It is my time of day when I must breathe.
Anxiety knocks at my door
Calling me to prayer
Like the bells of an old steeple.
Chanting slowly again and again
"Oh ****, oh ****, oh ****!"
Reminding me that I need my god.

*Breathe and go inside my friend
Be still amidst this storm.
Breathe and let your soul be nourished
By the free flowing waters of faith,
Clarity and peace

Alone I am touched.
My core, rock.
"Do not breathe"
but I cannot not!
Presence touches me,
the twine loosens.
My belly fills like the surging in of the tide.
Light floods in,
colour, humanity.
And i am alone
but present with the world,
feeling my veins
my breath
my nose...

What trepidation
these first few breaths,
as I step from the shuttle
into this new world.
The atmosphere tickles my skin
and i look around at my new home...
life
feeling
colour
earth
depth
sensation

Who is this person who sits here?
I will like to know!
There is joy inside
and excited fear too.
I feel a whole man
newly woken from sleep
skin recently shed
eyes newly open
emerging from his rock
cave
prison
walking into the light
blurry eyed
but alive
and
whole
once
again

tell me why
I am sat here again.
encased in glass
with my ear to the window
wondering what will happen next

tell me why I am here sat
unable to move
barely breathing
for fear of life
sat eternally emotionless
unable to face my fear

tell me why
i am still here
my tasks are not simple
but neither are they overtaxing
tell me why I  cannot engage

okay
listen my friend
this is why
you are not ready
you are not capable
you are not right

you are too small
for this world
it will swamp and envelop you
if you dare
to brush past it

so stay here with me
safe and sound
in this quiet solemn place
we call home
and be at peace

let me breathe, i will breathe
my breath takes me through the glass
breathing deeply into my belly
I will let my prana carry me beyond the limits
set by myself long ago.

The breath will engage me
enlighten me
nourish me
give me food
and safety

I will try to find a home there

Chasing rainbows on a sunny French afternoon
Gritty sand dried between my toes.
Spoke over lunch of salad and bread.
Harsh reflections in my head;
Memories of times gone by,
Regrets brush past me like a lullabye.
Soothing me away from life
Drawing me into their own sweet strife.

Lest i make my stand Ill fall,
Swirl like so many into that dark pool.
Decend and spend my whole sweet life
Choked by thoughts which cut like a knife.
Did I do right or did i do wrong?
Who will say when all is done?
But did I live I will ask myself
at the end when all is to dust.

Here I sit
Astride my computer
Held in its gaze
Unable to draw away
For fear
That i may miss
Some small titilation
Or item of interest.

I sit here
And feel
Slowly
Slowly
Less
Me
And more like
My screen.
A souless avatar,
A mindless hologram
Composed of
Ones and zeros

I commune
With my
Digital peers.
Empty as
A jar
Which once held
Homemade jam.
I feel incomplete.

Silently I sit
A little closer
To myself.
Covered with
Emotions scars
And battered
Beaten
Torn
apart

In the ash
Burnt pit of despair
I find my fear
Dipped in the blood of my ancestors
My blade greets me
I am whole
a man
amongst men
My bones echo back through the centuries
Through the earth,
Mountains,
Rivers...
Carrying the spirit of the land
To rejoin the souls of old
With those now standing tall.
A robin sings
and moves from branch to ground
Hunts
Fearless
Protective
Arisen from ash
Pit
Harmony