When I was five I learnt that wide eyes weren't wise eyes

When I was seven I learnt that tears are just wasted water

When I was nine I learnt that love is as dead as life

When I was eleven I learnt that rings can be broken

When I was thirteen I learnt that friends can only speak for themselves

When I was fifteen I learnt that death is a holiday

When I was seventeen I learnt that people can be used like tools

Now I'm 19 I realise that nobody is alive like you.

It's easy to leave dead things behind.

All these odd numbers find me loving them, out of empathy, not patterns.

But the sun shines through.

When I was four I learnt that there is no warmth like two arms around you

When I was six I learnt that laughter is mighter than the lie

When I was eight I learnt that it's easy to ignore what hurts you

When I was ten I learnt that everyone wants to smile

When I was twelve I learnt that my solitude was strength

When I was fourteen I learnt that we all will forgive

When I was sixteen I learnt the flush of lipkissed smiles

When I was eighteen I learnt that scars give words more truth
And the dawn came

The sun is beautiful

If I have to worry about if I'm replying to you too quickly and seeming over eager or something, the length of my texts being too long or the content of my texts being too weird, or the amount of texts I send you at once being too much because I'm scared I'll freak you out and annoy you by making you feel like I'm talking too much and won't shut up or I'm obsessed with you or something, then we are not really friends.

Could we please go back
to a few lines ago when
I think I made you smile.
At least you sent a emoticon
now you haven't replied since 12:53,
I know I've said something wrong.
So could we please
clear the history
and go back.

all i can hear are these words
trash
thats what she called me
she said she liked them more than me
how many others think that?
shes always haunted me
pushed me aside
its getting hard to deal with this

im going to take my life

Why must we contain
our bodies
from one another?

Why do we hide every inch in plastic so thick
it makes us ***** from the chemicals.
Why do we put up with everyone telling us
we are perfect
just the way we are
when in that moment we are covering up our lumps and bumps
with acidic powder that we have inflicted upon ourselves

why
does society tell us that we're wrong
just the way we are
that we need this cosmetic
and that?
and whats worse is,
we are society
we tell ourselves we aren't good enough
until we're thin
with *******
and a tiny waste
but big hips
and long legs
and big lips
and

It's too much
and I
for one
am done