IT HURTS.

IT HURTS SO MUCH I CAN'T HANDLE IT.

WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE?

I just wanted you

but I can't make you want me

if you don't want to

A broken heart and cross stained with tears. Worn out sandals covered in dust. A day when Gods heart burst. The ultimate gift of love, a perfect sacrifice sent from above. Christ was Gods valentine to all of us. When the messiah cried it is done, we revived greatest gift, his only begotten son.

When you called me
I waited a second to answer
Anxiety shook my body to its core
In that second time shifted
That second turned into 5 seconds
Then into 30 seconds
By then the phone stopped ringing

I never knew what heartbreak was
I was naive when it came to love
But somehow my perspective shifted
I felt my heartbreak in those 30 seconds

The phone rang again

And I watched it’s blinking red lights-
Mock the tears streaming down my face

I backed away
The phone screamed with desperation
Its screams ridiculing my heart
Laughing at the cracks forming

Missed calls
Most people don’t know the true meaning behind the name
I do
They call them that because they are missed conversations
Missed hopes, missed second chances
They are able to make someone miss you

I do not answer his calls anymore
It hurts too much to give myself false hope
When he just wants friendship

yes,
you can kiss
my rose petal eyelids
my stained cheeks
my humming neck
my willing waist
my burning skin
anywhere on
my restless body
but kiss my lips,
and I'll spend the
rest of my life
aching
grieving
searching for
your stinging tongue

  fate assured me
   we'd burn violently
    but ultimately suns die
     every flame grows tired
      every bulb will break
      every wick will drown  
     charred and regretful
    weary and worn out
   drained of energy
  choking for air
i'm not ready
to ignite
just yet