said he’ll be there
Daddy doesn’t lie
Daddy will be here in no time
About to go on stage now
There she goes with her little crown
“Why is that pretty girl wearing a frown?”
Daddies a no show
So this little girl turned stone cold
There’s momma in her pretty gown
Too bad daddy isn’t here to see
How pretty mommy can be
What can you do
Daddy doesn’t stay true
Surprise surprise
Daddy isn’t home
Mommas sitting here waiting by the phone
I’m getting sleepy
But mommas still sitting here weeping
Uh oh what to do
Daddy came home with the reak of b.ooze
What can you do
What did I do wrong? There’s no telling
Daddy won’t stop yelling
Daddy’s getting meaner
Where’s mommy when I need her
Daddy won’t get off of me
Daddy, why are you on top of me?
Surprise surprise
Daddies little prize
Grew up in a web of lies
Poor daddies girl in a lonely world
No daddy to love
No daddy to hug
Just a mean daddy
Who takes off her p.a.n.tees
Surprise surprise
This daddy is no daddy of mine
Let this be true
That all daddies can fool you
During dark times while in residential i discovered the coping skill of poetry and this..this is my favorite out of every piece I bring to life this one takes me and exposes the most vulnerable parts of my Inner being and now I share with you something that holds so much truth.
 Nov 2019 Savanna
Empire
Pills
 Nov 2019 Savanna
Empire
Took another one
Cause they said it might help
Might cause bad stuff... we'll see...
What’s done is done
Once you swallow, you can’t go back
Now I’m properly medicated
Drug away the depression
Just to survive
 Nov 2019 Savanna
Empire
I didn't mean to fall in love
Especially with you
Not like this
I can't have you
You'll never be mine
It was too good to be true
You were everything I wanted
You could've been what I needed
I wanted you with me
I wanted you forever
But it could never be
So instead we circle around
Landing blows
Our hearts aching
My world crashing down around me
And all I wanted...
I just wanted to be with you
But it can't be
So I cry and I scream
Writhing in the agony
Of falling in love
With the man
That I can't have
 Oct 2019 Savanna
Cné
the fall
 Oct 2019 Savanna
Cné
when i fall,
i don't just fall in love.
clumsily, i stumble
down and then i land

awkwardly and graceless,
stuttering utterly at the foot
of a handsome man,

blundering an apology
out of breath, ineptly
embarrassed about
my shaky hands,

clambering
to dust myself off,
all the while, i try,
desperately, to stand

wishing i could disappear,
i rise as quickly as i can
waving off any helping hand

so he doesn't see
how incredibly stupid
i must be
Doh
 Apr 2019 Savanna
ItxNotTrixh
sometimes breathing
and drowning
mean the same thing
 Apr 2019 Savanna
Stained Glass
"you could push me off a cliff

and i would hit the ground

apologizing

for standing so close to the edge."
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