i have
six burns on my hands and wrists
that i am dealing with and
healing with
all on my hands and wrists.

it doesn't hurt anymore.
i used to be afraid of fire
like i was scared of thunder
kicking at my windowsill
at night when i was six.

now i can sleep with
both laying calmly at my feet
nothing scares me.

nothing hurts me like before
i am always the one asking for more
and i do it so it feels real.
i do it so i feel.