I sit down at the chair of the dining table.
The sunlight shining in.
Giving it's warm colours to the dull metals of the room
It's light curled around the curves of metal.
It's hands curled around you.
When you danced in your ***** pajamas,
the light took you to my eyes.
The light, one of a shadow play, pictured you in my mind.
In the folds and camera of my eye.
You shone so bright.
A silhouette lined with light.
That's who you were when you danced in the sun.
A mere cartoon in front of my eyes.
Step out of the light.
No....no...
May I join you?
Join you in this dance.
So that I can see your face.
So that I can see, clearly the curves and the round cheeks of yours.
Your brown hair skiing across my face.
Bubbling laughter's fill the air.
You and me...
Dancing in the endless light.
Slowly....we take flight...
In the symphony of lights.

Sorry guys, I am just going through some stuff and I would have major shifts in thinking, in mood, in my attitude in my spirit in my heart.

So the poems and the meaning might change. And I am so sorry if you don't like frequent posts. And sorry for all the different ups and downs.

Like one time I am brave and ready and bold, then another time, broken, shattered, near to giving up....just bear with me! I would probably get better...soon.

"Stop!"
I screamed in the room of my mind.
My echoes, echoed in the emptiness of this room.
Shutting up the messy voices in my head.
Who is trying to get a place in my head.

"Who is who?"
I really don't know.
I fall for it's tricks sometimes.
It's cunning, slick, twisted hands grab on me.
And I fall into it.
Only to wake myself up.

"How can I live when I don't know who my voice is"
"How can I live when I don't know what is God's voice?"
How can I be such a failure....there you go again, falling into the traps of these lies.
And yet again......see....I just can't stop believing in those lies.
It tears me apart in the inside.
Careful to not break me on the outside.
So that people won't know the storm inside of me....
So that I would be alone.

"Stop being so stupid, foolish, distracted, and stop being such a failure....you are so stupid...you truly are..." I say as I speak to the mirror...

My heart being pressed,
my soul being crushed,
I am unable to breathe,
I am unable to stand,
what's happening to me!!!

Am I getting lost
or simply out of my mind?
what's rising within me?
a whirlwind of thoughts
or a whirlpool to drown me!!!

everything seems blue,
and i have no clue.
Can someone help me?
Can someone sort it out?
how to get these things out!!!

Fear, please don't embrace me.
Please don't come chasing after me.
Please don't.

Fear, please don't stop me.
Please don't make me to be afraid to even worship God...

Worthlessness, please don't replace my mirror.
Please don't take away my identity, the truth I hold onto.

Uselessness, please don't come and be my secretary.
Please don't be my frequent notifications on my phone, on my heart.

Unloving, please don't come and replace my heart.
Please don't keep captives my thoughts, my words, my actions.

No. I am not asking.
I am telling you.
To leave.

Stars streaked past.
Stars shining at an all time high.
Brighter than the lights in our eyes it shines.
We kissed, we danced.
Our fingers intertwined as the world around us collapsed.
Dancing and singing our favourite songs among tree tops, we danced towards the light.
Although afraid of heights.
We soared.
High above the failures and the depths of the sea.
High up in the sky in symphony.
My forehead touched yours.
And yours touched mine.
The winds of our hearts carried us as we danced away...the world becoming the room where we danced in before.
Where we met.
The stars becoming the light bulbs hanging in the dusty old room.
The space around us folded us in like an origami.
Things didn't make sense.
I wish I never find it.
I don't want to get lost in your gaze.
Lest I fall into the hole of your pupils,
lest I collapse when you leave.
Lest I tried to erase you from my memory.
Lest I lose you and I can't survive...
Let's...stay as friends...

I see the sun falling down.
It reminds me of you now.
Of me and you.

Always far apart.
Trying to find your heart.
We chase each other, endlessly.
Still, you are always out of reach.

I see you.
I know you see me.
And yet our fingers don't intertwine.
Yet my hands aren't around you till we die...

Oh how beautiful are those times!
When you were in front of me.
The distance between us dwindled.
The time when you were in front of me.
When you were away from that Earth of yours.

But soon after, you leave again.
Pulled by the centre of gravity again.
We had time to spare.
But it seems that fate didn't care.

Still today we run and run.
Chasing each other's heart.
I await for a day...where I can finally meet you at the same side of the Earth.
Where finally we could see face to face.
Where we can be together forever,
to never leave again...