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 Nov 2017 PeonyInTheEve
alex
i’m typing this
as i’m waiting for you to get back
from the bathroom.
in the starbucks
cozy acoustic music is playing
and your mocha frappucino
half empty
is on the table in front of me.
your lips have touched the lid
and i don’t want to be
that person
but i wonder.
i wonder how it feels
does it know that it’s lucky.
can it tell me its secrets
how does it do that?
get you to open up
and let inside the warmth?
i’m not jealous.
just curious.

you should be back any second now.
you might walk out
back to our cliche little table
and ask me
what i’m doing
what i’m typing so furiously
what i’m so passionate about.
i will want to say you.
i love you
right here right now right time right place
i won’t though

maybe i’ll say
“i forgot to finish this paper
that’s due at 11:59 tonight”
or maybe i’ll say
“i just got an urgent email
about my political science class tomorrow”
or maybe i’ll say
“an old elementary school friend
just sent me a Facebook message
and i need to reply”

or.
or maybe i’ll say
“nothing.
nothing more important than our coffee.”
maybe i’ll just close my laptop
mid-sentence
because it’s true.

nothing is more importa
k
 Nov 2017 PeonyInTheEve
M
Its been a while, since I french kissed the sun.
Let my tongue be the trigger, and your warmth be the gun.
Melt me down to the bone, praise my deepest scars.
Save each strange emotion, in my many shaded jars.
Paint my softened skin, and I'll paint yours too.
And I'll whisper outloud,
that
I've always loved you.
I may never say-but in the back of my mind, I have always wanted to.
Beloved,
In what other lives or lands
Have I known your lips
Your Hands
Your Laughter brave
Irreverent.
Those sweet excesses that
I do adore.
What surety is there
That we will meet again,
On other worlds some
Future time undated.
I defy my body's haste.
Without the promise
Of one more sweet encounter
I will not deign to die.
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my *******,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
 Mar 2017 PeonyInTheEve
eF
Salt.
 Mar 2017 PeonyInTheEve
eF
I never liked the ocean,
But lately I've grown a taste.
To the way the salt water,
Runs down my face.
Into my mouth,
Taking saliva's place.

I've grown to appreciate the ocean,
Though I haven't seen in it years.
But I feel as if I'm near,
Every time,
**I ******* tears.
Trying to write.
Keyword
Trying.
 Mar 2017 PeonyInTheEve
Ash Rose
If only we could run away
To a land where no one hurts.

How quickly I would go to stay
Unnoticed but never alone.
Real life isn't like the movies:
Too bad, I think to myself, the
Starry skies gazing down at me.

Love, the bittersweet enemy of mine,
Idolized and envied by the naive.
Keeping quiet, my heart screams with
Equal feelings of hate and anger.

How easy it is to see the impact
Everlasting, the way they tear down my
Life; yet without that hidden place to hide in, the
Land beneath our feet falls apart.
When I lose the light and glow
When I am left to lie low

When the sky moves to and fro
Pray do tell that you know

I stood alone
on mountains of marble

I faced the fact
that made me startle

When the mists are in my eyes
When it's time to say goodbyes

When death's rattle grasps my breath
When I face my final test

I pass on beyond the stars
On the trail of those that are

Do not fear death's paltry touch
for beyond it's pall lies a sacred trust
 Jan 2017 PeonyInTheEve
vea vents
I can feel you my sadness;

In the crevices of this spine;

In the clench of this body;

The continual stinging of my eyes.

I can feel you my sadness;

A back, bent forward;

Reluctant to life;

You weep of old memories;

Etched privately in recoil.

I can hear you now my child;

Every tear, every gesture,

Every whisper;

Every silence accumulated in stone.

My enclosed heart —

Know, you remain as memory;

A shadow overlapping each day and night.
It is liberating to realise that I do not need to be happy 100% all of the time, in order to appear well-adjusted, “mature”, or balanced to others. Ironically the very effort to be happy, makes me unhappy. I feel a greater sense of peace in allowing my sadness. Sadness that was once heaviness, dissipates into a lack of tension wherein I can feel deeper aspects of myself.
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