tell me --
who you are.
where you've been.
because i can't trust anymore.

i can't trust anyone.

between ai,
fake people
and old white lies --
im not sure what's real
and what's not.

maybe my brain
is too twisted
and is making
this all up...

im not sure
what's real
and what's not,
who i can trust
and who i can't --
it's all so confusing.

just leave me be,
maybe it'll spare me
the sympathy
when all my secrets
get dug up.

if you tell a lie,
people cant always
pick it apart
from the truth.

with you --
no one knows
what's real
and what's fake.

there's that feeling
of old memories
and happy voices --
big smiles too,
whenever you hear
thag one tune.

that one simple melody.

that one chord.

it all floods back.

no matter what happens,
it's always her.

she's there through my
platonic breakups,
romantic breakups,
emotional breakdowns,
overwhelm,
and the nights i cry myself to sleep.

she's there
every
single
time.

that's why it's always her.


but you know..
things change.

people change.

so maybe it's not always her.
atleast not anymore,
not the way it once was.

she's not there anymore.

but honestly?
nor am i.
and im trying to move on
from her.

and i think im almost there.

when i dont write, maybe im in a slump or something, just know that my second account will have raw and unedited pieces that i cant finish (sometimes).

just uploaded a really raw one. literally thought of it maybe thirty minutes ago. all my thoughts are there too. so if you like hearing peoples creative process you should check it out.

go check out noumena. might find pieces that wont be on here ever.

i have decided that since i personally write a lot that i dont end up liking, that i would make an account where i share my thought process behind all my "bad" poems. the ones that dont flow, or make any sense whatsoever.

i want to work on how i view my own writing but i also want to improve my writing. i want to have this as an escape whenever i feel down but i also would like to be able to write well when im bored or even for schooling.

i take constructive criticism and i want to hear your thoughts and opinions about my own thoughts and poems. and my second account allows for that.

im aiming to be more vulnerable on there and i will not edit the pieces before they're uploaded.

because life is messy and my writing is allowed to be. no ones writing is perfect. theres always going to be something you can do to make it flow better. atleast in my opinion.

so im hoping this all makes sense and that my second account can be a helpful place in a way.

i sat in the forest --
picking up leaves
and ripping them
in different ways,
different shapes
because everyone is different.

and they all break differently.

i picked a once green leaf
that was staring to brown
on the edges.

i ripped it
and it didn't break
slowly
like the others.

it just fell apart
in my hands.

but it made me look up at the
sunbeams
slipping between
the tall forest trees.

realising,
not everyone breaks slowly.

some people crumble and fall apart
all at once.

and that's okay.