As I grey into vibrant colors
The world around me crumbles
Piece by piece you devour my soul
And seal me with demons of my past

The paleness of my skin shows that I surrender
My blood drawn to write my apology
Blade, my pen

All the nights of screaming
All the nights of dreaming
All the days of being terrified of you
Are supposed to be over

You haunt me in my dreams
Shadowing me in my reality
The terror playing back in my eyes
Every
Single
Day

Is it right
Maybe not
This ache to write
Is it all for naught
Merely a false rite
But it ties the knot
In my plight
One shot
At your delight

I move towards you,
But you evade.
Like a rainbow.

There is no you,
Just an idea.
A unicorn.

The slow flash of blue
On a touch screen
That indicates

There's nothing
More to scroll
To.

I tell you
That you feel like home
I ask if that is too strange to say
You tell me
Not at all
That to be honest
You feel the same.

An ocean away
Can't keep our problems at bay.
It felt surreal holding my ticket
Just ten days ago.
A simple piece of paper
With simple black, blue, yellow, and red ink
And simple words and letters.
But this piece of paper whisked us a world away.
Took us to an island
Filled with people I didn't know
Places I've never been to
Feelings I wasn't accustomed with.
It was supposed to be an eighteen day escape
A trip to relax and, well,
Let go.
& to some extent it still is.
I've still got time to go to the beach,
Feel the waves lap at my feet,
And be somewhere other than home.
But reality has to come back into view somehow
Some day
In some sort of way.
It just always has to.
& with reality comes problems.
& with problems come worry.
& with worry comes feelings and choices
That I don't want to contend with.

Sitting in the dark
With not but a melancholy thinking
A spark in his hand, a smoke in the other
All the while, on loneliness, overdosing.
But deep inside there is a single gleam
A light at the end of the tunnel
A bit of overwhelming joy,
What sends his heart into a tumble.
A thought of time to come
And a smile to have.
A time which he holds dear,
And a time in which he can laugh.
To hold one he loves so close,
One who sends joy from head to feet
In a moment can put him to sleep
Or make his heart jump with a kiss so sweet.

Oblivion is the pit of this ravine
And I'm holding onto a feeble vine for dear life
You screamed, "Don't let go!"
My hands are losing its grip
Then you toss me a knife

Nowhere is the destination of this path
Still, I'm trying to find the right way
You said, "Don't get lost!"
My vision becomes hazy and unfocused
Then you give me the broken compass of yesterday

Pain is the entity waiting on the other side
I sink my feet deeper onto the floor
You whispered, "Don't leave me alone."
My fingers no longer hold the keys
Then I see you opening the door

These feelings need to die
Because they aren't doing me any good.
They've already grown roots-
Holding onto the deepest part of my mind.
& it *****.
It really really *****.
Cause it's all I think about.
It's all I see when I turn around.
& I know, oh, I know,
How dangerous these thoughts can be.
So I'll grab a knife to
Cut out these silly little feelings.
I'll take a hammer
And nail my heart up.
I'll layer bricks high
Just to keep you out of sight.
& though it might hurt just a tad,
It's probably better this way.