you'll never know him...
and maybe the way i think is out on a limb,
but i wish you could have met the man i love,
he's kind, patient, and doesn't judge... but pushes me to be better when i need that shove.
not in the ways my father did to you,
but rather he cares about me and his actions have proved it in the time due.
i wish you could have met that man more than you did,
i'm not guaranteeing he's my forever, but i got him like the winner of a bid.
somehow this man loves me mama,
and despite all of your life's drama,
he is trustworthy and lovely...
and i wish you could have liked him as much as he loves me.

i want to live, right?
it's something i question at night...
not actually,
but i do question that thought itself fully.
do i enjoy breathing?
mom left me the past three years with this thought conceiving...
i feel torn,
and to my very core, worn.
i want to keep moving forward?
but without a part of me around, i don't know where i'm going toward...
i hope she's with the stars,
instead of being depressed and sneaking away to local bars.
do i miss it all and would i live it again?
she made me and without her i wouldn't know where to even begin...