I am a ghost
Do you see me?
I hide in the shadows
I fear you.
My essence is cold
The heart of steel.
Fear rages within me
Drawing me in with its astringent pull.
Fear is my home
I abide there
Like a shadow in the cupboard beneath the stairs
Long lost.
What hope is there
In dispair?
In the cold dead of night I wander
Feeling the kinship of the dark.
Slipping past trees and alleys I taste fragments of life,
A wrapper that once contained chocolate...
Or something sweet
They draw me to them and I inhale that which once was.
What is left for me
But the night?

Hello my friend
I am glad you are here
We have much to discuss!
I have missed you
While you were away
Wandering.
It is hard to be
When the spirit is elsewhere

I walk where I fear to tread
I bathe in the darkness
Surrender to its cold embrace
And find home in its arms

Will you follow me?
You, who lives in the sun
Who walks in joy
And relishes the dawn

We are One
Two sides of the same coin
Joined but facing away
United in experience

Bring your joy into the night
As I bring my calm to the day
We are One you and I
We bathe in the same pool

I left home
Aged 10
Put on a bus and away I went
Gone to oblivion
Into the void
Mum standing on the platform
Growing smaller as the bus drove away
Already gone.
Now a man, I return to that bus
Where that boy should have never been.
I take him in my arms
And hold him,
I will not let him go!
He can come home to me,
Stay with me in my home-heart.
We can be together, friends, brothers, partners, companions at arms.
You are safe now with me my boy!
I will not let you go.

Hello, my name is fear,
Can you hear me?
Hello, I am despair,
I have a message...
I am rage,
I wish to tell you something...
Are you listening?
If you listen carefully
I will whisper a secret to you
Which no one on this world knows.
But you must listen.
To do this, find stillness in yourself
Find the eye of the storm
Find the courage not to run
To distraction or pleasure
But to sit
Or stand
Or walk
Into the raging inferno of your being
With your eyes open,
Your heart open,
Full of curiosity!
And wonder...
"Who made this?"

Today I stood for a hour beneath a tree
The rain steadily falling
Cascading. Bouncing through the leaf canopy
Of golden ocher
Leaves fell
Rain fell
And I was at peace

Stillness that I have not felt for... Many months

I awake to a cool splash on my nose
It runs down my fave and I wipe it away
The forest sings to me
A gentle pitter patter melody
Leaves greet the earth
And I am still


A leaf lands on my arm

Holled up
locked
enclosed
I will not leave the house today.
Why?
as if you need to ask
why?
well,
it is
because.....
well ....
I have no answer.
Something may happen!
what you ask
something ,  that would be bad
So you are scared you ask
Yes I am scared
but scared is not the word
encased in fear would say it better
it sits in my stomach like a black ball
clouds my mind like a fog
the surf is good today. I could go to the beach
but it is outside
and something might happen