Millee

Millee Jan 14

empty

Why would I eat if the lies inside me fill me up? 'Til there's nothing but half-truths trapped inside. I plead, scream, beg for someone to hear my cry but it's locked deep within me.
The pain I feel when I look in the mirror; why? Why do I hate myself?
Hate my hair,
my hips,
my thighs,
my stomach,
my smile.
I won't look anymore.
I can't bear to see who's staring back.
Shatter the mirror!
Distort the already broken image.
How much more damage could I do to myself before I'm through?
The scale wails when I approach; the fourth time in a day. When the numbers fall, I let out a sigh of relief, but when they rise…
What can I do?
What would you do if you couldn't be you?
Everyone's words are pointless. If its not the voice inside my head it doesn't matter. Nothing can satisfy my need to feel empty—to feel proud of the monster I’d become.

#anorexia #anorexic #eatingdisoder #empty #numb #ed #edo

Millee Jan 6

What to feel

i'm so lost
first you love me
then treat me like trash
acting like i'm not there
...acting like you don't care

i don't understand what ive done to you
to make you hate me the way you do
is it really hate?
or only a facade?

i don't know how to feel
cause i don't know what's real
do you truly love me?
or am i only a means to an end?

#relationship #boyfriend #feelings #heartache

Millee Jan 1

My Rose

You were a rose.
As beautiful as its soft, red petals.
Even a perfect rose has flaws––its thorns.
And, My Darling, you've stricken me.

Just something random. I put on ambient music and wrote from there.

#romance #heartbreak #loveispain #pain #love

Millee Dec 2024

numb.

the yearn to feel
to know the pain is real
is all i can do
while i sit here with you
awaiting the day
i can finally say
'I'm no longer numb'

#numb #depressed #depression #bipolar #manic #mentalhealth #disorder #anorexia #help

Millee Dec 2024

let go.

pulling me up just to push me back down, to this cycle i'm bound. pride is a sin whether from you or within. i climb to the top not planning to stop but if i go too far—
just let me fly, be free. let me truly be me. unlock the door, release the chains because no matter how much you think you love me, you only put me in pain.
how can i heal when i begin to it's my skin you peel. bring me back to "perfect," everything you dreamed for me, but that's not who i am, can't you see?!
just let me live my life, the way i intend too. you treat me like a trial run, how is that fun for you?
this is my life, not yours. leave me alone

#parents #control #anger #sadness #hope #longing #trending

Millee Dec 2024

switch

on and off.
off and on.
the same stupid routine day after day
but i guess i was made that way

Millee Dec 2024

door ****

overlooked but overused. i the key to new experiences—what lays beyond the wall. day after day, hour after hour people touch me but are unclean. the germs crawl around me, waiting for the next victim. flu, covid, a cough—doesn't matter which 'cause i experience them all...