I suffocated myself with the words I didn't say.

I can't help but feel as if I am in love with her The lingering touches
The hidden smiles
Private poetry, whispered in darkness
The unspoken confession of her true intentions
I want to know what makes her pure and what makes her a sinner
How can I break through the barrier that keeps love away from her

I want to write.
I want to write the things that my mind can't speak
the words that I can't directly say
the feelings that I can't express

I want to sleep.
I want to sleep for the rest of my life
and wake up beside you
with a smile on my face
sleeping sometimes helps

I want to cry.
I want to cry and let my feelings out
instead of me being silent
but deep inside crashing

I want to confess.
I want to confess everything to someone
Confess that I love them and I'm thankful that they've been a part of my life
but things just holds me back to let go
because I'm such a potato
I want to confess how much I like you
that you've been my crush
but pride is eating me
I don't want to look desperate

I want to be alone.
I want to hear the sound of silence.
I want the touch of the air against my skin.
All alone in a room where my mind is wandering
Alone not lonely,
but alone contemplating.

I want to unlove you.**
But how?

Sometimes
Silence works wonders
On the soul

I'm haunted by the thoughts that the fur ***** on my sweater will never meets yours again.
I might not show that I care but trust me I do
I probably shouldn't even say this because you won't believe it to be true
I don't want to as much as you but I can't hold my feelings back anymore.
I'm so sorry that I have to say this but I miss you.

Just hug me one more time so I can get it out of my system.
It ended in a flash so these chemicals haven't had their chance to leave.

I can't do it myself so please help.
I've gone weak and emotionless and I don't know what to do anymore.
I've stopped crying and it's weird because that use to be a daily routine.
Am I getting better? Or am I getting worse?
I use to be able to tell but now that I can't feel anymore, I'm not sure anymore.

So please hug me and help me so I can flush these chemicals and not feel clogged anymore.

I want to feel the skin on my knuckles split when my hands connect with glass
I want to see my hands shake when the pain sets in
I want to feel the metallic taste of blood on my tongue
I want to look at what I've broken
A mirror
My best friend's trust in me
A mirror
The smiles that used to light my sisters' faces A mirror
Every chance at love I've ever had
A mirror
I've broken much more than a mirror

Darling, I know that you are
Confused.
Upset.
Lost.
Out of control.
And don't know why.
Have you ever punched the wall just to hear the smash of your hand crunching against the hard paint?
Darling please, you don't need to.
Just take a breath and hug yourself instead.
To feel the twinge of pain that radiates from your knuckles to your fingers to your palms, and, if you hit hard enough, to your shoulder blades?
Darling please, don't hurt yourself.
Too many people have done that already
Have you ever taken your hand down and stared at your hand, amazed that no evidence of your pain and anger and confusion is even there?
Darling please, you aren't alone.
You just need to stop hiding.
Have you ever stared at your mirror and begged your reflection to tell you why you have this gaping hole within you and
Darling please
All you want is answers
Darling please
All you need is a reason
Darling please
All you need is love
Darling please
Remember that love is all around you.
You just need to lower your fist
Open your palms,
Turn away from the mirror,
And listen.