She found a
ending
not quite what she had
expected.

Dropping into the void of
herself
was all she knew.

And she knew that all she ever wanted
was
to be wanted,

what a shame.

Too much has
faded
and I can no longer
see.

A warmth tickles my skin
yet
I can't help but
shiver.

Have you noticed?

The thought of piercing my
skin
excites me
and
I'm realizing now.

I'm sick.

Too much has changed
why does so much
feel so
wrong.

I can see it now,
blood,
staining my skin,
ridges,
permanent.

I can only imagine
the
jagged edges rising
across my
skin.

All I know
but still
I don't feel bad.

Have I lost my grasp of
reality,
finally?

For the sight of that only,
creates
true euphoria
and
I can truly
appreciate
the slicing of my
skin.

I can only imagine
the bathtub
the water changing
light pink,
as I bleed out, fluttering eyelids,
lovely,
finally.

I'm lost in the fog
of
what truly is.

What has this become?

No,
the fog is merely in my eyes,
just a hoax,
drawing me in.

Deceived,
by what used to be.

Have you seen me?
or,
perhaps,
her,
for,

Who is she?

The girl with the foggy eyes and unsure smile,
me.

Hurts worse
than what you have become
and
even I
recognize the pain
boiling in your eyes.

But that *** is now
spilling over
and
the river is simply too wide.

Its like winter again
yet
the grass is green
I sense the dark and
the horizon tells the
truth.

I met him where
ink turns to ice
and I return to that
place
once more
and
there you are.

Your open arms
look so warm
but your eyes
make me
shiver.

I see what you are
and
I know
what you are now.

It all ends here
and
I know.

It all ends here
and
I take your hand,
surprised by the iciness of
touch.

Who are you?
More like who am I?

For
you are back
facing that
mirror and
truly
you are me.

i want to disappear
from this world,
this planet because
i can not be reminded
of you, anymore.
all this reminiscing and
memories are just too much
for my empty soul.
i ignore you and try
to forget you,
but it's impossible.
i want to avoid you,
and maybe i am succeeding
at it,
but i also want to find you
because you seem to
disappear lately, too.
all i need is closure,
because without it
i cannot move on,
and maybe,
i do not want to,
maybe i want to
love you until
the end of time,
but i also want to
forget you and
escape the spell you
had cast on me.
i don't want you
to invade my thoughts,
anymore.