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Die
pooki3pooki3 Jul 2015
Die
I want to die
At times like this
It's all too much
Make it go away

How can I survive?
Make it through
Don't care if I'm weak
All I feel is blue

Say it'll get better
Just gotta be brave
But liars burn
And I don't care to stay

I want to die
From moments like this
Moments that hurt me
Get under my skin
pooki3pooki3 Apr 2015
Do I want to talk about it?
Tell you what I try to hide
Open up, trust instead of lie
To you I'd reveal my deepest secrets
No hesitation
No doubt
I trust you unlike all the others
But still, do I want to talk?
So tired of my problems
My feelings
I've nothing left to say
But maybe I'm not just tired
Maybe it's something else
Something more
A fear of what may befall
Maybe it's you instead
The heartache
The longing
Can't talk because it's you I miss
pooki3pooki3 Apr 2015
Not gonna stop
Not gonna pause
Don't wanna think about where the dominos fall
'Cause thinking hurts
Constant heartache
Somehow I always come up short
So I'm gonna be reckless
Gonna be blind
Not care just to get by
Maybe it's selfish
Maybe it's wrong
But I'm tired of crying all night long
Can take the pain
Take the scars and the blame
But not the fear that always remains
So judge and accuse
Tell me I can make it through
Convince me of the so-called truth
But I'm not gonna stop
Not gonna pause
I'm not gonna care where the dominos fall
pooki3pooki3 Aug 2015
You say I'm never there for you
I'm distant, aloof
But honey I've never fallen so dangerously
As I have for you
I know your heart is covered in scars
And distance won't heal your wounds
But I never gave up on us
On what we could be
You're jaded and not sure we're worth
The frustration you feel
But I beg you not to say goodbye
When our love is far from it's end
Maybe I'm just scared we see things differently
That I invented what I wanted to see
But I've only felt the burn of heartbreak once before
And I'd sell my life away
On the faith that if you leave
I won't be the only one left with painful memories
Wondering how we ******* up what should have been
Forever
pooki3pooki3 Jul 2015
Barely eating
Won't admit to the hunger I feel
Tell you I already ate
That I'll buy some food later

Don't know what it is
Why it is
I'm not overweight
Don't hate being so skinny

Yet still I won't eat
My stomach so foreign to the concept
For although it's not my weight
I'm still delighted by the flatness of my skin
The fall of weight on those scales

I don't know the truth anymore
Can't make sense of the mess I'm in
Don't know if secrets are good or bad

I'm scared
You don't suspect a thing
Making it so easy to waste away

I feel sick at the smell of food
And I just want to run
Forwards, backwards, I can't tell

Barely eating
I never understood the real me
Never thought I could despise what my stomach so desperately needs
pooki3pooki3 Jul 2015
What do you do
When you've fallen in love
What do you do
When it becomes a game of cat and mouse
What do you do
When it's not black and white

What do you do
When love is a daily fight

'Cause I've fallen again
Thought I could get over you
But instead I burrowed deeper
Now I'm under your spell

But what use is it all
The feelings I feel
When at night I'm still crying
And wondering how we got here

Here to the balance
About to be tipped
Trying to survive
Even though we're about to explode

I see it in your eyes
Because we're both resisting
Fighting because how could this possibly work
Yet our resolves are weak
As you cradle me to your chest

What do I do
When I've fallen in love
What do I do
When it becomes a game of cat and mouse

What do I do

When it's not black and white

What do I do

When love is a daily fight
pooki3pooki3 Jul 2015
So I'm drowning and suffocating
And may not make it through
But I paint a smile for the world
You tell me to see the happiness
It's all okay
You tell me there's gotta be something positive
To make of it all
That's no lie, I can tell it's true
Trouble is, my mind doesn't care
Try what I do
But my mind ain't one to smile
Or yield with ease
So I know I'll be okay
Somehow see life through
But for now I'm simply smiling
Because no one loves an unhappy girl
pooki3pooki3 Jul 2015
Can't you tell?
I'm nothing more than a broken girl
I've got layers
Walls and cages to protect me
But when you look too closely
Past all the lies and deceit
It's blood and pain
A little girl huddled in shame
How can you miss it?
Be so blind?
I'm tired of lying, hiding it inside
Yet still I fool you
Don't even bat an eye
I'm not the master of mystery you paint me as
Why can't you see the truth?
I don't know how this happens
Me breaking without a sound
No one cares to notice
They let me hit the ground
If only you looked more closely
Into my eyes you'd see
Today I may be smiling
But broken I'll always be
pooki3pooki3 Apr 2015
Don't know what to do
How to make it
Instead of break inside
All falling apart
Nothing left but dry eyes
The tears won't drop
Stuck and confused
Yelled so you couldn't see the truth
Hurt you to keep you away from the demons
Now I don't know what to do
When it's me fighting alone
Unsure how not to rupture my soul

— The End —