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m Jul 2016
May 1st, 2016
8:44 pm
I officially have 15 days with you.

****.

I cannot do this
I cannot do this
I will miss you
I will miss you so badly.

You are all that matters to me
Nothing has mattered this much to me.
Ever.

Not music
Not writing
Not saving myself

Speaking of saving myself, I didn’t do that
You did

Remember?
You saved me
I looked at myself in the mirror and hated what I saw
I hated the lump in my throat
I hated my flat chest
I hated the way my stomach bumps out a little

But then you turned me around and said
“You’re beautiful.”

And you meant it.

You meant it when you said it that night in the garden.
You meant it when you whispered it in my ear.
You meant it.
You ******* meant it.
You meant it like no one had ever meant anything before.

You’re all that matters to me
You are my universe
You are my earth
And my sun
You are my alpha
And my omega
My life starts and ends with you.

So I may have 15 days left with you
But **** it
I will be ****** if I don't make the best of it.

Because I love you.

I loved you that night at the bookstore.
I loved you when we went to pride together.
You know, I wanted that to be a date.
I spent that whole day wishing that it was a date.

I have loved you for so long
It feels like forever.

So **** this 15 days thing
I will love you till I die,
And I’ll even love you from hell.
m Jul 2016
I'm in a friendship
with my computer screen.
**** everything.
10 word story
m Jul 2016
the suffering
that runs
through all of us
like a familial bond
the water of the womb
linking us all
together.

we all suffer greatly
from our minds
whether it's
chemicals
or trying to forget.

we all try to forget
try
try
try as you might
but you can never forget
never escape
the hell of existence.

so, dear reader
suffer
suffer
go on and suffer
for our suffering
keeps us human.
m Jul 2016
Oh sweet release
the burn
that stings
for minutes
hours after
my small attempt
at erasing the pain
at feeling better
oh how I love you.

your sting
when fabric touches you
serves as
a constant reminder
that I deserve pain
I deserve bad things.

this isn't a problem
it's my ******* nightmare
and I'm the one
who's paying for it.
  Jul 2016 m
Aaron LaLux
∆ The Fear (Orlando Commando) ∆

Oh my God son,
did you hear,
there was another terrorist attack,
and again comes The Fear.

The shootings by these psychos,
struck some familiar cords,
extreme actions by extremist with suicidal tendencies,
leads to the tightening of borders,

the attacks in Orlando last week,
happened on Saturday Night,
gives us all The Fever and The Chills,
all at the same time.

The incident occurred,
during at a club in Orlando,
a rouge shooter emerged,
and went Extremest commando,

this ****** had his finger on the trigger,
until EMTs arrived to put their fingers on the pulse,
of victims slain for no good reason at all,
this violence is insane when will it halt?

Oh how patronizingly patriotic and fitting everything is!

From shootings in Paris,
to drones strikes in deserts,
if you ask me,
they’re all terrorist,
extremist are extremist,
extremism is extremism,
I don’t support any extreme,
I don’t support any regime,
I don’t support patriots in chariots,
I don’t support Sharia law in it’s most extreme variance,

fck this,

I fckn mean this,

why I have to fckn cuss,
to get your attention,
three minutes to make a point,
with the words I mention,
intentions,
set,
like smart bombs and ******’s focus,
IMF got the world in debt dollars are tokens,
tokens we use to play,
the game of life until God takes us away,

away,
gotta be a better way,
than bombing each other,
why the fck did we even enter Iraq,
and engage in that trouble,
what’s the real reason,
and no don’t fckn say oil,

bombs over Baghdad,
down with Saddam,
up with the black flag,
stab you in the back like a black ***,
fck that that’s all hate,
why the fck are us as in US even in Iraq,
why do attack others can’t we find the time to just relax and relate,

can’t really blame President Baraka Flacka,
he’s done as good as any of us could in his position,
a president is just one man he’s not God,
so he has to do what he does to pursue his visions,
still we spend millions on maniacal missions,
making incisions into civilizations putting them into critical conditions,

I must be a punk because I feel like all religion is Bad Religion,

NO ONE IS INNOCENT,

that’s what ISIS is trying to say,
that’s why they chose to attack a normal place,
because when the US kills 500,000 in Iraq,
shooting 100 people in a bar in Paris doesn’t seem that bad,

fck it,
someone could walk into this crowd right now and start shooting,
just like,
a hurricane could hit Florida today and by the tonight there’d be looting.

NO ONE IS INNOCENT,

that’s what ISIS is trying to say,
we all play our part,
in this macabre play,
and I warn you right now,
don’t ignore the problems and think they’ll just go away,

if you work your *** off,
then you pay your taxes,
we’ve all got blood on our hands,
and I’m not saying that those in foreign lands,
are any better than us *******,
anyone with an AK-47 can get buried in the sands!

But what the fck ever,
have another beer cheers,
pretend everything’s ok,
try and drown out The Fear with beers,

but you can not ignore,
that tightening feeling in your stomach,
and can not ignore the fact that we’re all lost,
sea sick on the high seas feeling like I might *****,
so we stare up at the stars,
hoping we can catch a ride on a comet,

hoping maybe someone will save us,

we save up,
but still our taxes go to destruction,
supposedly targeting the axis of evil,
but regardless the target bombs have only one function,

destruction,
there’s nothing smart about a smart bomb,
anyone that wishes to wage war should just move to another planet,
and all of us that wish to wage peace should just stay here,

****** is ******,
I don’t want to hurt any other human being,
that’s it,
I’m sick of rooting for the home team,

I feel so fckn ashamed to be an American right now,

NOT ANOTHER BOMB DROPPED IN MY NAME!

Where do we go,
when everyone’s gone,
and there’s no one left to blame?

Right here,
the red, white and blue,
same colors as France,
these colors don’t run fool!

To proud,
to admit our mistakes,
like when you lie to someone you love,
they confront you and you punch them right in the face,

except for instead of a punch,
we unleash bio-chemical energy warfare,
call it a hunch,
but I’d say we are all guilty of war crimes here,

here,
have some facts bro,
Raqqa,
attacked for,
extremist attackers,
attacking the people of Paris no answers,

only questions,

no pleas for peace,
only military police,
only guns and more machismo,
still no peace in the Middle East,

can we please get a little peace in the Middle East?

Can we please get a little peace here for that matter,
can we just have the love and let the hate evaporate,
uggh it's all so painful and so heartbreaking,
and I don't know how much more of this I can take!

And usually I can ignore it,
and just say it’s someone else’s problem,
but honestly this whole world is fct,
unless we find resolution and solutions for these problems.

Oh my God son,

Oh my God son,
did you hear,
there was another terrorist attack,
and again comes The Fear…

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆

Hollywood Hearts available worldwide 7/7/16

#orlandoshooting #pulseshooting #pulsenightclub #terrorist #isis #stoptheviolence #terroristattack #peace
RIP Peace...
m Jul 2016
I am constantly
craving
my own
destruction.

I want
to cut
to burn
to fight
to binge
to do anything
to make me feel
something.

I don't want this.

I'd rather
be happy
back there
again.

remember
when I was there?
does anyone miss me?
does anyone care?

before all this
before I wanted to die
everything was amazing.

I had everything
I had people
I had support.

I want that again.
m Jul 2016
July 3rd, 2016
10:42 pm

I can hear
fireworks
going off somewhere
in my town

And I wish
as each firework
explodes
and as they
give out  bursts
of sound
that they are instead a gun
putting holes
through my chest
head
stomach
anywhere
to relieve me
of the pain of living
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