Here I lay, trapped in dismay, the waters rising, I've lost my way, you've run from me, I knew you'd flee, I wish you'd seen the good in me.

I know I am broken, the cracks I can see, I should've tried harder to be who you need, that person is gone, a life lost at sea, you know who I am now, you know the true me, you must understand that this love cannot be, for i am the demon and the demon is me.

(20 minute poetry)

We're supposed to open the air vent,
cement ourselves to the oxygen supply?
and pray tell me why?

I want to float in the endless avenue of an infinite space
live in the vacuum with enough room to manoeuvre.

But we've been conditioned to breathe and think it's an automatic reflex,
an impulse they say.

Sour thoughts to start and my day starts this way,
they're ******* the life from me
and keeping me in poverty

in the underground sea we all drown together
tethered to a millstone
ground into bonemeal
fed to the slaughter
wholesale
and
when those rivers of Babylon run dry they'll **** on the sand,
landed gentry they may be
but no touching the forelock for me,

just leaving somewhere which is just about anywhere
and everything I am,
sticking to a plan which is as yet unclear
holding on for dear life even though life is cheap and
somewhere is just where I weep.

Fragile are the pages we turn, not truly knowing the severity of tight pressed pages

the way you played my heart string
send me to the abyss
shattering my heart into pieces.

you're killing me slowly
with your beautiful deathly diseased mind
and i'm your slave.

you're making me high in ecstasy
with your red rose words
and i'm addicted to your.

When we are children,
life just goes on...
forever,
days like...
years,
sighing and hoping,
to be "big" soon.

I look back so fondly on those amazing, memories,
wishing to be back there,
to see as I do now.

If we had only known,
that this was our time to stop,
and REALLY see,
appreciate it,
catch glimpses of everything,
snapshots saved for when we really,
need them.

Perhaps in age we would slow down more,
appreciate every single second,
like we did then.

I have no real regrets,
because pain and suffering
taught me love and patience.

I was always in turmoil inside,
I wasn't aware-
enough,

Until a day when everything,
became too clear,
it blinded me,
& broke me down,
till I submitted,
and finally I see the real beauty in life.

I only wish,
just a tinge of bittersweet,
that I had been,
able to always,
allow what is,
and just...
let it be.

Cherie Nolan © 2016