he said he didn't know why he kissed me that night
(a familiar line for me)
he tells me he loves me and wants to protect me
picks me up from parties when I am too drunk to move
makes silly sounds on his keyboard to stop my crying
plays board games with me until two in the morning when I can't sleep
he is a light at the end of the hallway that I am getting closer and closer to reaching
but he said he didn't know why he kissed me
-

My mom asks me, why is it
that I sleep so much
She questions if I think reality is good enough

I don't have the courage to tell her that
I prefer dreams
And I can't seem to muster up
the right words to say

reality is exhausting
and all I do is feel

I feel everything
whether intensely
passionately
and I don't know how much longer
I can take these emotions gnawing at my tongue
Or if I handle the scratching in the back of my throat
begging me to say how I truly feel

And I know better then to tell her
that in my dreams
are where I can meet
up with you

This fantasy
A timeless taunting
vision
of you and I
together

At least in dreams

I won't be tortured by the inability to touch you
I pull you in
tightly
as your willing to be swallowed
immersed
I'd be submissive to your touch

At least in dreams

I can listen to your heart beat
as you listen to mine
and my heart frantically drums at my rib cage
just from the thought of you
beside me

In dreams I can even leave small peaks
along your collar bone

I can intertwine our trembling fingers
and
leave
lazy traces
of me
over your flesh

At least in dreams

I can swallow your enchanting sighs
with our mingling lips
then use my fingertips
to study the rise and fall
of your hips

In my dreams
I will use my tongue to write poetry
permanently
along your satisfied skin

I know that in dreams
there's a chance

you'll love me.

I set an empty plate on the other side of the table
I’ve been expecting her all day, the least she could do is show up for dinner
I pour her some wine, I know she hates red
I write a card and lay out some flowers in case it’s something I said

It’s growing late so I lay out all of the dishes
I eat alone and my hopes diminish as I play our song with no one there to hear it
I even made mashed potatoes, her all-time favorite
I put the wrapped box with her name on it where I know she’ll see it

I end up drinking both glasses
Hell why not the bottle
Another year has passed and I can’t bury the sorrow
Of the choice she made not to wake up on the ‘morrow

Is it my fault she left?
She said I just wasn’t enough this time
But I tried my best
I’ve never been able to get the guilt off of my chest

Here I am once again trying to preserve as much sleep as I can for the next 4 hours 
Yet I close my eyes and my mind is still awake rushing with thoughts of you 
You used to be just a vision
Just an imagination I thought I would search my life looking for 
But you're real 
Never did I suspect it to be you or for myself to be so infatuated with every single detail about you 
It's weird thinking about a year ago before I even met you I spent nights thinking of you and writing about all the many adventures I'd have 
Although I have found you 
I do not have you 
Now what's the coincidence in that 
Maybe there will many other future "you's" that I wrote about 
But in this moment you are the poetry that runs through my head and flows so smoothly onto paper 
I do hope you are the boy I would speak so beautifully about in my writings 
And that one day fate will bring us together 
Or I hope that person I am suppose to be with is out there waiting for me just to run into him.

We think that  
when a lover inflates his loved one
he or she is failing to acknowledge their  flaws...

"Love is blind" we say ...
but it may be the other way around

You see ...

Love allows a person to see
the true angelic nature of another,
their halo,
the aureole of divinity.

Love permits
an extrasensory capability of looking deeper into the soul.

And for that reason,
Genuine love
could not be blind.