I could tell you of a person she was,
Or how she made me smile,
I could tell you anything there is to be told,
But that may take a while,

But I'll tell you she was sweet,
And that she was one of a kind,
I'll tell you what she was to me,
And how she filled my mind,

I could tell you how much she'd sing,
Whenever happiness burnt her heart,
I could tell everything,
And know not when to stop,

But in her world there was another,
A world I could never understand,
May be I could have tried better,
But I could hold a grip of it by hand,

I will tell you she was a friend,
One I'll forever mourn her loss,
I'll tell you of her end,
And me before her was her choice,

She was a mother,
That's about all there is to say,
And I'll forever love her,
Just wish she'd spent one more day,

I love you,
I tell her in parenthesis;
Which is to say I didn't tell her that at all.

And that has made all the difference.

Time and time again,
I put my heart out there.
I trust people with my truths.
I trust people with my heart.
But now it is time to shut myself back in.
I have made myself alone again.

I hate not being able to call you mine.
You always say "Don't Be Sad"
When you're the reason I'm crying.
You love her.
And not me.
I wish I was the one you were holding in your arms.
But then I see how perfectly she fits in your arms.
All I can do is cry and never tell you you're the reason why.
All I can do is sit here watch you love her
And watch you slowly break my heart in two.

I don't know why
but I notice every
smile you don't return
and touch you don't
reciprocate
and I think
we're falling apart
even though we're falling
closer and closer
in to each other's love

Furious, I shook my fist at God
and said,
How could you allow this!

With an eyebrow raised,
God answered:
*I could ask you the same question.

Yesterday,
I Googled your name,
I searched under “image”,
Nothing came….
I dialed your phone,
It made me nervous,
A strange voice said it was “out of service”,
Your room is empty,
So is your chair,
I just can’t find you anywhere,
I looked in the mirror,
What else could I do?
Something familiar,
I look like you,
Sometimes your children are all that is left,
If I stare to long,
I get upset,
It’s only me,
10 years you’re gone,
Oh how I miss you, mom
©B L Costello 2017