One lit wick amongst a sea of dismantled candles
That one flickering flame, the one that still shines
That one is mine

But lately that fire has become my world entire
Lingering on to the dying hope
That this little flame will burn the rope
That the world has tied around my neck
And threw a bag over my head
Lifted me on to a bucket
But I won’t go down that easily
**** it

We live a crazy world
Don’t we have the right go insane for little while?

Put on a little smile
and cancel out somebody else’s little frown
Because hands down
it’s better than that canned cloud
you bought on sale because it was cheaper
than spending a night gazing up at the sky
and putting your imagination to work
for more than minimum wage

That canned cloud won’t cut it
so melt it with your flickering flame
Down to the same gut instinct
that makes you hit snooze on your alarm clock
even when you’re already late

But wait, there’s more!
While you enjoy your controlled snore cold war, withhold your
neurons from running the relay race they’ve been training for
until you’ve found a track
that drowns your wrath
and surrounds your knack
for that weird little thing you do that makes you you

Burn the rope and go insane
train your brain to listen to itself instead of your bank account
And count on this
grassroots enlightenment isn’t on clearance sale
and it doesn’t have a 24/7 drive thru
it revives you ‘till you’re alive anew

Water those grassroots
with some good ol’ indulgence and improvisation
Leave it out in the sun to dry
and my oh my, you’ve just tried something bona fide

Seeing you happy with someone else still stings on the inside but I know he makes you smile and that makes me smile, I became a man tonight and put away all my childish things like holding on the hate I had for you breaking me, but maybe that was all apart of some greater plan, one I do not fully understand but one day I hope we can still be friends because in the end that's what you were to me my best friend, someone I could count on when things got rough, when the seas got scary you were there to calm the storm. I wanna thank you for letting me be apart of your life for so long letting me get to know your family and friends I broke a lot of hearts in the end but I'm not throwing a tantrum anymore I'm setting the unsettled score I'm letting you and everyone see the real the true vulnerable me. In these poems I talk about how sad I am without you but I think those are lies I just tell myself to sleep at night. I love you I always will as a person not in love with you but care for you always and forever until the day I die I will look back and smile on the times we shared, on the memories, the smiles. Thank you for everything. I owe you a big part of me, because without you I wouldn't have became me. The real me. The true me.

Thank you.

I woke up this morning
with rain on my window
there was blood on my arms
and dried tears on my pillow
The knife that I used was sleeping on the floor
I looked at the clock
it was a quarter to four
Marilyn Manson was still playing as I got out of bed
thoughts of last night were hurting my head
My depression kicked in as I turned the music off
I felt ***** in my throat as I tried to cough
It is now five in the morning
I'm taking a shower
I'm starting to get cold
I've been showering for an hour
I step out of the tub
and I get the urge to cut
instead I slip on water
and fall on my ****

...................................

I woke up this morning
there's snow on my window
there are poems on the floor
and blood on my pillow
My heart starts to pound
and I start to cry
as I thank the Lord
for saving me from suicide

I'd like to write poems were I'd say my hearts in pain
But I would be playin with you
From my deepest thoughts all my words are plain
I hate to disappoint you but all my poems come straight from the head

See I'm a science students and I know my heart pours blood not love
So I won't surmise the idea of love
I'll support the idea of trust, care and maybe just to like you, hope that don't spike you

girls love girls and boys
and love is not a choice

There I was,
smiling with out you,
breathing regular,
a good size,
in my eyes.
I was effortlessly exuding
my freedom,
with my two close friends,
Will and Power.

Not even the next hour,
there you were,
poisoning my flow,
with words,
I didn't think you would even know.

What a good hook,
that must have been,
because if you look,
I am back in your nook.
Back in the  position.
Back in your lap,
turning back the pages,
to this dramatic book.

If only I didn't have these memories.