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FRIDAY, AUGUST 19, 2016
Saying to myself that this will NEVER be me
But look at me now I'm scared to speak
A secret I've kept within myself
Something I refuse to tell anyone else
Only God knows the pain I've inhaled
I guess I have to live by the cards I've been dealt
I know harboring this secret is only making it worse
I know
I need help
But who do I tell
80% of women don't report **** crimes
I used to judge but now I see why
This happiness I'm portraying
Is built on a lie
I swallow my pride
To avoid what I'm feeling inside
Sometimes I just want to break down and cry
I can no longer keep this in the back of my mind
Im praying I find the strength to say good-bye


Phenomenallycee
"Forever"  is such a foolish word,
To its promise we're held like a slave,
Too often love is vowed forever
And then hurtled toward an early grave

Without shame, "forever" deceives us,
For what it vows, it can't deliver,
Like a stream that can't float a dried leaf,
Yet, it boasts like a mighty river

Yes, "forever" is a finite word
Eternity must find amusing,
Just a carelessly shared expression
We mortals delight in abusing

"Forever"  derides reality
Even when spoken with good intent;
But only fools believe "forever,"
And soon discover its value spent

Yet, we need "forever" in our lives,
This word, uttered with bold endeavor,
This beacon that lights our darkest hours,
Can we just cast it aside?  Never!
 Feb 2017 Ryan Vallee
caroline
i just want to get away from this town, these people, even you. i'm afraid that what i'm feeling isn't right and i'm not sure where to go or what to say, so for now i'll just stay right here. i have a million things running through my brain and not one of them is me and you ten years from now, because lately everything just hurts. it's crazy... not even i realized that i don't have my **** together.
 Feb 2017 Ryan Vallee
Atlas
Oh darling,
You made me feel like I was floating
On the ocean
Miles and miles away
From everyone.
But now I am sinking
And the fishes are passing me by
As I think about my life
And how nothing ever seemed to turn out right
This poem is actually a song I wrote
All I do is think of you
So I drown my mind in liquor
But you swam to the bottom to rescue me
And I woke up from it all even sicker

I can't stand it, but I miss you
And I numb my heart in ways I shouldn't
Trying to fill this empty room you left in me
But I know it'll always be vacant.
 Feb 2017 Ryan Vallee
Laura
aware
 Feb 2017 Ryan Vallee
Laura
i'm so aware of you i feel like your breathing is synched with my feet,
and when you smile at me nothing else exists but the air between your mouth and mine
every time you laugh my stomach is in space, every other sound dissolves into ambient noise,
the electricity when you look at me the way you do when we're not you and i
snapping quick witted quips back and forth in our own language only we understand
when you're singing i know that i've never heard music as compelling, seen eyes as captivating
when you're in a room i can sense you so much that if i don't touch you soon the stars might fall down and rip me open
because being so aware of you is like heaven only when i'm dreaming and i have to wake up
carry me away
I dream of the one day where we meet again; anew
two from the same soul
seeing you, a past lover
as a new individual
different in appearance, different in mind
maybe we will meet once more
when you no longer support your temper
and I my immaturity
we will be cloaked in a new moon's light
seeing each other through skin and bones
forget insecurities; forget past disagreements
oh, but I am humbled
such prideful thinking it is to ever imagine another chance in this life
to get things right
I am not yet developed to receive you
so for now,
I will dismiss this as naïve thinking
until we meet again, until you forgive me
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