how brave are the trees -
stripping themselves down
to let winter mangle their limbs.
hopeful for the summer time sun
to heal every bruise that wasn’t from love.
and how brave are the trees-
who will take the winded beatings
and the frosty, bitter kiss.
all to be greeted with apology flowers
whenever spring time finally hits.

i drank up all my liquor
and drank up all my money too.
i kept pouring and drinking
trying to make time pass
trying to make myself believe
i didn’t wanna hear from you
you

you see i don’t know how it happened
how i tripped over heart first
into your lap but you got me,
and yeah you got me
yeah you probably knew that.

i can’t shake you to your core.
so let me go, yeah let me go.

i keep having dreams
where my teeth are falling
right out of my head

i keep having dreams
where i am falling
and falling right to my death

i think there is something
hidden in my mattress
something waiting by my door

i’m an outlaw to my house
i’m not welcome anymore
by the ghosts who have yet to let go

tell me more
tell me more

about the sunshine forests that you
make up in your dreams or about kissing
the curve between the shoreline and the sea

kiss me while i sleep and hold me till
i can no longer see the shadows and
souls that are sneaking in to haunt me

tell me more.

sleep walking
sleep wandering
into beds that aren’t mine
baby i think about you all the time
wont you
come back for a moment
or two or three or four
you can pin me to the mattress
you can pin me to the floor
you can
kiss me till you get sober
and leave me hickeys till i’m black and blue
you can twist and shape and mold me
you can fix me
till i fit perfectly to you
fit perfectly for you
in everything you thought you wanted
and maybe something more
i can do it i can
do it
please open the door
so i can
sleep walk
sleep wander into
your bed late at night
baby tell me yeah alright
i can do it,
let me kiss you
goodnight.

goodbye.

when i was sitting right in front of you
twirling my hair between my fingers
biting my fingernails down to my wrist
did you stop right there and plan it?

when you kissed me with
your hands firmly placed
on both sides of my head
did you lace your touch
with the desperation  
i would feel when you eventually left?

did you know it all then?

when you slipped your fingers in real nice
and you shoved your tongue in real smooth
when i kissed you from the nape of your neck
to the corner of your ears,
did you know i would be the one to lose?

did you wanna see me shrivel up
and become a fragment or
some piece of dust that was left behind
when you rubbed your eyes, sighed
and decided i was what you wanted to conquer next

did you know it all along?
did you know it all then?

i have
six burns on my hands and wrists
that i am dealing with and
healing with
all on my hands and wrists.

it doesn't hurt anymore.
i used to be afraid of fire
like i was scared of thunder
kicking at my windowsill
at night when i was six.

now i can sleep with
both laying calmly at my feet
nothing scares me.

nothing hurts me like before
i am always the one asking for more
and i do it so it feels real.
i do it so i feel.

it becomes a glaring match
between me and the girl
on the other side of the island

we go at each other like
tiger cubs, too young to
know when we have sunk
our teeth in too deep.
no chaperone to break
us up and send us away
to our corners
we keep going until
one of us has ended up laying
cold on the floor

it has become
a staring contest
between me and the orange
bottles as its fine print shouts
at me the signs i have
to look out for
just so i can be sane

safe
alright.