I want to write your words on my skin
So that they can be fully absorbed
And with me forever.

You don't love someone if you can leave them for days without warning.
You don't love someone if your happiness means more to you than theirs.
You don't love someone if you can lie straight to their face and not feel the slightest bit guilty.
You don't love someone if seeing them cry doesn't shred your heart to pieces.
You don't love someone if you get angry at them for being upset and they don't open up to you right away.
You don't love someone if you make them feel guilty for things that are out of their control.
You don't love someone if falling asleep to their voice isn't the most comforting thing to you.
You don't love someone if their laugh isn't your favorite sound.
You don't love someone if when you look into their eyes, you see a reflection of yourself.
You don't love someone if when you kiss them, your mind doesn't go completely fuzzy and you can still remember your name.
You don't love someone if being in their arms doesn't feel like home
You don't love someone if you allow your friends to talk badly about them and you agree.
You don't love someone if just hearing their name doesn't make you smile.
You don't love someone if making them happy isn't one of your top priorities.
You don't love someone if you can admit that they love you more.


    

                                    B.S.

I am one of the hardest people to love. If you want a challenge, I guess I'm your girl. There are a few things you should know about me, though. 1. I most likely won't trust you even though you've never wronged me. 2. I'll push you away every chance I get. Don't let me, though. I secretly want you to stay. 3. I get upset over the smallest things. 4. I'm very good at making people feel guilty. 5. I laugh at everything to keep myself from crying.
6. I let all my sadness and anger build up until I explode. 7. I am extremely stubborn and will never admit I'm wrong. 8. I hate being told what to do, so don't try pushing me around. I won't allow it. 9. I am very clingy and protective. There are reasons for that which I am not willing to explain.
10. I figure out everything so don't try lying to me. Chances are I already know the truth. 11. I hate myself. Don't ask me why. Don't tell me to love myself. Don't expect me to love me just because you do. 12. I am very insecure. If you compliment me and I tell you no, it's not because I'm fishing for more compliments or begging for attention, I just don't believe your comment to be true. 13. I can't handle arguments. If we get in a fight, I'll most likely walk out. Let me go. It's for the best. I promise I'll come back. 14. I'll love you uncondionally. Please don't take advantage of that. 15. I like going on adventures and keeping myself busy. Please don't try holding me back. I won't stay. 16. I have days where I won't speak a word. Don't try forcing me to talk. We'll both end up frustrated. 17. I won't let you in easily.
18. I like to know every detail about people, but I won't let them know a thing about me. 19. I get excited over the smallest things, especially sunsets. If I make you drop everything to come look at it, just go with it. 20. Half the things I do, don't make sense. I'll laugh at myself, so laugh along with me.
If there's something on this list you won't be able to handle, don't bother with me.

I won't change myself for you.


                                   B.S.

How?
How?
This is the question that I ask.
To live away from her is my task.
But this is an impossible feat,
for my life without her is incomplete.
The times with her I cherish the most.
So being apart is like being on an opposite coast.
When I hold her in my arms,
it is just her and I safe from harm.
When I comfort her when sad,
it's like I protect her from all that is bad.
When I see her dance,
I'm so awed that I am entranced
When I hear her sing,
I sit back, close my eyes, and listen to the music ring.
From these things I am powerless to resist.
So thus she is sorely missed.
How can I stay away,
away from where my heart lay?
How?
........How?
..............................

In depths of despair
     I can find some joy
                 In knowing
       He, who loves
   And cares so deeply
      Means a lot to me
Seems to have something
           A light, a star
     That makes him happy
Although, I wish to be
             The one who shines
Who makes his days brighter
        Who's strong enough
To carry through for both of us
            And he's a fighter
But that's not always enough
        I find comfort
            I have some peace
Believing that, just maybe
        There's a reason
           A fate, a destiny
    Something else for me
Or maybe it's a crossroad
            A bridge
And getting to the other side
       Will bring clarity
               Peace of mind
    And we'll fulfill
A path that we created
         Lessons to be learned
Or that 'just friends'
      Isn't necessarily
              A bad thing
  Just push forward
Think of where I'm going
         Who I'm being
   And that he has another path
To walk, to cut branches
         For something unplanned
  A fate not yet claimed
            Or just maybe
     That's what destiny is
Struggling through the pain
      To learn from your mistakes
           And find a new path  to take
   But I really gotta say
        It all makes me stronger
   It's something I can't regret
            Cause his happiness
    Makes me smile
        With tears of sadness
              Streaming down my face
   And the depths of my emotions
       I may just take to my grave
           Cause my conscience
   Is a terrible truth to take
         But that's what life is
Going through heartache
       After heartache
             With more heartache
   Until destiny reveals its self
       And no amount of wealth
Can add up to the value
          Or weight in gold
   Of the happiness you'll find
              That's so true
      He may not be mine
But he'll forever be in my life
          And that'll be just fine
   Cause you can't rewind
Or turn around the path you take
          But you can accept
     Move forward
On the beaten path of fate
        Finding peace on earth
     As you walk towards
That **heavenly gate

A promise of love,
Years of compromise,
Ups and down,
Happiness and sadness,
Weakness and strength,
Happy memories, children, family...
Gifts,
Professional growth,

Then what?
When your skin, energy and body are not the same,
Someone comes along offering to provide a new start,
New start?.....the same cycle starts.
Then you realize how much you have lost.
What do we take?
Memories and the fullfillment of knowing we did the best we could.

My lesson:
Appreciate today,
Be thankful for what I have,
Love my family and look at adventures to renew within and with my partner in love,
Don't look outside....look within,
Live to the fullest and share it with your family,
Keep humble and don't do harm,
don't excuse your actions, take accountability.

Create a real world, not a fictitious one.