I was and am an after thought.
A languid sentinel sent by the Eastern Wind.
Let me tell you of spices and horse shoe accolades.
Exotic things that bend the mind.
The wheat grass is sweet..
Here, try this..
The great perimeter of perceptions break a second dawn in midday May.
Why are you running?
Freedom?
Fear?
Those nights on your back while white knuckling both sides of your bed hoping this time you don't float away become more and more frequent.
Well maybe for a reason!
The Wind is an esoteric whisper.
If you can bear to listen and tune to the shimmer shaking of space time making,
Perhaps it would bring new life to you...
Or, perhaps grandiose illusions..
Either way,
I once saw a prophet turn to paper profit.
*Magic tricks to be sure.

And you are the ocean aren't you?
This ceaseless undulation,
This orb of brine,
That floats in the speckless expanse of my other mind.
Your depths are unfathomable.
A planet of its own to explore.
What lovecraftian horrors do you hide?
What bio-luminescent wonders wander your depths?
Even in the darkest reaches, life pulses.
The transoceanic transmogrification that I partook in allowed me truth.
The salt ate my eyes, the wind burned my flesh, water choked my lungs.
Seagulls picked clean the remains but still I stood.
A ribcage still with breath.
No eyes to guide me,
No lies to see,
The ocean had drowned something already on the fringes of life.
As my bones marched a perceptionless place,
muscle soon formed around my frame.
Then skin,
Then eyes..
I found that I was whole and fresh.
Into still water I looked at myself anew and said
*"Hello."

Too much coffee or a bundle of nerves gone bad either way inside the confines of my lower intestine i hide the makings of interstellar war. nebulous hyperions hypothesize the comings of a gratuitus turbulant gravitational trebulation. The trumpets will sing im sure as i scream towards a silent night I am but a silent sight.
Wait.
I think im just nervous. Get this, its worse and, im trying but its.. Ya never know where friends stand aint done much for them been a long time since I found a new storm to set up in. lightning rods making neurons here we are,
i am a social *****.

The bubbling bravado of new hopes to swaddle are dopped and crushed. the fontenal of my chitinus exterior is pressed and my fear is here to be pulled out and dangled in my face it feels shameful.
Words pass the throat and are shreded by smoke stained teeth and i think if i fumble enough my bumbling lips may stitch the sentence back up and i might just make sense.

My hands are shaking again
My heart is racing and then
My mind races and bends
Anxiety is the buzzing bashful brother of exitment and bravado
Lashes out in spazzy gestures
And sends my head space on a trip to burning pastures
Bragadosious i am not
Bed ridden sad sappy ******
Pent up and
Woah
My thoughts derail again
Where the hell are my friends
They didnt go anywhere
Its all in my head

Twitchy turbulance tackling full force into tubluar pathways my blood
Is
Screaming

Saturated in steely blue clutches, sweating from the 75 degree Georgia night
strung up and washed out with a serpent woman that keeps bringing on the blight
Singing you a song of bliss and blinders.

A big brick red boot on your neck and a green collar that reads The Gardens *****
The Garden takes the taxes tightens up the lead and never relaxes
Hit ya where ya like, the pain is disguised, leather tastes like candy, The Gardens got ya hypnotized.
Your late night camping sight attracts the moon light parasite, that acolyte of appetite, Tonight your the Gardens Delight

You wanna run but she's got those hooks between your shoulder blades feeling like an inexorable **** of silk, smoke and skin.
She gives you every thing you need,
Fountain heads of intemperance and black out nights
Whole streets smelling like grease and charcoal charbroils
Men and women of dexterous lechery, feverous severance, and generous deference
Crystals for your cranium, high altitude dives and the lowest lows.
A cacophony of any entertainment you might want or need, just as long as its seedy.

The Garden keeps blinders on your head to make sure you can't see anything she doesn't want you to.
Try to remove em and the punishment is usually severe.
She might give you the greatest loves you've ever known and turn em to photographs, blot em with LSD and trip you out on memories.
And when you come back to what you think reality is she'll take those photographs and burn em up right in your face and leave you asking if any of it really happened while feeling like it was the realest thing that ever has.
She'll break you and build you up, build you up and break you worse. A cycle of bad things feeling real good.

The Garden will do everything in her power to keep you right here.

But if you can get all those straps and tight leather off, all those hooks and chains.. If you can escape her steely blue clutches,,

You'll finally see how wrong you've been done, and your still gonna want her back in some strange way..
but you might start to heal....
But know this.
No matter where you might run off to,
You'll still be hearing The Garden City call.
That siren song of bliss and blinders.

The night was washed out in a errie blue grey. The moon made the beat for me a bit less anxious.. This part of the city aint never been kind. Taking a long drag from a stale ciggarette i thought about the dective boss man introduced me too at the bar. A Robert Cobalt. A steely dispostion and eyes that cut through in a way that didnt make total sense. He told me about a  lead. Riches and adventure await if I'd just put aside some morals and go with it he said. Diamonds.. Always been attracted to the worthless things, theyre just rocks but I bet a fist full of em.would make any man feel like a god. The light turned green and I wondered what would make a man get all twisted up and go after such a thing. Turning a corner towards 8th street I looked out my passanger window and saw something not too out of the ordinary on this side, a man approaching a women, knife in hand and a gait that meant bussiness. I turned on my lights and told the sunnuvabitch to stop where he was, guess the man was desperate cause he ran full force towards the women, after her bag id guess. Reflex and training set in and i went through the motions, the whole time thinking theres no way i could be fast enough to stop this. What i sae next surprised the hell outta me. Calm as could be, right before the man got to her and right as i was stepping out of the car she threw an elbow right into the mans chest. He doubled over, caught of guard by the heavy blow. She grabbed the back of his head by his hair pulled him up straight and flat laid him out with a well placed blow to the jaw. Subsequenctially my jaw hit the floor. I walked towards her slowly, the threat neutralized. She stood calmly and lit her self a smoke. She told me her name was Tessa. Tessa rosiere. A privite invistagator. I guess i looked more shaken than she did as she offered me a ciggarette. I stood there for maybe a bit too long without saying anything and the man started to groan and stir. I asked what she was doing out here this late already knowing the answer. Following a lead she says.. Before i can ask more theres a bright flash a strange smell and a dull pain. I look down and my stomachs leaking blood. Cant remember much after that. No idea who had shot me but waking up in the hospital on the east end was surprise. Still alive i guess. The sterile scent of the room made me feel like.running and the sight of all the tubes sent my heart faster than it needed to be. Shot in gut. Either by tessa or by that ***.. Maybe even some one else who knows. Still alive though.. Oddly the tgought of diamons crept into my scattered brain. The idea seemed more than appealing now.  No more late beats in a bad part of town. No more getting shot,  no more having to work. Just a fist full of diamonds and the freedom.to do as i wanted. My last groggy thought as the flourecnest lights blurred was of Cobalt.. I'd find the *******. And see what he had to say
.sleep took me like a riptide.

It wasn't long after when I got out of the hospital. The doctor gave me all kinds of prescriptions but I knew the only medicine i needed was waiting for me in a smokey room full of tired souls. A double on the rocks. I walked into the run down pub and the smell of cigars and whiskey welcomed me like a hug from my father. Only not as warm. "Double on the rocks. Keep me comin til I leave." I said. Muddy Waters was painting the whole place blue. "That's not gonna help you heal, jewels.." A voice said behind me. I turned around and it was special agent Heller and her trainee Agent Ronen. They had sweet faces but you'd be a lucky man to not be on their bad side. Heller blew smoke in my face with a smile. I guess that's as close as I'll get to a "welcome back". We sat and talked for a while while Ronen looked at her phone. She wasn't into conversation much. Once we were all sure we had one too many, we were ready to call it a night until Ronen got a call. "****. Don't pack it in just yet." Heller scoffed "I'll be ****** if I'm gonna go wipe some rookies nose this late at night." Ronen looked at her boss sternly. "You're gonna wanna see with one. It's not rookie this time. Murphy Pendleton just kicked the door in on a **** lab on 92nd street". Pendleton. That crazy *******. Hearing his name ****** me off. "You guys can go handle that ******* on your own. I'm not..." "No. You're coming. I saw your badge and Gun. You might as well be on the clock Jewels. Let's get down there before he scares off the camera crews again. It's gonna be a long night." Heller said putting out her cigarette in my drink. She was right. No one ever wants to walk in on a crime scene if Pendleton is involved. Chief Cobalts been after that ******* badge for years. But ******* does he get the job done. Tip the bartender, grab the coats. Time to see what fresh hell was waiting for us. Before we left, I put Tom Waits on the jukebox...

I don't even hear the sirens anymore. We all got in Hellers squad car and headed to the crime scene. I see the lights flashing from the roof of the car. But the sirens might as well be the sound of a car passing or a telephone ringing. When you hear something everyday, it just fades away. Heller and Ronen sat up front and I was in the back. I had forgotten how cramped it was back there. It took me back to when I was a stupid kid. Back when I was afraid of those same lights and same sirens. Back when i still saw people passing by, not just potential criminals. We pulled up to the crime scene and the press was everywhere. The whole front of the building was taped off. "Well at least there aren't any bodies in the street this time. Looks like Pendleton could be getting soft on us." I saw Ronen let a smile slip across her face. I couldn't help but laugh. We all know Pendleton's rep. I guess you gotta have a dark sense of humor for this ****. One of the rookies I liked was holding the line. "Ventus. What are we looking at?" I asked while lighting up a cig. Ventus looked down at her feet. "It's not good. He really just......it's not good." She said in a tired low tone. Heller put a hand on her shoulder. "Go home Tera. We can handle this. Jewels. You go on ahead with Ronen." Heller said. We walked under the tape and towards the scene. The door to the small shop was handing off the hinges. Bullet holes in the glass. Blood on the floor. The red trail led us to the back room. One. Two. Three. Four. Four dead bodies. Blood on the walls. And in the cleaning supply closet on the back wall off this moldy dreary **** lab sat Pendleton on a over turned bucket. He still had his pistol in his hand. "Ronen. I'm gonna..." I started. "Psh. You don't gotta tell me twice." She said before exiting back to the front of the store. A shoe shop with a **** lab in the back. That's a new one. I started towards Pendleton. It was hardly a graceful entrance on account of having to dance around dead bodies. About 3 feet from Pendleton is where I noticed, the man wasn't shaking. He was just sitting. "Pendleton. What the **** are you doing? What happened here?" I barked. "Got a lead on this lab and came to investigate. As soon as they saw me, the pulled their guns. I didn't wanna get left out so I pulled mine. The 2 up front ran to the back. Caught the tall one in the shoulder. Reloaded and came back here. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom." He said. Calm and collected. "There's only 2 guns on the floor. The other two, why are they dead?" I asked. "**** Jewels. Maybe after I dropped the two with guns, the other 2 picked them up. Maybe I did what I had to. And maybe I'm not in the mood for all YOUR ****** QUESTIONS." He yelled looking up at me. His teeth showing like a mad dog. His gun was still in his hand. "Get your **** together Pendleton. This isn't the time or place for your ****. And put your ****** gun up. The cameras are right outside." I said quietly. Pendleton was a loose canon. And I made it known I hated his guts. But hey, you can't choose who you work with. "What's the matter with you? Normally you woulda left by now. Why are you sticking around for this one?" I asked looking around the room. Pendleton reached in his pocket and pulled something out. "I pulled the IDs on all these guys." He said handing me for drivers licenses. "Jacob Wrens, Joseph Brown, Tanner Wilcocks and David........Cobalt..." I read to myself. I darted my eyes at him. His face was dead. His eyes were grey. "Murphy.....are you telling me......one of these kids is the chiefs son?" I said slowly. He looked down at the floor, opened his mouth and said ".....was"

Someone stitch bells onto my body.
So ya'll can hear me coming.
That..one..two..one..two
Those who live for loving
I know how you carry
That..one..two..one..two
If your heart looks like mine
A honeycomb home for lovers once known
How that pain in your chest starts to feel like ow~
How home is a person never once was a place
How ya suffer on but still bright with love on your face
and ya carry on
That..one..two..one..two..
If ya feet look like mine
Blistered up from that long walk
That..one..two..one..two
If ya tear skies into roadmaps
A sunrise is just somewhere new
That..one..two..one..two
Well I know how it is
How whiskey starts tasting like a best friend
How ya throw up the blues and wish for a quick end
How ya get up with blood and ice in your eyes
How ya look up and throw a bird to the sky
like *******
That..one..two..one..two.
Get on with it. Keep on keepin' on
Hold close; hold tight whats yours
even for a night
You gotta love the light
Cause around the next bend
The past tells you Darkness ahead
So hold tight.
Love what you got right now
Cause pretty soon
Its gonna be
that..one..two..one..two..

I left tomorrow yesterday
I saw myself in the door was open

Stella froze the east coast just as I made for leaving
I was burned by the same name and now shocked to slowing


Everyone has a right to their wrongs
You wanna say something but sometimes
Just let it lay.

The feelings of loneliness where words are all you have gripping your phone in your left hand because your right feels wrong like maybe the wall punch was not much like maybe the last lie was too much. The face you saw already a memory post op perfect colors and emory embroidered by the good times the truth gets stitched in behind.
Gingivitis is meet with ginger two part ***** cigarette than three more why take care if your spitting blood but it doesn't hurt why bother setting up the future when you already know its coming to a screeching halt what a ****** up romanticism Dorian Grey nothing left but play. Everything I ever tried I was good but at **** that see the world die young thats why I try only reason why I try anything. All steps to just drop it and take one.

I left yesterday to tomorrow

It ******* ***** when theres a brain buzz and its just words all fuzz no coherency no story just a flowing ******* leaking brain grey matter turned chromatic  in the sense of no sense color wheel ****** up no complimentary matches complimentary, complimentary? It's free with your purchase, italic smooth bold this was told points in a parfait  I feel better feeling this way oh hey coffee house drama non sense non sense non sense make sense
big mouth super sayan saying nothing important just words of calloused over used broken down 92' classic

I left tomorrow to yesterday.

pompaloose I'm feeling loose like dancing with this pre-made noose I'm hanging there I'm hanging there my tongue is hanging on the stagnated air. Stagnated? Deer horns air horns air burns skin goes shiver here take a sliver, its complimentary
Love is the air, air is the lungs everything that comes with that just like bugs come with the hugs, put on it repeat let the moment steep try to understand exactly what you can, your not very smart surgery on art
pull it all apart now ya ****** it up made it ugly with the cuts.
Hang on. Back to love.
Love is in the air, air is the lungs, the brain is starved of oxygen you start to speak in tongues.
Nothings making sense your running for the fence you get over there she is as you start to **** your pants
Metaphorically

This is all just tired sleepy randomly generated subconscious whispering ******* words that flow without thought little time for a litter of words don't ***** the pooch redrink the *****

Why write craft crack no point

buzzy fuzzy brain that just won't slow down making up making progress feels like a fire thats running down my spine. I'm still standing in line! Could walk out the door at any moment gotta go but I don't why not dont know or maybe I do so hey subconscious whats going on man talk to me get the words out your in control aren't  you why do you only whisper sub concise not so accurate or trusting get out get out get up get out.

Ah hell.

guess its over.
This one anyways.

I remember fondly,
breathing fire with you,
your soul whispered softly
resonant red tunes.
Your depths had me drowning,
in deep briny blues.
Salt burned my eyes,
I was lost in you.

You told me you had to go.
You had your bait, you got your kicks.
The line was cut loose, the tide ripped me back
Smashed on the rocks,
hooks still in my back.

You deep sea monster,
I was entranced by your light,
I missed your teeth.

You siren, you sea witch,
You lovecraftian horror.

You got what you needed,
The gulls got the remains.

Yet here now I stand,
Stripped of my flesh.
Bones moved by the wind
My ribcage still with breath.
So I built me a tower
Fishbones and stench

To stand on your shore,
White as the moon
To stand on your shore
To watch over you
Because despite all of this.

I'm still in love with you.

Heavy foot steps and lead laeden words.
Trying to create sense of this emergancy of birds.
Predators hiding lurking in the laminate
sealed in with a kiss the layers are feeling permanant.
Clear obsidion mixed with volcanic ash.
Crushing down on me, im gasping for breath.
Shaking like a mountain just before the eruption
trying to remove myself from this plastic corruption.
Daisies die in feilds..
Deers burn as the air horns call out the catastrophy.

You all need to run from me.

Silence in my self, I am no longer seeking
i need to break free and sing just as birds sing.
Calling out the warning; shaking up the evergreens.
its all interconnected.
Hyperspatail turbulance im screaming in my bed
im worried
im afraid
im trying
its working
i think that the plastic might just be burning
the toxic
the posion
its all gassing off from me
dont breath me
i feel like its something.


I could just be werid. Relaxing in turbines, i think im just trying and poems lead to calm minds.

Make sense of me. Make sense of you.
And you.
And you.
Im caought up in the subterfuge.  Capracioisly grapsing
for what im not sure.

Cattawompus canyons are cut into my heart. Im so confused information on piecharts
, the values dont match
the legend is misleading.
God seems to be warrenting this healing.
Kicking in the door
creating a dizzy storm.
Cyclopeon rage
stolen from days of yore..

Its time to let go.
Its time to grow.

Just understand me . just for a breif moment. I am harmless. I am less. I am lost. I need rest..

A bunch more words too honest too painful. I write poems to unleash all that is shameful.

This hurts.

This is needed.

I am bleeding.

Just so I am.

Just living.

Just leaving.

Just kidding.

Just bidding.

Betting.
On when its all ganna explode.
On when the subroutiunes will need a defrag machine when the bios gets corrupted when the system wears down when i will stand in the light looking like a ******* clown.
Because i trusted.

Why is this so hard?
I am 24 years old and cant drive a mother ******* car.
Fear is a disease that i can not squah on my own
a whole battallion of star ships need to warp into my home and disrupt the radio frequencies that speak to me
in dreams the nightmares unending the face grips and rending my cheek bones are tensing my teeth are condensing milkbones and raw tones

This excitment inside me
burns out the live feed
darkness envolopes mailed sent by trumpet
these echos of my thoughts
repeat the words taought
like liar and loser you dumb ******* ****** acomplish not nothing but your something is ******* just so god ****** worthless they all wait for your face to turn to a frowning grimice of you drowning you floundering ****** you sociatial ****** you cautious cat crawling as dogs get the tasties of life while your wasting your time just complainging this echo echo chamber needs to be ******* obliterated. A star dust deconstruction and rebuilding of the most primitive functions.

Take me from my own head.
I made my bed.
Id lie in it. But. Its made of my own meat and guts.

Friends
.. I need your ******* help.

Just.
Be you. Perfect.

I trust you. Despite what these echos say bouncing in my brain.

Just.

This is too much.

Just.

I think im just werid..

Just.

Please dont run.

I feel so mac and cheesy
Smokin ciggarettes and wheezy
I forget that im a werido
I **** the flow.
Well
Oh come on
yes i know
that i disurpt everybodies flow
walk in a room talk a bit
and try to find a place to sit
Awkward and shaking all my leaves stirring up the honey bees i feel my tounge is being stung
That was an awkward hug..
****
But give me a skateboard and a hill ill bounce to music and just chill
Wave my arms i ride the waves
Gravity pullin my way
the wind it flows in funny ways
I feel at peace.
Hit the bottom silde and stop
Awkward stuff it catches up.

My mind is a dumb dolomancer dancing along hypotenuse avoiding the 90 cause the long way around has neato little sideshows distracting from the problem that A plus B might equal C but ya need the square.  A nice tight fit uniform to make out that right angle. I am imaginary numbers.

My brain is a buzzy fuzzy ******* chaos crashing lashing vestibules at the fringes of cathdreals self imposed upon the walls scribble muddle tuddling funnels skating elating trying to get this and all any of all to make sense. Idosyncracies is all i am composed of as i compost tangents into piles of 25 combonation summurize the total sum of more ****** tons of love covered ****

The pots spinning centifrugal mixing the frugal.
unicorn horn exposed and raw vibrations painful magic casting shamful spells to massivly masochistic split up shelves organized in arms legs and brains. jars of letters jars of get better tools and drills to dull the silence, blood rushing ears crushing pressuring waves caressing lessons of other rappers listening listening lisntening loading up vocabulary cant **** canaries ******* hell here it goes again brain flow wild hell bells crashing colliding collapsing pillars supporting the sub laminate mantles buildings built cracking the crust devils in a pretty suits slitting throats of these ***** holy ******* hell i cant ..
Im possessed
.

Whirring spinning constantly working flinging rando retarding  constable to beat the **** out of my  medulla oblongata Oh my god i gatta get it all on paper before the pressure overloads and blows my ******* brains out my ears

It started with an S. Humbly mumbling yes no maybe i dont know oh **** vertigo should i let go. my brain was blasted, a cocktail of chemicals and superfluidious ether. The push pull ying yang fung shui grabs the heat seeking missle and grabs the brain, attracts sychronized vertacies but the magnitism flips as imaginary consequence givesway to repulsion of the imaginary sense. Pulsars pulsating sending shock waves through space time highways a terrible silence is heard then music then woah. Gravity wells staring me down warping and warming WARNING particle collision is immenent a stellar nurersy might be born of this hyperspace supernova scintilating energies might synchronize for the bonding of bodies creating a binary star system carefully dancing and explosivly romancing or it could be too much the system overloads entropy wins hot matter turned cold a black hole is formed.

Complicated intracacies to be sure. I think a caphonany was born if only i could phrophasize and figure out where my head flipped out and if there would be any imminent fallout. Wise to withhold or a missed chance to experience an amazing incredible moment where time and space may have seperated and two bodies joined in between the seams. Just amazing.

A nuetron star born in a silent room for a breif moment. A cascading caphoney cracked and cratered my cranium in a moment of concious exhileration. Dumb struck and reeling as i found my self in the malestrom of a magnificant multichromatic  multiverse.  Touching to touch what crazy subconcious thing have you seeded into my mind.

It started with an S. Humbly mumbling yes no maybe i dont know oh **** vertigo should i let go. my brain was blasted, a cocktail of chemicals and superfluidious ether. The push pull ying yang fung shui grabs the heat seeking missle and grabs the brain, attracts sychronized vertacies but the magnitism flips as imaginary consequence givesway to repulsion of the imaginary sense. Pulsars pulsating sending shock waves through space time highways a terrible silence is heard then music then woah. Gravity wells staring me down warping and warming WARNING particle collision is immenent a stellar nurersy might be born of this hyperspace supernova scintiling energies might synchronize for the bonding of bodies creating a binary star system carefully dancing and explosivly romancing or it could be too much the system overloads entropy wins hot matter turned cold a black hole is formed.

Complicated intracacies to be sure. I think a caphonany was born if only i could phrophasize and figure out where my head flipped out and if there would be any immient fallout. Wise to withhold or a missed chance to experience an amazing incredible moment where time and space may have seperated and two bodies joined in between the seams. Just amazing.

As a writer i ruminate over points of time to the point of an obbsessive compulsionary mentality constantly reliving just to get the words right

Putting points of hightend emotion on the subconcious back burner to boil over.

One could say im a funky ****** performing felattio on personafied moments of time.

Writing writing writhing tourterous tools of the blood brain membrane a superfludious soup of runtilated memories key points to track down crack open geonuggets pressure cook it change it shape it cut it craft it
Christ.
My brain is blasted.

Stagnation dances in puddles sloshing seeping cementing my shoes and soaked socked feet to the black gritty glittery asphalt,
Oh yeah girl check it out
I say i read alot but i read into you and read into your eyers glitter shimmer shake nonsense sometimes grabs sense, sense it out since you have since you was young writing rapping takes for ever, flow.
Im a fish gasping for O2 siphon from the viscous shallows of this circular neighborhood roots dug in deep been here so long they bust up the street. Can you let me in? As much as i scream with looks desperate for a bit of touch, no not like that, just a hug

Beats hit hard the train of thought hits harder ink boils over soul possessed become a bleeding ulcer paralyzed waiting to die, constant, twitching, running, running, you cant stop its inside your guts twist up butterflies feesing on your secerets and in your sin your insides burning acid leaking out always obsessing the obsessive tendencies drugs and *** love and lust pain and ****
Fast and last words are prayers magic incantations that draw out the darkness and removes it pushes it to paper black ink is best bleeding im bleeding every word is a painful movement twitching spaztic manic illusions casting out shadows that dance when the moons lit.

I saw ya in the ICU
With Tubes in yer vains
The pillars of heaven shook
Callin your name

My foundation was blasted
With unspeakable rage
How could you do this
Ya passed on your pain

So bury my head in the mountains
Dont wanna see this place no more
You found peace on a crescent
I found you in the moruge

Now this storms here to greet me
Back from the northren blues i am
This south Georgia city
Aint been kind to this midwestren man

So give me a fist full of lightning
Put my fire in my hair
You hung yourself on a crescent
Pretty soon Ill see ya there.

My hands are shaking again
My heart is racing and then
My mind races and bends
Anxiety is the buzzing bashful brother of exitment and bravado
Lashes out in spazzy gestures
And sends my head space on a trip to burning pastures
Bragadosious i am not
Bed ridden sad sappy ******
Pent up and
Woah
My thoughts derail again
Where the hell are my friends
They didnt go anywhere
Its all in my head

Twitchy turbulance tackling full force into tubluar pathways my blood
Is
Screaming

And you...
You always show up in my dreams.
I can see your light dancing,
Glowing underneath.

Conversations shared in space
I think im astral projecting
You feel real when im asleep

I always snap awake,
Groggy and meloncholy
I Left the window cracked again
Cold air is creeping on my skin

And I
Hate its getting colder
And I
Know novembers closer
Hold on
The turbulance is growing
Nostilgia
tastes bitter when its snowing.

You are a phantom now and tables have turned.
This haunting winter air makes me lose my nerve.
I carry on till i can crawl into my bed
Fall asleep,
Hope i can see you again.

Your voice feels like cardiac arrest
System shock; overload

Your words grab me by the shirt
Lifts me up; magic force

Youre always there through the worst
In my dreams; i strain to hear
I listen out..
November hangs me again

30 days of hell

Im tied to the gray in these skies
Chains made of remembrance
Solitude is what i find.

The worst always comes
with the cold
Please show up..
Melt this world

Jubilating jiggilies bounce around like jelly beans
candy flavored fluorine flows around bubbling chemistry
and chemistry makes mostly me neurons fire excite the knees
shake around and do a dance
cannon fire no romance.

I've asked myself often,
Why am I here? Whats my purpose?
And in moments of madness when the rising sun is mine and I alone can grasp the clouds and shape the light.
In those groggy half-steps off a bus in Somewhere, America, where the stars grip the horizon and the incandescent glow of a sleeping city bleeds into the twilight,
I always find my answer.

I am here,
To ride until I am passed out on strange shoulders as tired and tense as my own.
To be rained out and washed up against gas station sanctuaries.
To be a friendly face to those who know only a few in this sea of tight lips and laser focused eyes.

I am here,
To tear cotton candy skies into road maps to there.
To pull light into the darkness and turn these chains into prisms that splash color into the void.
To rip out stitches just to see the blood because there is no beauty without pain and perception is everything.

I am here..
To find the small things.
To indulge in a microcosm of bliss.
A fresh sandwich on the highway.
Five dollars passed from a strangers hand.
A cadillac cigarette.
The whispering of trees,
Distant rolling thunder.

The road owns my soul and a devil has possessed my feet.
I am here to cast my own blend of fire into the world.
I am here,
To wander.

I'm ganna rip out my ribs,
and wear as wings
Dead leaves for feathers,
and strung up on strings.

My heads in the clouds,
My boots in the dirt.
I'm stretched thin,
I'm ganna fall an' meet the earth.

And I can't breath
I can't breath
I'm ganna fly.

Now those old robins,
ain't they just like me?
Red chest plumage,
and waitin' for spring.

So I'll shoot through,
that electric blue.
Chest wide open
and bleedin' on you.

*And I can't breath.
I can't breath.
I'm ganna fly.

My shoes are still wet from this mornin'
From when I left you standin' in the rain.
You told me to never show my face again,
Well it's a shame that I can't change.

If I could I'd take me a scalpel,
I'd carve my face anew,
But chances are you'd still know me,
By the mud on my shoes.

I know I was born to love,
But that right now's a curse.
For a devil possessed my feet,
It makes me wander Gods green Earth.

Only one way you could keep me 'round,
cut em' off; let my soul spill on the floor.
You could sweep it up into a jar
and hold me as I grow cold.

But we both know I'm better as a memory,
So turn your back and let me go.
Just keep a piece of me in your pocket,
So you remember that I'm not a ghost.

So while my bones shake up on this mountain,
It's yours that I'd rather hold.
So I'll take your rib cage with me,
To feel the echos of your warmth.

And I know that made you hollow,
I'm so **** sorry for what I've done.
I'll chew the calluses off my fingers,
So this song won't never be sung.

The media is givin half baked truths and bold faced lies
The children of Israel are terrified of blue skies.
The whole U.S. weeps when one war-hero dies,
How bout a half-mast for the kids we feed to flies.  

Everyone posting bout' equal rights and peace and love,
Did you forget your i-phone 6 was made with blood?
There's a dragon in China and it's forcing slave labor,
With wings made of nets and teeth made of paper.

You're ganna ask me why I'm mad?
Just stop and look around,
The USA is now the NSA
One nation under bigotry
United under hate.

Rage and rage inside my mind.
This ugly thing inside my head,
Black as crow and apple red,
Grows and spreads like mold on bread.
Rage and rage inside my mind.
It smells of rot and lack of care,
But in the mirror; breath of air.
I must be real, I'm standing there.
Rage and rage inside my mind.
Guilty, puncture; made of blood.
My song is this, too often sung.
My strand of fate was never strung.
Rage and rage inside my mind.

He awoke with a start, the weight of a restless night leaving him suddenly as it was the stench that hit him first. He shot up in bed, still covered from the sweat of his nightmares, and began dry heaving. The thick odor assaulted his senses, causing his eyes to water and his nose to snot. It smelled of decay and death. The strong sickly sweet scent of lilac mixed in as though to try and perfume the foul smell.
It was too much and he vomited onto his dusty wooden floor. Wild fear then took him. He knew what this was and had smelled it before many times. **** the Gods, he thought, He never thought it would be him. He stumbled out of bed and half-ran, half-fell through his small shack. His constitutions wavering, he threw open the heavy pine door and looked to his feet. He found that could not scream as fear tightened around his throat and his blood ran as cold as the Nordic Winds.
The black charred bones of an infant elk lie at his door step. Frayed and rotting twine held the thing together haphazardly and he could feel the Evil surging from the remains.
He had been Chosen.  
He grabbed at the banister, white knuckling the railing, and bent over double once again purging himself out of fear.
With bleary eyes he stared down the road at the plot of scorched earth that marked the remains of the last house that found The Mark at it's door..
This would be his last days on this Plain as a man

He sat next to the Mark and sobbed. Great tears rolled down his face as he thought of all he was about to leave behind. As the Day broke he watched his last sunrise. He muttered his thanks to The Gods, however grim the morning was, it was glorious sight. Just the other day the sun had been met with Falls overcast skies, promising evening storms. Today, however, the sun broke through great white clouds. Brilliant rays of light charging the sky with its intense morning golds and blues.
The light stretched across the forest town of Wilds Watch. Creeping up the dirt roads and casting long shadows from the various wooden and clay structures. Morning dew began to steam from the thatch roofs and tall grasses leaving a gentle fog on the town. The forest in the distant seemed more ominous than ever.
As he thought about the horrors he would soon face doors began to open as the suns light reached out and through the windows of the weathered houses. The people knew what this morning brought. "It" had come ti claim another sacrifice. The unspeakable horror only took strong, youthful men, the rumor being that It needed them to add to It's unholy keep as The Walking Dead. They wore masks with lemon grass, flowers and pine needles stuffed inside and poking through the edges. The unholy stench of The Mark crept far from his house and would linger into the sobering weeks to come.
Their eyes held pity and sorrow. He knew they also breathed a sigh of relief from the scented masks as they had avoided It's Mark for another year.
"So, I am doomed to join the Walking Dead." he thought aloud with spiteful and ragged breath.

I need some holy water
Holy god I'm feelin' dead,
I'm thirsty for some water
But I'll drink coke instead.

**** all the grass,
Keep your flowers in boxes.
You makes jokes about death
You breath in more toxins.

Windy days and *** head haze
Push kick rhythms an' trails to blaze.
Gangrene fingers and rusty old strings
Rusty old souls and rotten new wings.  

On the corner with nothing but truth in your pocket
Screamin' bout the lost lovers in their lost gold lockets
How about that, a louder song than before,
Silent storms
You want more.

So **** your gods and drink your coke, grow your flowers and smoke your smokes. Get high and skate, go somewhere new.  Play that old song and make it you. Get angry, get ****** about who and how you lost. Let the new song scream and wash off the moss. Go wander for a bit and clean your soul. Let it be known that you are not life's *****.

**** it up **** it up **** it up **** it up.
Trust your gut kid and **** it up.
So you see its wrong and you sit in silence?
Young boy your silence is violence.
So you post on your ******* wall.
About how you care about us all
About how you're tired of all this ****.
Yet you still sit there.
Doing nothing.
Face lit up by your prisoner screen.
Feelings high from the thumbs it brings.

You are as guilty as the fat cats that **** for pleasure.
You are as guilty as the crooks that created leisure.

In  your silence and false sense of self worth,
You let them continue to burn and destroy.

**** it up.
Get off the computer.
Go outside,
Bother your neighbors,
Graffiti the walls,
Film the police,
Grow some **** *****.
Break some **** windows,
**** with the banks
Let them know that you will not take,
This **** lying down.


**** it up **** it up **** it up **** it up.
Trust your gut.

I thought i was in a good mood.

Turns out i'm just manic.

At least it's something.

Something to hold onto.

It always turns dark though.

Like a cold star.

Or another contradictory thing I can't be bothered with coming up with.

Dark Waves Cascade out from my center.
My heart shakes and groans,
my gut twists in discontent.
My mind races.

Dark waves radiate from me.
I am the epicenter of a room full of malice.
Infecting,
Changing

Why bother with, uh..

S'whats the point?

My brain is over heating.
I think my head  might ******* pop.
When I lean out this window,
My torso wants to drop.
I know I going crazy,
So why won't it stop?

They say normality is overrated, but **** that man my head is ******* hating

this.

and these.

and those.

Moments were the conversations are fluid, out a mouth and into  heads.
It's intimate.

I am a thief, taking up all those words and not giving anything back. Not twisting them into new ideas, just locking them down to think about later.


So I sit there and when i try broken fractals just kinda fall out of my face. Onto the floor. Viewed as unclean and unwanted by the words already floating around.


Normality seems nice. It seems soft and comforting. Like you can belong anywhere.

Instead of having to search so ******* hard for a niche you can fit in. Not just fit, but fall in.

So how should I end this?
Theres probably a way, but, once again,

Fractals.

Theres something in your eyes,
I can't explain it.
I think something you died.
Do you feel unwanted?
Just have another smoke,
It'll make you feel better.
You'll be part of the crowd.
At least for a while.

Ignore the gray skies,
It's a fleeting moment.
Go out for a walk,
your bones are thirsty.
So your drowning in yourself again.
I don't know how you stay afloat,
As hollow as you are,
I know you feel heavy.

I'd say it gets worse before it gets better,
but I know better.
It's ganna stay bad.
So I don't wanna live for long,
Go ahead and keep your Gods,
I'm alright with just fading.

I  had a dream,
The Moon enveloped the sky,
Watching me close,
Like a Celestial eye.

Oh a wisp of white smoke,
From a face of rough stone.

I know I'm guilty
No Need to remind,
Oh, you remember what I've done,
But would you still say Good-bye?

Well,

I'm a doctor, I'm the butcher,
Yes, I'm The King of Bones,
I'll harvest your ribcage
an' add it to my throne.

On my plate is your heart,
With ketchup and cheese.
You know these hearts,
Taste better the more they bleed.

In my goblet of wine,
Your soul Swims and cries.

Oh a wisp of smoke,
From a face of rough stone.

When that blue sky gets dragged, shrieking,
towards oblivion.
The moon comes out to remind.
I know I'm guilty.
Oh you remember what I've done,
Are you still ganna say Good-bye?

Well I slept through this cold night,
Hell, I've been through worse.
Heard a wicked story,
of Glass and tattered sash.
The fire keeps me friendly,
This fire tells me more,
It's all just ganna burn up
theres nothing else left but ash an Lyme.
That moon is watching; cautious.
It's makin sure I don't break more hearts.
I already feel so guilty,
I don't need this sentinel,
to remind me of my transgressions,
of love fueled aggressions.

So I might choke on this cigarette,
I might drown myself in drink,
You burning oh so bright,
I feel it's warmth from here,
For me its ******' bitter,
For whoelse it's cinnamon treats,
Please dim down your lights,
You make it real hard to ****** sleep.

My soul howls with Gaia and her kin.
Stardust composes us all.
In the bellies of ancient burning beasts,
We were forged.
In their fiery deaths we were cast,
Deep into the vacuum of space.
Through Eons and perfect accident we began to form.
We are now the death feigns of an elder Cosmos.
Pillars of atoms desperately trying to understand.
Be kind.
Our souls are intimately intertwined.
Hurting others is hurting yourself,
You are them as much as I am me.

We are One.

If you took away all my sadness
and useless rage.
I'm afraid there wouldn't be
Much left standing.
So I'm not asking for
Your cure.
I just need a few bucks
So I can drink,
With my friends.

So maybe tonight won't be
So God ****** rough.

Music is my medicine
but lately,
It's not workin'
I'm ganna need a double dose,
To feel alright.
So I'll blast crystals to my cranium,
So I don't feel so low.
I'll play my guitar and sing
until my lungs explode.

So maybe tonight won't be
So God ****** rough.

Has something happened,
Have I gone crazy?
When I like chaos,
But living lazy.

I wake up early,
And life's a movie.
There's people dancing,
And monsters burning.

I look at clouds,
And they tell me a story.
Life is fleeting, and life is boring.

I think they caught my depression.

So when I wake up at the edge of my bed.
And everything that's wrong starts fallin' outta my head.
I'll say I'm sorry,
I'm in a bad mood.

So I found beauty,
In all I hated.
In this scene of ***** ups
and desperation.

Maybe one day
I'll find my way.
With walks to new towns
And mental break downs.

I hate to tell ya kid,
You'll never be okay.
They won't listen
They'll hate you anyway.

So lose yourself in the chaos.

So when you wake up at the edge of your bed,
And everyone you love is slippin' through your hands.
You'll say I'm sorry,
I'm in a bad mood.

*Well something happened,

and I went crazy.

That sinister Autumn air, it is a force to be reckoned with. It crashes hard into your lungs forcing strangled screams and the pressure bursts your ear drums in ****** fury. This is a time for lonesome walks towards winters deadly grip. May your rage warm your blood as you huddle against the darkness seeking your forgotten warmth.
Crystals fall and you forget their beauty as you are consumed by useless and petty anger.
You stand in the blizzard of freezing winds and your own apathy and you realize you are here alone. There is no one to blame but yourself. So you run. To what you are uncertain. Perhaps back to a home that has forgotten you, or perhaps to another street lamp to record your mortal remains.

The summer was a time for the Blues and muddy water.
While the fall seems to hold something sinister.
Like a word on the tip of your tongue it hangs in the air.
Waiting.
There is beautiful melancholy in the leaves; Autumns musicians sing their repetitive, lonely songs.
Out here, it stirs, hanging heavy on their coat-tails.
Creating sagging eyes and matted hair.
It seems Autumn is a time for beautifully sinister chords accompanied by soft voices made harsh by long draws on their cigarettes and sighs full with crisp air.

100 billion years have passed.
The dinosaurs are cast back into the forgotten fields of heaven.
After wiping out the dinosaurs from the planet God has been busy working on his new pets.
Rumors have popped up among the dinosaur community. Something called humans have inhabited the earth. They take the image of God and his angels.
Lost in misunderstanding, rage and jealously flow over the community of cold blooded reptilians.
Roberto, The last of the dinosaurs, The Last Dinosaur-asaurus,
Stands calm in a fury of scales and teeth.
He was hurt the most. He was left behind, witnessed the great fire ball scorch the earth and char his friends.
He was the only one who talked to god, and asked him why.
"It was your time." He had said.
Those four words, had instilled so much hate in him.
Now, His time has come.
An ancient evil has crept his way into the place where angels forget to look.
Satan himself, seeks council with The Allosaurus.
Revenge has been on the dinosaurs mind and hate fills him.
Beelzebub bestows power into Roberto and his friends.
The time it seems, has come at last.

God sits upon his throne content with the humans progress. Cities have risen where, billions of years ago, only ash rained and a lone dinosaur walked the earth.
Roberto and his army, every dinosaur that ever was, march upon his great Hall.
Angels stand guard.
Without even looking up, obsessed with his ego driven creation, God says,
"Why do you stand before me? I have cast you and your kind away from here.
Be thankful I let you stay in this realm. My mercy has kept you from hell, but I still hold the power to cast you down."

"Your mercy?" Retorts the Orphanedasuarus, his cold blood growing hot.
"You cast fire from the sky, wiped my race from the planet for no other reason than you were bored. Your mercy will be your undoing."

God laughs heartily as Roberto, powered by the rage of a trillion reptile souls and the spell of Satan, charges towards God.
The Dinosaurs of a thousand ages rend the flesh of the angels and tear their wings from their shoulders, casting them from heaven.

Before the All Mighty can even rise from his chair, or draw another breath for shock,
Roberto Sinks his teeth into his throat.
For the first time since his childhood, he tastes flesh.
For the first time in his life. He savors it.
Feasting on the blood of Him, Roberto becomes all that was and all that is.
The humans feel a disturbance in their nature.
The dinosaur takes his place upon his throne, and looks down on Earth.
The audacity of these creatures.
What was once the homes of him and his friends, now stood skyscrapers and massive buildings. Highways on the bones and graves. Cars running on the decomposed bodies.
They will pay. He will have his revenge.

So, we were slaves again,
like we were before.
Instead of a man with a white beard, it was a dinosaur.

I like saying good morning to passer-byes,
It always catches them off guard.
Something about grinning teeth coming from a face like this.
I like when car doors lock when I get too close,
What the **** is it that I would do?
Because I create disasters just by pouring milk.
I like soft carpets because it makes sleeping not so hard.
Theres a stoop where I like to sit, where I think a home used to be.
when I lay down on the cool concrete I wonder if they wonder about me.
I like big billboards that tell me how much i could win.
Cause that gives me a day dream so i can escape out of my head.
Well, nothing in this world makes sense,
We're made up of the smallest tiny bits.
So when you finally slit your wrists it'll be okay.
One day you could be a star again.
I like when people are smarter than me.
So that I can learn something else.
As long as it's not politics, that ****'ll make me stab myself.
I dont care whos right or wrong cause thats not a real thing.
Your morals are just popular opinion.
I like playing guitar on the street.
If you pass by with a dollar, why don'tcha' stop and listen.
I'm not asking for your pity I'm just asking for your time.
Listen to what I've got to say.
It's not that Important, I just like to share
Maybe you've got a song you'd like to play.
Why don'tcha' strum upon my mortal remains.
I like construction, really, skeletons of anykind.
I'd like to visit the inside once the walls are up and done.
I wont break anything, dont look at me that way
I dont cause no problems, I'll just leave when you need me.
I really like metaphors.
So here's one about my thoughts,
It's like One hundred billion birds above my head
It's like
Every feathers a letter, every bird is a word, every flock is a sentence.
I'll try and grab a few and bring em down to tell you what I think of the sunset.
I'd like to say I believe in second chances, but chances are you do too
ands thats just a way to **** me twice.
I like words that start with D
Like, *****, desperate, desperadoes, in dilapidated destitute look for some ******* sleep.
I like gas station lazy days and crystals to my cranium.
I'm not selfish with material things, but i'm greedy with the passing of time.
In a way I think thats worse
leave me alone.
I'm the lifeless nail and your the bleeding flesh
The road is a bamboo seed just forcing us apart.
In the end I'm still on top.

This night drifts slowly towards the dawn.
Such nights are for slow songs and solitude.
To contemplate; create.
To open hidden doors.
To fill blank pages
With oceans of consciousness.

Cataracts have grown over my eyes.
Blinding me from the gorgeous tragedy
That bestows wandering winds to my moored soul.

Suffering and freedom on the East coast.
Pines call to me like a mother
Searching for her lost young.
Desperate and warm.

Lounging in the decay and sap filtered light,
I find myself.
I am calloused fingers looking for scratch and song.
A Vagabond of soft heart and pernicious wrongs.

I'm a horrible lover,
An unreliable friend.
I don't know what the hell your talkin' bout when you call me a man.
Cause I'm a coward,
Pessimistic,
A liar and a fraud.
I drink till I'm happy, smoke dope till I'm gone.
My memories they haunt me until early light,
My eyes they stare an unbreakable glare.
So friends and father just leave me alone,
I ain't worth the trouble, I ain't helpful at all
So let me dig my own grave,
Just let me carve my headstone.

Let me fly with the angels.