A confusion or ambivalence of sorts has settled upon me
Could be me just whining but oh well...
For once Ive always wanted an encounter with simplicity
Surely it would give me a break from all this complexity that I call life
With anything or anyone whos a part of the latter
My loved ones or lovers
My job or my upcoming studies
A breath that I dont allow myself to take because apparently I like self destructing
Nerves fill me everywhere
Take me to a day where I can adhere my true way of being
Though Im only just starting...

Console and release my pain to another place
For my head is filled with dread all the time
Though the experience is going paced
I realize my future looks like grime

Emotions run through my veins seeking peace
Momentary recognition fo life
Regrets and lamentations that wont cease
Panic struck bravery with a sharp knife

Reluctance shared our circumstances
It gave a condescending and proud smile
Took a risky and desperate chance
Acceptance was ignored by denial

Suddenly the mind lifted the black fog
And restored a brightness that once more came back

Past regrets lost in an emulsion of sorrows
Paralyzed to the point of leaving yourself behind because of these dastard individuals who you call stress, anxiety and depression
However theres a fraction of an enigma that still exists within me
The fans of reality blows and steers possibilities and likelihoods towards my life
Such a thing as nepenthe doses seem relevant and present in the world?
Contrary to my uncertainty, society could believe it does in various shapes or forms
Although, our constant search for content proves a sort of doubt
Trapping beautiful leaves with different colors in a jar never to be experienced but hopefully found by a wanderer who would demonstrate what a prize they were in the first place
Negligence ultimately derived from perpetual speculation
Build, construct your house of memories as vivid and as sorrowful as they come
They are yours!
An identity, defining who you are without all the torment
Escape the wrath of your past regrets, mistakes and insecurities
You can, if you allow yourself to

Love....
wanting it so bad yet end up feeling confused and alone
Lost in the words that were never said in the frigid air of dishonesty
A distorted illusion once made to enrapture has now left you in a maze of sorrow and ambivalence

A lasting illusion that never fails
hiking through the mountain of cowardice
anger came back and strikes, to tell its side of the story
while frustration doesn't last a second on the stand to wield its case
may Honorable Emotions decide what to do
The Grand Jury has plead the ever so handsome and charming defendant Mr. Lies not guilty
cheering for his grand victory stays home and drinks his daily feed of denial and neglect until he hunts down the next victims for his woe, sorrow and raging desires to be fulfilled
Until next time.... we might save others dear hearts

Our path is filled with uncertainty
Lost in the maze of lies
Blinded by false images of harmony
True interests will arise

Cries ignored subsequently diminishing
Silent pain causing sadness
Happiness currently dwindling
Entering oblivion while already falling into darkness

Improbability standing in every corner
Ambivalence will surely destroy
Pride tainted leading to deteriorated honor
Forget that awaiting time to rejoice

Distant but present perseverance turning sideways
Experience will transform into rejuvenescence

Allow me to rejoice on that ever present smile that settled upon your face
Restoring this vitality in me
I never once knew I had inside my being
There is no coherent explanation as to how you make me feel '
Let me understand your hidden desires
Since you hide behind the troubles of your past
Dont treat me as if Im a temporary tenant
In the secured and turbulent shelter you call mind
You are my warmth and my longing
Share your passions and your unpleasentries
Know that Im here to stay
Hand me the keys to your residence
So we both together patch up your insecurities and nasty numbness
I will sweep away the hurt and alienate the emptiness
Shed water to your plants
Discover the beauty you can grant them
Consolation and comfort all wrapped up
in the personification that is you