Whenever I look at him,
I couldn't breathe.
He's taking my breath away with each stare,
each smile,
and my heart skips a beat,
and I gasp for air.
With each touch,
each kiss,
I feel like I am a second closer to death,
and each second, I feel alive.
Because if I feel like dying,
then I must've been alive.

Let me call you the king of my heart
Let me inspire you
As I thought
Let me bring you to an Oak forest
As the trees are the poorest
Let me burn you a fire
To warm your heart
Let me love you
A number of your footsteps
Let me say you a poem
However,
You have the one
Dearest of the fun time
I'd have carried you wherever you needed to go
Let me be the pilot of your dreams
& fly above the streams!

He trapped me in his arms,
my back against the wall.
Our lips only inches apart,
eyes staring to my soul.

I couldn't say a word,
for it might give me away.
I could feel my breath hitch,
couldn't trust what I would say.

"Do you like me?"
He said, along with a smirk.
I stared at him longingly,
not wanting to say no.

This man in front of me,
is the most dangerous person I know.
He could break me in a second,
and could leave me begging for more.

My knees are about to give in,
as I stare back at the face of the man I love.
I breathed a no,
wanting to take it back.

I hardened my gaze,
and took all my might to push him away.
He's the most dangerous person I know,
but I just couldn't look away.

When I started loving you, the rain started coming and didn't stop falling for years. It eventually turned into a storm and destroyed what was left of me.

The room I'm in became suffocating, and the walls and the ground became colder. The alcohol tasted better than what I feel, and I drink and drink, hoping that the cure for this madness is at the bottom of one of these bottles.

The days got shorter, the nights got longer, and I think the sun has lost its shine because I've been seeing dark clouds outside my window for a very long time. The night sky became starless, and I think the moon ran away? and I go outside and walk and walk every night on this empty street with that orange light thinking that maybe, just maybe, if I walk more, I'll get tired and I'll eventually wake up from this nightmare.

The tears didn't stop ever since, and the cuts became deeper. The blood from my skin became comfort, and the pain became better than anything else. I think my sanity has left me and I hear myself screaming. With hands on my hair, voices in my head, telling me I was wrong, and that I deserve all of this. They say that you are right for telling me those hurtful words, and I'm starting to believe them because maybe they're right?

My hands got shakier, and everything became unstable. The corner of the room became my safe haven, and my heart is wilder than ever, escaping from my rib cages, will go anywhere, anywhere but from here. I'm in a state where I don't know where I am anymore. I just keep on bleeding and bleeding and maybe one day, all of this will stop.

The screaming of my heart will stop. The blood will stop. The pain will stop. And then I will be able to look at you in the eyes and finally say, "I don't want you anymore."

But for now, let me rest my head on my knees, blood dripping from my wrists, sanity slowly slipping, and my heart losing.

He's on the edge, staring blankly at the dark abyss below.  Tears on his cheeks, broken heart in his chest, contemplating to end everything, wanting everything to just stop.

He's now inching closer and closer and my chest and lungs constrict tighter, air finding it hard to make its way down my throat. I ran. Ran towards him. I screamed. Screamed for him to stop.

I love this man, with all my heart. I'd do anything for him. He's the reason why I fought so hard against my mind to survive. He's the one who taught me that love is a choice, and no matter how much it gets hard, I'll choose him over and over again.

I'm choosing him again now.

He looked back at me, and he shook his head from side to side. He doesn't want me to come near him. Just then, he inched closer to the edge and with just one more step he will fall.

Panic rising, I did what I have to and ignored his protests. And when my fingers can almost touch him, he screamed. I stopped, tears already falling non stop on my cheeks while I shake my head.

Don't do this, I screamed. Don't do this to me.

I walked closer and gripped his shoulders. I looked at my hands and realized they were shaking. I was shaking the whole time. Fear. I am afraid of losing him forever. I gripped him tighter at the thought and begged him more.

And then, he pushed me.

He pushed me in the dark abyss. Before I could even react, I was already falling. The face of the man I love was the last thing I saw before everything went pure black. My chest tightened at the sight. Oh how I wish I could wipe those tears away, but his face were so far away from my hands.

I'm sorry.

I then felt the hard ground hit me. The silence screams on my ears, defeaning, everything was pitch black, blinding, the solid ground cold on my back, excruciating. I fought hard to breathe, frightening.

I then remembered my angel's face, and realized that this is all nothing compared to the pain he was feeling. My heart was about to burst and I screamed, knowing I can't do anything to help him.

I'm sorry, love.

He will jump. I know he will jump. I saw it in his eyes and I felt the fear on my heart. It was all real. This is real. And I don't know what to do.

I stood up, my whole body aching. But I have to.

Maybe, I'll just catch him from here. That's all I could do.