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Jane Apr 2020
you held my hand under yours,
as you shifted between gears.
"i love you" the words spilled out,
it felt right, it felt safe.

i was never one for short lived romances,
but that isn't what you promised me.
"i love you" you repeated,
making sure i felt the security.

but the calls became shorter,
and i felt the tone turn cold.
"i love you" i said with a hole in my heart,
but you said it back and that was enough.

i wait on the text that never arrives,
i know you've been really busy.
"i love you" three of the only words,
you managed to say to me today.

maybe i'm not enough for you,
it's starting to feel like you're bored.
"i love you" i'm saying it because i mean it,
why are you saying it?
Jane Jul 2019
i click her name
i'd give anything to hear her voice

ring ring
-please pick up the phone

ring ring
-it's just me, i need to hear your voice

ring ring
-why are you always ignoring me?

ring ring
-maybe i should just hang up

ring ring
-you aren't going to answer, are you?

ring ring
-i just want to talk

ring ring
-i feel lonelier than before i thought about you

ring ring
-a single tear runs down my face

ring ring
-why am i not good enough?

ring ring
-i end the call

i pretend she's busy
but i know she's not

but i need to lie to myself
because the truth ******* stings

she doesn't want to talk to me
because i am not enough
Jane Mar 2019
You'd think I'd learn, I never do.
I just can't see a world without you.
You'll leave again, and I'll let you go.
Yet a part of me will always know.

That you'll come back, and all is fine.
That I'll be yours, and you'll be mine.
But it won't last, it never does.
It's just the same as it always was.

Then you'll leave again, and break my heart.
It's no surprise, I knew from the start.
That you'd leave again, you always do.
But I can't see my world without you.

J.S
Jane Oct 2018
Nights like there remind me of the times  

You told me you’d always be here

And how I now find myself stuck alone

Staring at the ceiling and wishing for something

That can make me feel.



You were like a drug, addictive, manipulative,

And every single time our lips parted, I was just waiting

For the next high, for our lips to become one

Just one more time, I just want to feel that,

One last time.  



You’ve told me time and time again

That you just need to find a way to fix yourself,

But I can’t find a way to understand  

Why you can’t see how much easier it would be  

If you had someone to fall back on.



Don’t blame me for how I feel,  

I’m sorry I wasn’t enough to help take at least some

Of that pain that you feel away,

But you do not have the right to say I never tried,

Because I never gave up.
Jane Apr 2018
How does she make me feel?
Let's start with alive. She makes life seem worth living.
She makes me smile.
Nobody can make me smile like this girl.
When my phone lights up, so do my eyes.
Oh, and my heart.
It skips that beat, the one that reminds me I'm alive.
She makes me giggle.
I don't giggle.
It's her. She changed me.
It's almost as if she takes away the sadness,
even if it's only temporary.
She helps.
She's all I want, and she makes me feel desperate,
because I long to only see her smile,
just as much as I long to feel her lips upon mine.
She makes me feel okay.
That's all I've ever wanted,
To feel okay.
So there you go.
That's how she makes me feel.

— The End —