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 Aug 2020 mery
Aleksey
I wanted to end it all
So I stood at the edge of
a building 7 stories tall
I've a fear of falling from a great height
Yet in that moment I had no courage nor fright
As I look down, I imagine my flight
I was hoping to die...
To die in a blink of an eye

7 stories to end my story
I decided to end it gory
With a few seconds fall
So I stood at the edge of
The edge of ending it all.

The worried thought from a good friend
Put the thought of killing myself to an end
Now the fear of falling is back in my mind
The thought of leaving my family behind
Their cries echoing inside my head
Imagining their pain of knowing I was dead
So a few steps back I take
Hoping to, one day, forsake
This agonizing suicidal heartache.

A few months later
I think I'm all better
I'm done with all these emotional trials
I'm all smiles
Unfortunately all fake
How much more of this can I take?
One day I'm feeling numb
The next, to my emotions I succumb
I'm back to the beginning...
The beginning of the end.

I'm doing this hoping to find
A way to maybe change your mind
Since I have a hard time changing my own
Know that your pain is not set in stone
Think of your loved ones
Thinking of you
Think of all the pain you'll put them through
Think that it will **** them too.

I'm afraid I must admit
I regret not doing it
Next time I might commit
So a date was set
For another attempt.
 Jul 2020 mery
Sillo Anderson
Growth
 Jul 2020 mery
Sillo Anderson
I grew up in a home
Where tears built foundations
Pain kept walls up
And hurt maintained worth
Where lies covered you at night
And despair prepared you for a new day
I grew up in that home
And I found fear
I found hate
And I found regrets
That’s the home I grew up in
And no matter the length of my hope
Those walls kept me in alone
But death knew my worth
And gave a hand whenever I felt alone
But my grasps were never strong
And even death slipped away from I
And now I’m here waiting on something to call home
 Jul 2020 mery
abby
We are the ones who are hard to understand
We'll be the last ones in the movie theatre
because the ending scene made us cry
We'll stop to smell the roses
because they deserve to be appreciated
We are the ones who will take the time
to learn what keeps you up at night
We are the ones who will imagine
an entire future of adventures
with the people who show us love

We are the ones who will love you more
than we love ourselves
We will give you our strongest parts
in hopes that we can make things better
We desire to see you become the best you
to make sure that you always feel our love
We crave affection and appreciation
We give a piece of ourselves away every day
sometimes to people who don't deserve it
Our love is easy to take advantage of
and sometimes we don't get back
the love that we give away

When we hurt, we crumble and fall apart
We constantly have to put ourselves back together
We are more fragile than we like to give off
We carry our emotions on our sleeves
Our flaws have the ability to consume us
We aren't afraid to give you the world
but we are afraid to feel unloved
We want you to see what we see
We want you to understand where we're coming from

We are good people with good intentions
We are stronger than we believe
Not everyone can feel the way we feel
We feel too much, too often
We are not hard to love
We are something not everyone knows how to love
But you need to remember that
your worth does not change just because
no one is there to appreciate you, to remind you

You are not any less lovable
You are the most lovable person in the world
You are a light that the world needs
Your kindness is not your weakness
You do not need to change for anyone's acceptance
You do not need to stop giving love
just because you don't get any back
Your heart is the best thing about you

And one day when you least expect it
someone will notice you from across the room
and know exactly how to love you
They will think all of these things are beautiful
They will deserve the love you can give
They will fill the empty space in your heart
But for now, don't stop feeling
We are the ones who feel everything so deeply
We are the ones who can't give up because
We are the ones who will teach the world
how to love
We are exactly who we are supposed to be
 Jul 2020 mery
Grand Piano
Steps
 Jul 2020 mery
Grand Piano
Step 1: Get out of bed
Step 2: Look in the mirror
Step 3: Practice your smile
Step 4: Eyedrops to hide the red eyes
Step 5: Conceal the dark circles
Step 6: Breathe
The curtains are almost up
Step 7: Lock down the pain
Step 8: Ignore the weight on your chest
Step 9: Silence the screams inside of your mind
Step 10: Choke down the sobs
Step 11: Ignore the stinging in your eyes
Step 12: Swallow past the tightness in your throat
You’ve put on this show a million times
Step 13: Don’t let them see
Times up. Curtains up. Camera rolling
You know how when you’re not ok but you try so hard to pretend you’re ok that it becomes a ritual
 Jul 2020 mery
adriana
It just rained
Bullets
Puddles in the streets
Blood
Water falls down
Tears
 Jul 2020 mery
Charles Bukowski
safe
 Jul 2020 mery
Charles Bukowski
the house next door makes me
sad.
both man and wife rise early and
go to work.
they arrive home in early evening.
they have a young boy and a girl.
by 9 p.m. all the lights in the house
are out.
the next morning both man and
wife rise early again and go to
work.
they return in early evening.
By 9 p.m. all the lights are
out.

the house next door makes me
sad.
the people are nice people, I
like them.

but I feel them drowning.
and I can't save them.

they are surviving.
they are not
homeless.

but the price is
terrible.

sometimes during the day
I will look at the house
and the house will look at
me
and the house will
weep, yes, it does, I
feel it.
 Jul 2020 mery
SweetCindy
In Praise of Feeling Bad About Yourself

The buzzard never says it is to blame.
The panther wouldn't know what scruples mean.
When the piranha strikes, it feels no shame.
If snakes had hands, they'd claim their hands were clean.

A jackal doesn't understand remorse.
Lions and lice don't waver in their course.
Why should they, when they know they're right?

Though hearts of killer whales may weigh a ton,
in every other way they're light.

On this third planet of the sun
among the signs of *******
a clear conscience is Number One.
- by Wislawa Szymborska born 7/2/1923 (July 2nd is coincidentally my birthday) - died 2/1/2012.
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