it gnaws on my brain rabidly,
with its razor-like teeth

what is it?
i don't know

all i know is that it makes my breath catch in my throat
as if it's being held there by taloned claws,
my heart beating as though it's being used as a drum

and this...this thing
haunts my dreams

it causes nightmares
of losing everyone i love

it also takes my will to live
and smashes it between its palms,
so that my mind is whirling

but is void of the ability or motivation to take action

what is this creature?
how can i defeat it?
surely this is not a part of me

but it seems like
no matter how much ice i press to my skin
no matter how much control i have
no matter what medication i'm on,

it returns

and in returning,

steals my mind

I love when we lie down together at night
Exhausted from the weight the day has put on us
You turn to your left and I follow close behind
Wrapping my right arm around you while my left hand is on your sweet head
My favorite part of the day soon follows
Your breaths become deeper
Your chest rises high and falls so slow
Your muscles begin to relax causing a twitch to travel from your toes to your fingers
Small grunts escape from your mouth as your body tries to fight its rest
Soon, your body is still
All I can hear is the air being pulled in and pushed out of your lungs
Your body is now in peaceful slumber
Resting for tomorrow's day
I then close my eyes
Thinking of how thankful I am that you place your tired body in my arms every night and how abundantly blessed I am
to always be the last to fall asleep