As I pick you up from the airport, I don't feel a thing
As I lie down next to you, I don't feel a thing
As you take my hand in yours, I don't feel a thing
As you say "I love you", I feel a slight guilt.

When I first met you, it wasn't love at first sight,
yet you intrigued me in a way that kept me going,
a couple months later I thought I had fallen,
now seven months later I don't feel anything at all.

As I look through our pictures together, I don't feel a thing
As I kissed another boy at the party last night, I don't feel a thing
As I think of you with another girl, I don't feel a thing
As you say "be safe", I feel a slight guilt

Yet I still can't get myself to break up with you, because in that moment, I know I'll feel everything...

Child, your cry reminds me of my pain
So intense, fruitless and without any gain,
In my mother's womb, I bled my last
Memories of me aborted angers me to lambaste.

I hoped to taste the joy of being born
And caressed like any other child's horn,
But mother did you ever love this child
To have denied him access to your guide?

Hope you gave me when you thought to bare this child
Little wonder I choose a mother like you as my guide,
What then went wrong to have my blood shed?
So innocent a child you gave me no chance to be loved.

On you alone, I placed all my hope and trust
In your womb I thought to avoid rust,
But mother did you hate me that much your own son
To have a harmless child suffer the scorch of abortion?

Mother, you gave me no reason for my crime
To have loved and chosen a mother like mine,
With your hands you murdered your own blood
Oh mother, why the cruelty on this child whom you never did curd?

Whispering
away
the inadequacy
of life
The moral dilemma
of
being never found
Hiding in the comfort
of
every sunrise
Only to find winter falling all around


Making
idols
  from the pouring weather
Thirsty of warmth
rotting in a coffin
Words dying between folds of a letter
Staring in a mirror that is laughing





I see a man without a voice
His eyes as black as coal
I hear the silence in his noise
with
december in my soul



empty
chair
  is rusting by itself
on a fine day to
live and die
in a far corner which no one can tell
there's no standing for a final goodbye




porcupine
skeleton
  hangs in the closet
breathing fumes of a house burning down
dead babies murmur in a cradle of filth
afraid of the clown dancing round





the sky has been lit
on fire
and i sit alone watching the sun fade
strangers chant by the
pyre
consuming the idols science made




i see the time turning
old
the fear shall devour me whole
i ******* eyes burning cold
with
december in my soul
that fades in me and eats my heart
i am left with nothing to feed my pain
memories pierce like broken
shards
and here i bleed now once again
take away my name
and my lies
Leave me with my shadow in tears
i'm the duckling who couldn't fly
a stranger no matter what i
wear
weeping
autumn's
melancholic
colour
painting my window in a gloomy hue
where
i still sing to the face in the mirror
oh god
i remember a sky so blue


I remember


Watching the rain fall


I remember it all


There was so much more


No stained walls



No windows hiding in the dark


only people with no face



To have never left that old place



where december rained on my soul



found me whole


lost me whole