I can only imagine what it was like for you
Sitting at the foot of your bed
Scared for the welfare of us two
And you'd imagine
What sort of things I'd make her do
To support our habit
Did I sell her off, make her *******
There was nothing I could say
In your mind that was already the truth
I still remember the day when
You posted bail and said
"This isn't real love... because if it were
you wouldn't poke her skin
with a needle's *****
and fill her with poison!
This is ******* poison!
And you're killing her!
No, this isn't love... you're a ******* monster."
If you only knew how powerful that was.

I want you to imagine now
Just for a moment what it was like from our side
She was handed to me
I was given sole responsibility
But we'd never imagine this
That we'd resort to the things we'd do
To support our habit
Try to get a bag or two
And find the strength to sit up straight, at the foot of our bed
Scared for the welfare check
Was it coming in, or do we have skip dinner again
I know we made it look so easy, like we had it all together
But who wears long sleeves, in the middle of the summer
Just to hide our scars
Never staying long because we needed that needle in our arm
Behind those jail bars
In a physical manifestation
Of the prison hell that lived inside ourselves
Now we were under real investigation...
Can you imagine?
With the threat of jail, our mental hell, seeing her poke herself... fo(u)r hours
Crying out to me, "Baby, please?!
I can't get it, and my arms are so swollen!
Look at them bleed!"
So I was stuck with the ****** truth
Let her keep damaging herself... I know she'd get it eventually
But how many more hours until she felt
The needle slip into her vein...
Or I could step in and help
Quickly end her pain, I knew
The result would be the same
She'd get sooo HIIIGH
So I'd have to choose
I thought what I did was right
Well, I mean, it was the lesser evil of the two
If you only knew how powerful that was.

So, I'm sorry you couldn't sleep at night
But just imagine if you had to poke a needle
In the one you love
Just to make her...
Make her feel alright.

If you only knew, and not imagine, how powerful that was.

She is
new and terror, a wonder,
child all hunger.
She is
lost, decades past,
rediscovery, a father aghast to
rediscover her, new once again,
love overwhelming.
What could have been?

Oh, how strange the day
That casts a shadow on my grave
That I have dug in wickedness
Through the flesh I have praised

I've found the woe in all of this
Yet in darkness I bathe my bones
While I chain my neck to sins
I stubbornly refuse to turn against

Like a sweet apple from a tree
I lust for the succulent taste
Of a fleeting happiness of addiction
That grasps my veins like ******

I've bonded myself to all the lies
That I  have whispered to my soul
Each night as I stared into the stars
And drifted to the hell inside my mind

But in this place I found an angel
That defended the death I claimed
And I, like the vulnerable sheep
Drank the words of all she said

Like a glutinous fool I was quenched
Until the morning came again
And I woke upon the driest desert
My soul shriveled to nothingness

Yet I find somewhere within my spirit
To fight against every ounce of me
That keeps running to false desires
In hopes to find the freedom I yearn

I plead to be crippled from head to toe
To fall on my knees for eternity
Until I'm bruised and broken
And my heart can breathe again

When my lungs are filled with joy
That sings mellifluously throughout
And my eyes burn with passion
Ignited by the purest of light

And like an earthquake on land
May my spirit be shaken violently
Until the day I'm alive again
Where my mind will blossom

Like a field of flowers in the spring
Where the birds hum their beauty
And my thoughts are silenced
While my flesh dances like the bees


Oh, how beautiful this day will be
When winter is quelled by the sun
And every life is flourishing
In the Truth that we all had lost

Waking up at 3 am
Wondering why you woke up so soon
Was it a bad dream again?

Daydreaming at 3pm
What's on your mind?
Hopes that will always remain as hopes?

Staying up until 1 am
Wishing that he would be thinking of you
But has he ever thought of you as much as you thought of him?