Every time
I look inside myself
I want to cry

Who is this girl?
She is disgusting
And ugly
And dumb

No one likes this girl

Every time
I look in the mirror
I want give up

Who is this girl?
She is fat
And stupid
And flawed

No one wants this girl

Every time
I think of my past
My soul starts aching

Who was that girl?
She was sweet
And kind
And lovely

What happened to that girl?

Every time
Every single time

**It hurts

I'm always shocked
Walking past mirrors
Because there is a stranger in them
Looking back at me
I don't even know her

She's happy
She smiles
She laughs
She's not me

I used to see
Myself in the mirrors

Now I see a stranger
Looking back at me

I'm not the girl
Smiling in the mirror

I felt free.

I wasn't *******.

I wasn't restricted to anything.

I was free.

Free from blame,
Free from shame,
Free from any chains that were holding me back.

Someone has paid to bail me out.

I thought I was going to spend my whole life,
Locked up behind bars.

But, no.

Someone who unconditionally loved me set me free.

I don't deserve it,
But He said I do.

Because He washed me with His blood.
Now, I am white as snow
And I am set free.

Have you ever been so broken
that even saying
I miss you,
takes such
a heavy
feeling?
Why?

It scares me
To know I am a child
And still feel like this

I am frightened
Because it seems death
Is my only option

It makes me cry
To know what could have been
Yet still be here

It scares me
No--
*It terrifies me

If I could have
I would have
But I couldn't
And I can't
And I'm *sorry