I don't get angry with the sun
For being what it is
Or doing what it does
When my skin burns
From overexposure
I just become disappointed
With myself
You were no different
I just wanted you to be

Messed up thoughts, and the words that intoxicate you are tangling in your mind.
And your eyebags and hoarse and unmelodious voice,
And your smiles that lasted for seconds you can count with your fingers.
And your lonely feeling, cold as the freezing village.
Your ideas of love are dying,
An perspective of the world is changing,
Just like the four seasons,
It's quick to change.
That thing called emotion and that
Thing called empathy.
Deviant, and no more trying to reach.
Sleeping in a lucid dream, a horrible one
Wasted out breaths and dumb headache
Ugly laugh and sensitive tears.
It's too boring if you commit suicide
So, goodnight, sweetheart

The demons live with me –
They have their own blankets ready,
So later we would go visit the creeks
And they will push me to the water and let me suffocate,
They will drown me in muds
They will blind me so all I could see is dark.

The demons live with me –
They invite me to our special hideout,
Decaying building and magical asbestos
And they will prepare an empty room full of irons and knives,
They will slit me with them
They will kiss me with them 'till I become numb.

The demons, the demons live with me –
They will celebrate my birthday party,
Their presents are bouquet of blights
And they also give me flaming matches for me to light up an inferno,
They will burn with me, laugh
They will burn every sadness I felt.

The demons live with me.
They are inside, they are calling me.
The demons, demons, demons,
THESE DEMONS,
          Demons,         d e m o n s
                                 are me.

Let me feel-
Every inch of my body are all n u m b
I can't even feel my heart beating
I need a hand! I need YOUR hand!
But did you
     r e a l i z e ?

How my fingers just want to scratch every layers of my skin
How the paper cut scars wrinkles every surface of my fragile lungs!
How cacophony is the only scream that echoes on every hallway of my mind!
How hollow is my mind, to be able to hear each wails of my body parts?

Let me feel-
Let me feel! Let me feel! LET ME FEEL!
Cut me through your threads,
Strangle me by your wires,
Stomp me on your heavy metallic existence!


But,
        did,
                you,
                         l i s t e n ?