These are all the pieces of me, Take them as you go. Where they fit I never knew, its been so long I just don't know.

Once I was broken badly, but I never could quite find. Were it was along this journey, that I lost my mind.

Just take my shattered essence, that used to be my soul. I tried to paste it back together once, but I could never make it whole.

I watch you walk out the door, if I didn't care I wouldn't cry. Just take these broken pieces please, so you never ask me why.

Pistol dreams.
Exaggerated hopes.
Intense ideas of love, furious desires for the stars to be in reach.

Teenage ideals. Everything is deep,
Or can be.
An elephant carries a heavy load but can hold it easier than anything else.
Deep? Shallow? Dumb?
Depends on who is asked.

The future is screaming,
Rolling forward like a train at unimaginable speeds,
Meanwhile I am writing,
Thinking of things,
That won't heal the sick,
Or feed the hungry.

However,
It seems lifechanging,
When the words flow right,
Or throw hope and love together in some new way.

But are they actually?

Tonight there are no deep thoughts floating through the room.
No wishful words wandering woesomely in my brain.
Just dreams of sleep.
Visions of a light darkness.
Not the evil but the peaceful.
So tonight sleep will come,
Instead of thoughts,
And this
Is
Good.

Shame woven into me, to escape the things I've done. In shadow it reminds me, it's a battle that can't be won.

Fingerprints along the walls, that match my very hand. It holds to gently or grips to tight, and lost is the magic sand.

Where were you all that time ago, when I needed strength the most? Now my past self haunts me, like the lingering of a ghost.

Never is there a witch when you need one, to cast a magic spell. Circles drawn and cauldrons bubbled, the day I saved myself from hell.

When I write, I am in my own world. An entire different world.
Putting this world into words to bring it to vitality , where the true me indepth exists.

My thoughts are my enemies, and overthinking is my best companion , joining along with my soul that ignited the two different worlds , as the world inside my head and the world where my unfortunate reality lays , are connected in those writings of mine.

Once I hold my pen, it seems like I could write endlessly for eternity.
The intellectual me is raging for more and more vitality , it's deeply intricate where my thoughts and those worlds meet.

But my thoughts are the biggest cravers for their freedom. And there, in my mind , I live and in words and letters , I expose my true inner self.

Are you even capable of such feelings?
When you inhale
You pull the life right out of me
And I’m left, alone
Waiting*
Exhale

~

If you only knew

these feelings I clench in my fist,

locked in endless lingering,

breathing for only this

Painting a future

caused by eternal dreams

found in your…



Smile…



and I too shall smile,

laughing in flowered

blooms filled with heartbeats,

fragrances sifting

along alphabetical fence lines,

counting the letters

found in your…



Words…



send a message,

feeding desires of my visions,

fruited of vine fed bounty,

weaving about my skin,

tempting me to search deeply

the roots

found in your…



Thoughts…



flow freely

within my soul,

beyond scattered butterflies

on the top rung

of this laddered stairway,

padded with beliefs

found in your…



Love…



sets me free,

fits me with wings of chiffon renderings,

soaring to destined heights,

glowing in the shimmering rays

of a springtime sun

in the forever solitude I

found in you…