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hani aqil Jan 2019
I’m not one to tell
But some people really deserve it

I’m not one to be so fell
But some people really need it

Sometimes I think I could ****
Sometimes I think I am wrong
But now I know I was right
My just bloodlust is useless to fight

I paint your face white
I paint over the neon mess
I tackle you to the ground
Ram your head on the seething white floor

I want to crack your skull
I want to hear it snap under the weight of my hands
Alas I am weak
But not weak enough to **** you quickly

My knees are digging into your chest
My hands are around your grizzly neck
Asphyxia is a good solution to some problems

Choke, you old *******

I won’t let you go so fast

I drag you by your hair into the lift outside my unit
It’s really dark
It’s way past midnight and everything is quiet
Everything is quiet when you’ve lived so noisily

The red lights from the buttons glow slowly and gently and I press the first floor gingerly
The automated voice says “first floor” in that funny little way it always does

The lift descends, with me and you
It is like a passage to hell
For the both of us

We’re not dead yet
But we are corpses
Both of us

The stars are so pretty tonight
You can rarely see them so clear
But tonight every corner of time is enveloped in a
Gluttonous cocoon of darkness

I haul you out to the shady alley where
Nobody sleeps but nobody listens
And I wait
For the dogs to smell you

The dogs are tearing your flesh apart
Like bubblegum
I want to feed you to them
See their canine fangs sink into you
But even the most vicious hounds
Will never use you as meat
For fear of the evil laced in you

You’re not dead yet
I told you I wouldn’t let you go just like that
You can scream all you want, old man
Nobody sleeps but nobody listens
A timely taste of your own medicine

You can’t spell illegal without legal

In your last moments I **** your mouth with a knife
hani aqil Jan 2019
he came in my dreams one night
faceless, bleeding fluorescent pink
dragonfly wings
caved at feet
Bugs are so easy to squash

a child is a
limp rag doll
is a two tongued succubus
carving fishnets in flesh

I cannot touch but
I can scream from the watchtower
in the dead of night
in the dense blackness
void penetrated by a voice
dissipating in futility

as the
fish on deck
spluttering, scales fluttering
entwines in honeycomb plastic

who knew the one who started it all
had the strength to take it all away?
tongues are so dangerous
they can taste ever so sweet and slick
or cut like knives
wet with anger
the sweetness I drowned in is now
petals rotten, blackened and thickened the water
fragment me
over and over

Me, a wolf
Bit a chunk
But drowned
in my shadow
I’m one with the one I despise

I am
Venus fly
Antichrist embedded
Parasitic blood

Who knew the one who started it all
Had the sense to take it all away?

Who's your
Precious little child now?
Who's your
Precious little child now?

Father, child
Cat and mouse
Choke, choke and cough up that
you *******

Ripe for the plucking like a plum begging for harvest
A cat may as well be a mouse to a wolf
A cat may as well be a mouse to a wolf
sorry for inconsistent formatting im a lazy *******
hani aqil Apr 2018
I will say astaghfirullah but
Imam, I am innocent
How heinous the crime I have committed but
No stones shall slit my back.

I will say astaghfirullah but
Old man, I am innocent
A child like me is not you yet
We are different but the same.

I will say astaghfirullah but
Darling, I am innocent
I will cut myself with your blade
Before I bleed pagan poetry.
for context:
astaghfirullah = I seek forgiveness from God
Imam = worship leader of a mosque, my grandfafher used to do this
Stoning = punishment for adultery
hani aqil Apr 2018
I apologise
for the apologies;
sorry was a selfish word.
(modified haiku) i have crippling depression read alllllll about it!!!!!!!!!!!
hani aqil Apr 2018
my feet are taking me someplace I don't want to be.

they say
third times the charm but the fourth

is luckier.

traffic is
so pretty at night;
bokeh dance shrouded in black,
cars oscillating forward and back,
so enticingly juvenile are the lights.

at crossroads I
test the waters
concrete ocean;
I can stand on it.
I can almost taste
the blood
in my mouth,

I can almost wash
the blood
off my hands.
I tried to **** myself (again) today
hani aqil Apr 2018
I will
melt a thousand suns in my mouth for you;
sink a thousand seas in my stomach for you;
freeze a thousand trembling tundras in my calves for you
eternal frostbite;
live for you.
: (
hani aqil Mar 2018
negative b plus/minus square root b² minus 4ac over 2a, the quadratic formula;
the numbers don't lie.

10th June, 2002; my birth.
the numbers don't lie.

when y equals to 0 you can find
the x-intercepts;
the numbers don't lie.

#03-04; my unit.
the numbers don't lie.

I am better than everyone but
person in this room;
the numbers don't lie.

when y equals to a times (x-h)² plus k,
(h,k) is the vertex;
the numbers don't lie.

157 cm; my height.
the numbers don't lie.

negative b over 2a,
the axis of symmetry;
the numbers don't lie.

16th April, she told me she would love me forever,
23rd May, we kissed,
14th February, she told me to leave her forever;
glassy-hearted valentine;
the numbers don't lie.

negative b² minus 4 times a times c,
the discriminant;
the numbers don't lie.

43 kg; my weight.
the numbers don't lie.

my value is exponentially depleting but
I am still better than 7 out of 10 of you;
the numbers don't lie.

when x equals to 0 you can find
the y-intercept;
the numbers don't lie.

3 times, my drowning attempts failed;
the numbers don't lie.

I think my days are numbered;
I don't lie.
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