103

That's the tragic number it seems

103

Innocents brought down maybe in the prime  of their lives
Killed senselessly for having a good time
There should be a rainbow over Orlando
Not just for acceptance, but to commemorate the bloodshed on the land or to show the world that after the darkest nights come the brightest days

103

I'm blooming can't you see
The soil hasn't been kind to me
It's like trying to break through hot gravel
Or cold concrete
I'm blooming, it just takes a long time
Longer than it would to find 5 weird words that rhyme with time, because this lack of rain has come at a horrible time

I'm growing, my roots spread slowly but surely
I'm not sure when I'm going to flower but I'm glad it's not too early
Patience is necessary when dealing with me, as I'm a work in progress but clearly that you cannot see
You expected a finished product but I was given to you as I was

Maybe I shouldn't be planted by you
.. you can't wait on my leaves to grow robust

When I close my eyes,
I can picture myself being ****
I wrote down my ideas on my naked body
not the perfect curves, for an outstanding silhouette?
but my body, my canvas,
I created this literary masterpiece:
a little something for you and a little something for me,

I scribble a stanza or two on my chest,
and I watch as my body heat melt the words away
without allowing a poem to be created

My ****** tattoos open up like rose from the poem
Rose is a rose is a rose is a rose one from Gertrude Stein famous line.

Outline my words with admiration,
until my mind accept the connection
My body, my canvas, my visionary centerpiece, my satisfaction,
Like sand through an hour glass,
I have created this body of poetry.

Can you love someone like me?
Who's grown Comfortable alone in my own zone like me?
Can you really invest in me?
Are you going to be there during my best and my worst because the two things are so different you see

Can you love someone who's been rejected
Brokenhearted, dosed, depressed, yet infuriatingly introspective
Can you look past the medieval exterior and see the troubled but loving soul within?

Do I meet your short term requirements? Or am I simply not a "good enough" man?

Relationships are all about balance
Being the yin to a yang
The subtle base to someone's loud twang
And while balance is crucial behind those doors
Why do people like to castrate the love someone else managed to create, just because the couples nationalities aren't yours?

They're not too good to date someone that happens to share their skin
But they found someone that makes them happy as a lark without and within
So really... is happiness an unforgivable sin?

Float like a butterfly and sting like a Bee
THERE AIN'T ANOTHER BROTHER IN THE WORLD AS BAD AS ME
Some of the words spoken by the greatest himself, Muhammad Ali
A man with more speed and skill
Than there are rabbits for hunters to ****
Controversial?
Undoubtedly
But such is the life of a man in a chaotic time
Civil rights movement, the Vietnam War were weighing heavily on the American people's minds.

But the greatest has passed on now, and it truly is a tragedy.

So for one last time, Float like a butterfly, and sting like a bee

In this moment I pray:
For peace
For strength
For life to slow down
to speed up
To give me all the things I want
To take away all the things that break me
To end my rollercoaster emotions
up and down
side-to-side
happy and sad

In this moment I beg:
To be successful
to feel proud of the strides I've made
to not feel like a failure
that I will be nobody forever
that I will be stuck in the same place
for the rest of my life
For the day I will see the light
and I will trust my feet to take me where I need to be
to appreciate all that I have
and to stop comparing myself to others

And in this moment I hope:**
That I will continue to fight for my life
That I will get better one day
That I'll no longer be sick and scared
That I will find what I'm meant to do
That God actually does have a plan for me
and I just need to be patient and have faith
That healing will take place
And that there will be a day
That I will no longer feel this pain
That it will be replaced with joy.