I think I found my solace.
Under the never-looping azure above,
I declare that I found my
                [solitary]
sanctuary.

When the noises continue to vibrate,
the [pandemonium], the crowd
seems nothing if I hide under my comfort
                                                   s o l a c e t h .
This heavenly, a thing that stops everything from
                [buzzing]
         is no ordinary stim
                                           ( s o l a c e t h )

  I am happy
                     (euphoria sensation, tingling inside my under parts.)
  I breathe inside my solaceth paradise.
  The solaceth, I put them in my veins, so of course

I swallow my solaceth, I put them inside my veins, so of course
sticking on my skull, lingering under the PLASTIC, ONLY CLAY skin of mine.
It will never be faeces, because the solaceth is my blood
now, even my saliva and ***** now taste like solaceth
                               do you want to taste them?
it will never be urines, because I drink my SOLACETH back.
solaceth, [ d i s e a s e ? w h a t ? ] is me. I am solaceth,
solaceth inside me now.
Yes, maybe as you say, it's a virus.
A virus for us to finally reach our utopian land!
  Forever sniffing, forever living, our SOLACETH!

tell me, how do I go on?
with your never ending blues
how am I supposed to paint on this limited canvas?
do I color your image with my tears,
or do I spill my inside and let it be?
or do I pretend like you are invisible?
dear Sky –
why do you keep spinning?
I am tired of drawing you.

peering into the looking glass
exists my complacent reality.
it is bright, pretty,
a nice-colored world painted with serenity.
completely different from where i am,
mine is dull, puzzling and a broken opaque crystal ball made of metal.
the world i am in is almost infernal,
somewhere where the sun only flickers every now and then.
even my never ending determination seems like an illusion that's waiting to shatter.
is that it? is that glass simply a delusion of mine, a wish fulfillment of me finally contempt with my vision full of clarity?

but no.

the looking glass is,

somewhere

i yet to reach.

it is the kaleidoscope that i can see when i finally pierce my colors together.

so i smile through the looking glass.




                                   my reflection glistens.

I didn't mean to
       Throw myself into the dark hole.
But I has succumbed
           myself into an ocean
       mystique ocean, it looks like an ocean
                                       curiousity

Fall, I fell and fell and fell
           I got ****** in
         Vaccummed,
                   I thought I only fell
But bit by bit,
           My body got eaten up
      Bit by bit, black by black
I had been eaten by these noir things.

So hollow. So empty.
                  Can't help
But peer more into this thing
            I fell, going to be trapped soon
    So my eyes followed down
        Gazing, gazing, perhaps m e t o o,
   was gazed by the seemingly eye looking darkness below
              Abyss, down below
I am going to be eaten anyways.
        So why not know what those eyes are.
Watching  me, is it crawling
                   crawling, maybe I'm going to crawl myself too later
       In that dark void, no surface void
                                       There's probably nothing, or more.

Monochrome days.
Windows covered with white haze.
Infinite black rays.
Bathed in a mind full of daze.

Walk breathe live.
Again even if I no longer be relieved.
Endless intangible cursive.
Nothing more I no longer forgive.

A ghost, beneath all that dust.
Everything is now crusts.
Everything is a must.
Until I no longer frust.

It's looping May.
Still I'm a living weigh.
Things are now ashtray.
Colors are all still gray.

Monochrome days.
Oh, monochrome days.
Looping me continue to live.
As if I'm the final Eve.
Boring stardust.
Now it's all just rust.
Looping gray days.
Oh, looping monochrome days.

Can you feel this heartbeat?
It beats. One, two, three... It beats each seconds.
Wait. I think my pulses beat too.
One, two, three.
It is faster than I thought.
I touched my chest. My wrist. And every part that beats.
One! Two! Three! Four! Five!
How did I reach three hundred and sixty that quick?
It's sprinting. My heart is running away.
And suddenly. It sank.
My heart, fell into the ocean.
It breathes faster. It struggles to breathe. It's...
drowning.
Where is air—?
How suffocating it is. It's painful.
One. Two. Three —
Four. Five. Six —
SevenEightNineTenElevenTwelveThirteenFourteenFifteen
Toofasttoo­fasttoofasttoofast ———
Inhale. Exhale. Then breathe.
It. Can breathe. Now is okay.
But how is my heart floating. Floating. Floating, soarly flying.
Down. My heart is falling down. Slowly, slowly
slowly
Why can't it fall quickly?
Ah. My heart is
sinking. But it's still
beating.
One, Two, Three...
Can you hear it, darling?
The beatings of my heart.
Almost breaking.

Where's Atlair?
It is the one I'm searching for— but it's too bright.
Too early for stars, too early for creating scars.
But how can I breathe, if I'm blinded by sunlight?
Inhale this oxygen, the one everyone breathes,
But this one is what chokes me.
I need to stop breathing in order to live,
Not now— not now— But how can I wait?
It is there in the sky, but it's too invisible—
And right now is not the time to die as I'm too invincible—
However.I cannot wait. When can I walk?
It is still daylight, so I have to rest.
It is still heating, so I have to cool down.
'Till the cloud reveals the naked galaxy,
To the extent eclipse can blind everyone's eye (but me)
Only I, only I can fathom the constellation.
It is only me who can undress the truth of Milky Way,
So I have to get up. But soleil is still up.
It hurts to feel frozen. It hurts to see everyone smiling
At this ugly, deceitful day.
It hurts. And I have to ease everyone's pain.
It's still daylight, still not midnight,
But where's Vega?