I thought about texting you.
I keep thinking about texting you.
Yet I just can't bring myself to it.
Because maybe, just maybe I'm being too much of a hypocrite.

I can barley hold on,
I can't hardly grip tight.
I'm worried about you, I miss you.
I just, I can't keep holding on.

I've been slowly breaking since seeing you.
I've been slowly falling and finding myself deep under water.
I can't find any sort of light.
Darkness continues to consume me.
I've lost you.
A piece of myself too.

Why couldn't I be the one to be hurt?
Why you?
Why did I have to be your sole inflictor?

***

Sensual, explicit, extraordinary

FOREPLAY

Communication, touches, eye contact, spiritual pull.

Passion, Intimacy, ***

***.
The combination of raw, untamed energy,
Unsuccessfully molded into one.
Bursting with each arch
Burning with each grunt.

Heart thumping to each melody
Mind so white as bliss rockets out her body.

***
Caress your thighs,
Let me strum and create a band
drum and create a symphony
key and harness the harmony
Let me orchestrate your body while you sing for me.

***,
Let me whisper a Terza rima
“Do you want to be ******?”

Foreplay.
Grazing your thigh, looking away
Small subtle smile appearing.
Sneak peeks, blushing, lip biting.

HUNGER
There’s a hunger,
A craving for more.
Chest thumping, heart stumping

Slowly, I exhale
Deeper I go into this autumn forest
Lost and excited about this evening breeze.

“Touch me”, I whisper
As each part of you covers, marks what is within me.

Licks, bites... more!
Heavy breathing
Tongue twisting.

My voice wishes to be heard.
Unleash your inner beast,
Burn me
Warm me
I’m raging wet and cold!

Intimacy, Passion

Call out your soul,
Mine humbly and impatiently awaits,
Restrict your outer,
It’s time for your inner to shine.

Let me paint you with a colour of four,
With each stroke, call out your soul
Mine painfully awaits.

Sing to me
I’ll compose you a piece
One of meant for a goddess.

Before you reach your peak
Call out to my soul.
And fully feel me devour you.

***
Foreplay
Intimacy

Crave my passion
Want, need and be given
Come!
Explore the beauty of the pearl!

Glory! Hear the voices of the Queen

Embrace...
The warmth hidden and exposed,
The laughter and power within.

At long last! Hear the voice.

Allow her to take you to the land within, the soul without,
To the mythical energy that bonds you as one
As her vibrations bring you back to life.

Watch her.
As her soul floats into the universe
Dragging what is without in you to a place of serenity.
Listen to the sounds of what is your divine intervention.

Do not ask but feel,
This heave,
As your eyes burn red.

Embrace this sound as she has freed you.
Nubian voice!
At long last!

I run to the walls and ask for them to build around me,
My tear stained heart cries to be confined and protected.
My mind wanders and prays that walls be built around me.

Help me find solidarity in these corners, warm my broken self with your cool embrace.

My tear stained eyes cannot seek for what is not confinement.
It cannot look for anything brighter than the darkness the walls provide.
Protect me, engulf me and allow me to wallow and swallow this pain in your corner.

Close me off, for I have broken what was open.
Heal me and teach me not to find serenity in the voice of others.
Take me to eternal sleep for my heart is exhausted.

I have loved too much, I have broken more than my soul.
Deliver me from this pain.
Help me find solidarity in your corner and allow this mind to be free.

If numbness exists take me there, prepare my soul to be without. For where on Self can I find retribution?
For where in self is a manual on this?

For where on Self were there warning lights?

One day you will hold the greatest love for a toxic relationship.
Although I need to get us out of the mindset that a toxic relationship refers to a love interest.

Most times we resonate in a toxic environment due to family or friendships. And as much as we don’t want to believe that, as much as we don’t want accept such predicaments it’s true.

There exists people that were meant to be there at a specific time to help you realize something. And it happens to be that they weren’t meant to stay, so a cloud of darkness surrounds your relationship as they develop into their true self.

For that you will look for reasons to stay and blind your conscience in order to keep this relationship and it’ll tear you to bits.
Your mind will form assumptions that people change and this is because of outside influence, New squad pressure or the environment is forcing them to.

Frankly I don’t believe that people change, I believe that we develop into who we are meant to be, into our true selves. So I had to remind myself that I cannot come up with anymore excuses, I need to leave this toxicity and save myself.  I also had to remember that if neither of us walks out, we’ll be toxic to one another. I couldn’t bear to hurt myself by constantly holding you back.

If you ever feel bad from walking away from a toxic relationship. Trust me you not only saved yourself but you freed the other person to find their own saving.