there is this one thing that i want to say to you

the word that i was unable to say before we depart

MY MAN
i hate you from the bottom of my heart

the you who brought laughter to my childhood

and brought pain to my past

the you who destroyed my present
and killed my future

the you who will be happy seeing me leave

the you who promised me till death do us part..
yet end up breaking my heart..

the you who chose to live with another girl

the you who will surely regret for the rest of your life

for you who have chosen a girl whose hand is secretly tied to another man.

Because I don’t deserve any
I learned to lie
Am evil know I should die
Forgive me my God for all my life I lied
All I could ever think of now is a blade or a knife
To end this lonely night
I am mad and fright
I just want to rest for life
This should settle everything
For I am just a thing
A Doll for all of things

They say am boyish
& am stylish as a guy
Does that mean am cool?
When I said I love you
& you know it’s true
Am I a bad friend?
When I listen to you
Every time you complain
Do you need someone else to hear your pain?
When I lean on you
& cried on your shoulder
Am I a bother?
Every time we discussed about us
Do you feel so disgust?
Even after the rain
& all we have is pain
Are we not deserving to gain?
If love can’t be found between the line
& we never cross the line
Friend can we start again from the starting line?

Among the door of chances
Never choose regret
Open your heart
Close your eyes
Kneel down and pray
For a better answer

How amazing it is that I had a brother
Although he’s always a bother
I wonder why I can’t love him just like any other
He’s cool and chubby
With his face sleeping like a baby
He smiles when he’s asleep
And got mad like a black sheep
I just can’t treat him like a ****
I love my brother and it hurts to see
How he act as though he cannot see
How precious his life can be
If only he will try not to turn his back and flee
I believe he will love everything as much as I do

With loud voice I see and heard
Moms cry and tears she shed
Tears of grief and sadness
That even I can’t fathom the loneliness
Of a wife losses her husband
With her shaking hands I found
A fragile old woman’s life
And the traits of goodness of her being his wife

I accidentally fall from the rooftop
Even though I grip so hard I can’t stop
Falling hard from the third floor
Made me feel like am in a horror
I fell asleep for a year
It’s a coma that some people fear
It’s somewhat like a spear
That in instant will make you disappear

While my body lay on the bed I heard them cry
&they; talked to me, they did tried
As I heard them cried
How I wish I died

There is this someone’s voice
It made my heart rejoice
From then I made a choice
Just a bit more I will hear his voice

Every time he touched my hand
✓ the pulse monitor in his hand
I feel my heart skip a beat
I hope he didn’t heard my heart pump in my hand

Is this love?
I hope am not in love
If so, I might end up broken hearted
Because I don’t know until when I can be able to calm my heart

The next day I heard another voice and says
Come on! Breathe and stay!
It's hard to breathe and it's killing me
From then w/o knowing everything changed

Two more years have passed
The time clicked so fast
It's like a magic spell casts on me
Loud cheering voices awaken me

Even though I can now open my eyes
I shut it anyway to hear his voice
I tried searching using my hearing
As to whom the voice I fell in love with belong

Alas! I heard and ask his name
I found myself no shame
But then I saw a frame
They looked just like the same

This man in front of me
And the man on the frame in front of us
They were brothers and both doctor,
Isn’t it cool?
This man phones ring and he answered the call

That’s when I realized
That this man is just a new
And the man on the frame is the one I knew
The person whom I fell in love more times than a few

I saw the two dates written on the picture
It’s the info’s my mind can’t seem to picture
Or maybe I just don’t want to figure
The truth behind the picture

Then that man pops out beside me
And say my brother now resides in heaven
He’s famous and he enjoys life more than anyone else
And was filled with love more than anyone else

There may be this one regret
Because my brother fell in love but cannot convey
Because the girl he loves is on the verge of death
As he touched her hand in heavy breathe

Hearing this man says those words
Made my heart as hard as ice
As cold as a bloke of ice
Now we can never meet in the eyes…

Love has always been a part of me
When I met that man I thought
“Yes, it might be him“
My Mr. Right

Seeing him happily walking in front of me
I thought “aww he’s just right in front of me, what a great day”
No wait, I look again, I saw him really happy
Taking his time walking happily

Walking happily with the girl beside him
So just like that I got mad and run away
Without knowing the truth I hated and resented the girl
Poor girl, unknowingly I hated her

To my Dearest Friend
To whom I love
& will love for the rest of my life
You’re the best person I’ve known so far
& will be forever if seasons won’t change you
& even if it does end up changing you
I better change myself too
So that I could walk side by side with you
So that I could laugh, cry & smile with you
Even if the distance depart us
We will still be together sharing the same sky
If you’re lonely & want to cry
But can’t show to just anyone
Look up! Because every night
Stars have always been my companion
Who calmed me down
& made me think that am not the only one suffering alone
God is good after all
He answers our plead in a very unexpected yet amusing way
My Best Friend whom I love,
I always pray to him for your health &safety;
That wherever you are,
He will guide you back to us…
Happy Birthday Bhezt!

“Whisper & he will definitely hear”

If ever we depart
Please smile for me
Even if im not here
As long as you think of me
I will surely Live On

Despite the evilness inside
Here I am looking from afar
Watching as you go down the stairs
In a very long white gown
I saw water
Flowing down your cheeks
I bet it’s warm
Because it’s pure
That I want to touch it myself
Seeing you travel that path
I thought its fine
You are in my domain after all
The field that everyone is afraid to walk into
I am a no ordinary creature
I am in a myth
I was also in a superstitious belief
Every mankind knows me
Good and evil
They were all afraid of me
I am a king
A soul hunter
And because I am here gazing as you walk
I think you’re evil too...
If not,
How can you mesmerized a devil like me?

With the dagger pointed on his chest
A threat of danger advances to his front
By the stranger he thought needs a helping hand
All the possibilities he thought at the moment
Only a question came up
Will this be my end?
For my freedom to be taken away by someone I not know
Have they thought life was that low?
That by just a single blow
I might flow
And die in a moment for them just a show?
Have I done something that I will be forsaken?
For all I knew I have lived my life with joy
Although with regret I didn’t enjoy
The trouble im in now, am I just a toy?
For these two strangers of convict,
Willing to take my life away?
For a penny they thought I can give away
When In fact it’s a project I can’t give up halfway

Ridding on the Wind

As new born life comes
And replaces the old life on the ground
The remains never really stay
As life depart
Its like the soul riding on the wind
You'll never know where the wind will take you
Its either will return you to where you've always been
Or take you to your last destination
When you're riding on the wind
You will never get bored
But you will get scared instead
It will flashback all the things you have done
& all the things you haven't done
All the things you want done
& all the things you don’t want to do but have done instead
When you're riding on the wind
Happiness, Sadness, Anger & Regret
You'll not understand the head or the tail of where those emotions were from
You may have the idea but the meaning behind it is all unknown
When you're riding on the wind
Whether you like it or not
Seeing your love ones cry
Hearing them shout
Knowing all the pains you have given them
Yet happy being with you around
You’ll helplessly and a bit hopelessly
Nodding as you go to the end of the line
Abiding in the wind with bitter and sweet tears of joy