isn't it crazy to feel everything and nothing all at once?


people say hate and fear are the worst feelings..

No the worst feeling doesn't have a word.

Its the unspoken, full of hollowness.

my mind is constantly reminding me of this feeling. demanding i take up as little space as possible.

Twilight's melody rises
mournfully dressed in lilac hues 
she grieves for the glory of the primrose sun.

The rise and fall of waltzing starlings
mirror the final breaths of the day
as with glorious mirth they beckon to the silvered chill of the moon.

I used to be a broken man, lost and so confused
But over time I think I've changed
and all because of you
Now I wouldn't say I'm still not lost
or wiser than before
But all my bits are back as one and it's you that I adore

And there you were,
Black and white.
Emotionless: No excitement, no euphoria, no sadness, no fear,
Void of art, void of darkness, void of light.

How easy it is to be distracted away,
From you, from that of which is so important,
Yet your dullness can be compared to a lonesome tree which for a hundred years had had no sway,
Or a handsome husband who is nothing but impotent.

How deep, how dull,
And yet attractive to some.
And in these wee hours when the very air seems to lull,
And I slowly drift off hoping to tear through the fabric of space and time,

I pray I don't get distracted.
Because to understand that very dullness,
Is to conquer and to finish what I started,
And to blossom in all a nerd's fullness.

I used to be you,
Turning his darkness into light.
I used to be the only one,
Who could make everything alright.

I used to hear the words,
He now says to you.
All the promises made,
Every single one untrue.

I used to be the one he'd call
When he had a bad day.
Endless hours spent on the phone,
Even if there was nothing left to say.

I used to be the believer,
That our love could never end.
Now, I'm the one lost and alone,
Trying to find my way again.

I was the one with a broken heart,
When it wasn't meant to be.
I used to be you.
But now...you are me.

I feel you in the wind
wrapping around me
like blankets your mother made
yet you are ever intangible.

I see you in light
filtering through leaves
that spread upon branches
like veins of the sky.

I hear you in songs and tales
written of others.
Deeds both great and terrible
They speak to me
knowing that I would
one day weep with a smile.

These are things
unceasing and present
yet I am glad to keep you with me
Through these mediums
I know there is no death.

Live and learn
crash and burn

Ashes

Rise again
Phoenix in the wind

Magic

Hope was selling
dreams to the hermits
on the street.
Empty stars filled the carts
paying a price that was too
high.
In debt they left
and came back broke with
butterflies in their dusty pockets
and moon kissed smiles upon their frowns.

Aspiring the rocky dust of crushed stars,
feeling high, feeling new
shooting up, falling down-
A shower of meteors lighting up across the horizon.
Crashing the earth's crust,
addicts for another fix.

Dreamers stealing the stars,
tasting paradise for a little while.

To think
I wanted only
you to read
my work.

Can you Imagine
I wanted only
you to take
in all
that I
presented.

Like blood
offerings
atop a
ancient
pyramid,
I sacrificed
great chunks
of me on
paper.

All  in
hopes of
reaching
beyond that
frown you wore
in those
final soul
******* days.

I thought
I knew you.
The way I knew
you were smiling
in the dark

The way I
knew the
answers to
those questions
only your
eyes knew how
to ask.

I hoped you
of all people
would
get something
out of
all of this

Understand
how much
of me
these words
take to be.

To think I
didn't share
any of this
with anyone
for years.

Foolish
is the only
word I hear.