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Sanjali Jun 2019
23
-The  X  X  Sea-

The deep blue sea
Calls to me
But how do I travel back?
These muddy waters
Won’t make me clean.

The deep blue sea
Weeps.
I only see it with closed eyes,
It knows the end
It’ll meet.

The deep blue sea
Just wants to be free
Like you
Like me.
Sanjali Jun 2019
22
-Gratitude Chain-
Once, I ignore it
I hope it’ll fade away.
Twice, I turn
Feels like a bitter taste.
Thrice, I walk.
I could never run anyway.

Keep calling my name.
Have no shame.
I walk like a prisoner
Bound in a gratitude chain.

Once, its cold
Freeze my blood, I pray.
Twice, a chill
I’m sure it’ll **** me any day.
Thrice, I walk.
Waiting for the day I’ll disobey.
Sanjali Apr 2019
21
IN NEED

To be in need of comfort
Is not that good of a feeling.
Existence of a lamb abandoned
With no warm place for dreaming,
And as the sun sets
It’s all in the head,
Breaking a feverish slumber,
There never seems to be any rest.

To be in need of empathy
Feels worse than not feeling at all.
Black sheep of the crowd
Yet no one glances when you fall,
And as the sun sets
The world is in the head,
Sleep is an unknown action,
Picking yourself up is the only end.
Sanjali Mar 2019
20
Believe, my little darling
In all your precious dreams
That are called silly
And make believe.

They’re the ones
That’ll keep you strong
And you need strength, little one,
To move on and on.

Who did ever say
That dreams are lies?
I’ll tell you true
This world isn’t right.

So my sweet little bird,
If you want to be free
Believe in your words
Believe in those dreams.
10.3.18
Sanjali Mar 2019
19
Could I translate this feeling to something
Other than hitting my hands on the wall?
I think it’s getting tired of gaining dents
And I’m tired of gaining nothing at all.

So could I paint out this feeling to something
Other than suffocating on fog?
I think my brain is tired of overthinking
And I’m tired of thinking I could change this at all.
Sanjali Feb 2019
18
-Surely Unsure-

Being unsure of where you are going,
But sure that this makes you better.
Being unsure of what you’re going to write,
But sure that a smile is worth your letter.
Being unsure of your own imperfect name,
But sure it sounds perfect on another’s lips.
Being unsure of your flying fuzzy hair,
But sure it glows golden on fingertips.
Being unsure of unexpected events,
But sure you’ll adore whatever else you see.
Being unsure of what love truly is,
But sure of knowing what it could be.
Sanjali Oct 2018
Little monster couldn’t walk quite right
Her legs ached and burned at times
The healer didn’t have a cure
And the ones at “home” said it’s nothing more

Than monster’s own creation because
She’s a wretched creature displaying loss,
Always a burden for the ones who care
And no more did they want to bear.

“Little monster, you filthy girl,
Leave the house and find some work.
You leech at our money, our love and care,
And then complain of pain everywhere.

You despicable monster, weak of mind,
what will you gain from studying time?
I wish you’d leave right now, but wait,
You’ll only ruin your family’s name.

We came together for your happiness,
You hateful thing, why do you make a mess?
“I’m in pain, I’m in pain” it’s nothing but a ploy
You little worm, with emotions you toy.

Leave, you *****, get off my mind,
You know no love, so how can you find
Pain in my words, you’re just a rock,
I wish you’d die, you ruinous block.”

Monster girl fled from those words
‘I’m alright’ she said till she was numb.
In this vast world she felt alone,
With trees she talked of finding more.

Her body ached as she fell to the ground
Watched the stars till it was cold around.
A piece of glass was what she could own
Without being a weight on other souls.

This jagged piece reflected the light
From the moon and thousand fireflies,
Little girl thought the world was so nice,
But alas, she was just a monster in night.

She heard from the house her father’s voice
As he talked about her as a screeching noise,
She rarely spoke and yet she was
The pain in the ears of the ones she loved.

I won’t cry anymore, she pledged,
Her room alone knew that she wept,
So often times she thought of hanging herself
But she wasn’t sure she could bear being out of breath.

And so it was she held a piece of glass,
Shimmering, it seemed like her freedom at last,
If only she was a human girl,
Pretty and lovable, she wouldn’t hurt.

Little monster girl smiled to herself
She wouldn’t cause pain to other selves,
The stars would remember that she had tried,
The sun would know she had no respite.

The glass glided over her soft dark skin,
Where only bruises marked her wrist thin,
Little drops of blood became more,
Little monster thought of happy lores.

“And they lived happily after” she mumbled quiet,
Her dark eyes closed to moonlight,
A firefly sat on her cold forehead
Thinking her to be a creature dead.

As the mist rose, she fell asleep,
The moon watched over her peaceful dreams.
As the moon’s lover rose
So did she,
To the worst nightmare that could ever be.
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