She described me as Tom Buchanan. She immediately said that I wasn't violent like him, but that I could easily be him... I could easily show his side. I could be brutish and abusive and dishonest and an adulterer and greedy and pretentious. I could be all of those things so easily. It's as if a switch goes off in my brain that says, "Hey, let's be an ******* today." I don't want to be. I don't want to be seen as Tom Buchanan. I don't want to be the man who hurts so many and truly loves so few. I want to be so much more than that. I don't necessarily want to be like Daisy or Jordan or Myrtle or Nick or even like Gatsby himself. I want to be like myself. I want to be the girl that I'm meant to be and I know that I am not right now nor have I been for quite some time. I just want to be the woman God made me to be and I'm tired of being such a catastrophe in the making and for ruining and hurting those around me. I don't want to be that girl. I don't want to be like Tom Buchanan. I want to be me... The real me.
*...who am I?
Reading "The Great Gatsby" and I'm thinking about who I am compared to who I want to be/who I'm meant to be. People are quick to judge, yet they rarely take a true look at themselves. I'm tired of not looking and pretending it's all okay. Most of my actions haven't been okay. I guess I just think it's time to do some spring cleaning in my life, especially with myself.