I'm not waiting for anything
Though that's not really true
What am I missing anyway
Only the last romance

I can't start what can never end
At least not until I'm willing
I'm acting like such an adult
Can you love a child?

I'm not detached anymore
The lake is mine now
I finally decided I belong
I see the path is you

Walking alone is being free
My thoughts know no distraction
It's as if everyone agrees with me
If only I could

I want to show you around
I have to not be afraid
It's not like flying in a plane
It's losing you

I forgot how it all works
I think I need you to say it
I'm can take it from there
But I can wait

Drawn by the hand of still water
Grace and mercy
Unblemished by man
Next to it we walk
Hand in hand
Soon to be baptised
As we take the next step
To discover what lies within
The murky jewel
The mystery of its motion
How we long for its power
And its life to be joined with our own

You have a heart made of glass
Everyone can see how you live
But it is too easily broken
By a heart made of stone

I entered without sound
Everything about you was there
But because I am light
I did not break into your home

Whatever the world may see
It is not how you feel
But to hide ourselves
Is to be always be alone

You said you felt the shards
As I left to rejoin the night
But it was not blood that spilled
Only love deeper than your own

I will soon return my love
When the moon lifts the sun
So you may find your way
To the dreams I have sown

You believe as do birds not to sow away
The winter harvests as does the summer
A thief tried to sell you your own jewelry
You said your soul wasn’t a raven or a soldier
He was puzzled by that but still he lingered
You clinched your fist tightly around his voice
And only then could he hear himself breathe
You didn’t care if he died, that was his choice
There is no sense in convincing an old man
Did you think he waited that long for you?
He didn’t want to think about it anyway
It brought him into the wrong space of view
So where does that leave you, without a jacket?
The way you pray should be the way a bird flies
It’s not something I would talk about too much
To speak of it is the way a false prophets lies

Everything I want from you
is on the inside
I want to touch your heart
touch your mind
And at night I want to find
the feeling I get
when your body becomes mine

Everything you see in me
is on the outside
I stare at you with my eyes
stare with my mind
You knew before the sun went down
the feeling you had
was to decide what to believe

Even though I was close to you
only echoes replied
I tried light a candle, then you whispered
Silencing its glow
You wanted me to know
The darkness
is where life begins for you

Beauty without empathy
A smile without depth
A thank you without sincerity
Your believing heart is out of breath
You are chasing a mirage
An oasis of fantasy
But you will know its breadth
When kindness wears no camouflage
And deception knows no honesty

They said read between the lines
I’ve known you so long the lines are gone
Somebody asked me to walk straight
I can’t seem to do it anymore
So I decided to write my own
Maybe I’ve written too many things about you

I was hoping we could move past all of this
I don’t need a mystery to love you
Maybe you can’t forget what you think you are
A woman who hides behind her face
But I’ve seen what is behind your eyes
And I believe in that more than you do

I have to let it all out of me
I wanted you to know everything
Even though you’re not here
I know you believe in all of it, every word
So I’m going to say it, even if white walls
cannot feel the colors that only I knew

I’m just trying to tell
If you’re waiting for me
We had a drink once
but time wasn’t ready
Things have changed
I wonder if you’re alone
You always seem so strong
Like your heart has a home

I wanted to see the water run
but it was dry to the bone
When I think back on that day
I remember the color of stone
But it was something strong
laying side by side of each other
I wonder if that’s how we are
hard hearts waiting for the water

All it takes is bravery to ask
I just want to see you again
You showed me your smile once
I thought I’d made a new friend
But what we all want is more
and we’re afraid of chance
The dead weight of the past
floated by with our last romance

The thing is I emptied the river
It’s too fast to get too deep
It’s better to leave something
shallow enough for you to sleep
I have to be able to see you
and not expect you to drown
If only you would think of me
when the sun goes down

The only thing that approaches
is the direction in which you think
You’ve heard every emotion speak
trying to take things too seriously
But the choice now is only about you
and the bottle you decided to drink

I can’t listen to anyone
not when they trample my mind
There is nothing to convince you
except your birth was not like mine

Every woman I know is equal now
but their voices anguish themselves
Don’t talk to me about levels
or the way I held you back
It was nothing but the way we lived
and I’m the one holding a shovel

You have to decide what you are
taking pictures or content to stare
What else can it be when we can’t live
without a memory first before experience
Tell me how you will ever remember
if all that matters is that you were there

I’m going to laugh now
it is not my place to pretend
I ask nothing of you or my son
we are riders without a compass
But what I felt today
was a voice crying to be the one

It always happens that way but I don’t know why
I try to understand but my past gets in the way
Then one day I don’t think about it even if I notice
I wonder why it took so long to want you to stay

I always find myself but it takes too much time
I don’t have an opinion now until the sun goes down
I finally realized you were just trying to be yourself
You don’t hide from anyone and do it without a sound

I’m trying to catch up
Even though I started before you
Watching you invent a new world
Makes me want to live in it too

I decided dreaming wasn’t real anymore
I don’t want to sleep hoping to get to know you
I’ll just think it through without asking what for

How much older must I be
Before I catch up with you?
Watching you ignore the world
Makes me want to ignore it too

I’m going to take my time now and again
If the clouds are out then it was meant to be
I’m not sure what I’m saving my smile for
Nothing old is new and being new is me

I’m trying to catch up
Even though I started before you
Watching you invent a new world
Makes me want to live in it too

I don’t know why I should change my clothes
You can’t reject me no matter how you say it
Swimming in the deep end is still living my life
You live under water but you can’t walk on it
I once believed that you could
But sailing across too many horizons taught me well

I’m not telling you what to do with me
You can’t know with someone who prefers to row
The waters of my birth remain close to me now
I have found my place and it is better that you know
If only that you could
But watching me sail away is the story only I can tell

An old sailor learns how to love a memory
What he once held close has become who he is
Never fear the strength of one who weeps freely
You asked yourself for such a heart and here it is
If only that your heart could
But the sails I raised because of you finally fell

An angels breath burned my bridges down
There's not enough faith if you don't cross
I was given the one chance to linger in town
Walking with voices offering to take me across

Playing with matches unable to find my way
My conscience knelt in a closet where I grieve
I pray alone as the sword decides who stays
She hid her beauty inside the empty sheath

I turned my back to gaze upon never again
But how can I say goodbye to all that I know?
I lied in my prayers though she was my friend
It was only sin that made me happy long ago

I can only believe what my soul tells me to
To every candle I ask the same question
Is it that I have always known what to do
Or are my bridges an angels reflection?

I wanted to see a swirling ocean
with swells that rip me away
instead it was silent,
almost at a loss as how to live
the way you were
when you told me how sad life was

You couldn’t see leaves falling
or snow melting
or flowers wilting
or summer ending
without thinking of tomorrow
like a garden that never was

But we decided on a sunset
and how it never says goodbye
melting into the bay
painting the sky
no matter how long the night
the morning is what the past never was

Somebody left you in a forest
It’s not the first time it happened
Except before it was an abandoned road
Once the freeway to your heart, but now
Only asphalt and leaves breaking a promise

But that is where you must begin again
There was never any plan
Every time you think back you realize
Being lost was never being found
That is how it was with other men

Sunlight hiding from a shadow
Leaves clinging to cold air
I felt as if I’d passed you once
Our eyes met for a moment, then nothing
A country road only knows tomorrow

You pretend to know where you are
You can describe it but not why
You became someone instead of something
I wanted that something to be me
But now you know something bears no scar

I met her somewhere in the cold
We were there for the same reason
Why else would we be there
She approached me expectantly
Did she just want a way home
Or a road to my heart
She was frozen
But I could see all her colors inside
She would melt soon enough
Would there be anything left
Or just a puddle for me to wade in?

She said I made her think deeply
She didn’t like it very much
Still, I would convince her
Then I’d laugh it off
It made her upset
Why did I toy with her like that
She said you’re not serious
Even though you act like it too many times

I told her to stay humble
Let me be your ego
It’s not that difficult for me
I  have enjoyed my own immeasurably
But I can thaw out your doubts
And nobody will know my strength has become yours

But she didn’t like that
She didn’t want that
She refused to consider that
Because that was relying upon a man
And she swore it would never happen again

But as the cold made her teeth chatter
My arms flowed all around her
The thin blood thickened with desire
It was a matter of survival
Use me if you want to live
We can settle up tomorrow
If it was only a moment then I have plenty
I don’t need another one
I don’t have to be the only one
People don’t live like that anyway
Freezing
Thawing
Freezing
Vowing never again
I don’t like that
I won’t consider that
I will refuse that

Still I want to help you
Don’t ask me why
It will only seem to be about me
For what pleases the eye is never selfless
Only possessive
But yes you are beautiful
Why would I want it any other way?

she said i can't believe how you've gotten over me
it's because you haven't changed
somehow you got over me when we were in love
and now it's been so long
our memories have changed
still you want me to feel the hurt
but you didn't walk away from a wilting flower
instead I was a rock swarmed by too much rain
you didn't know it then
even at the bottom of a raging river
there is no loss great enough to make me drown
your disappointment in me now is only in yourself
if you cannot destroy someone then what are you?
is that the question you bring to me today?

the words floated towards her ears;
and though they were a whisper,
though not so much to her;
onward they flew,
like an arrow in search of an apple;
as i watched its unbending advance,
intent upon its true aim,
i prayed an eagle would sense its prey
and by its tyrannical claws,
sharpened for battle,
my insults would be given a stay,
dragged away for just recourse,
like a judge halting a widow’s creditors;
but alas my safe harbor of regret
was not soon enough in its valor,
as the apple i loved,
a beautiful gift of nature,
shattered
bursting loudly,
into the tears that exist only for me;
no they would not spare her,
not my words
not her tears
for once sent,
they could never repent,
and once wept,
they would never forget

Every day begins the same, coffee or a soda
It’s the way she lets the sunshine in
Too many times she’s seen the end
She says she’ll wait for the right day
Until then she walks alone while the sun sets again

She doesn’t miss snoring or cleaning the tub
Not the type of girl to give in
She would do it for the right kind of friend
Remembering the day she sent him away
But time makes him seem different than other men

She’s not a lady in wait
That’s no way to live
But the moon said it’s not so bad
I always wait for you

Her fingers fidget around her last cigarette
She wants to quit but not without him
Her family always ask where’s he been
She tells them it’s not for her to say
If he calls she’ll talk about it but not before then

She’s not a lady in wait
That’s not the way she lives
But the moon said I’m also sad
I know you are too

It’s a matter of knowing
What seems only sadness can comprehend
That a smile is all that can part tears as they fall
Like rocks in a mountain stream riverbed
Swiftly steering the wash along its way
As only a stubborn will to live can
The only voice that matters, the oceans call
Not despair, but happiness instead
No matter how distant
Through faith that can apprehend
The belief, not in sorrow
But in where shells are floating
No longer living for the shores reach
Instead, embarking upon new lands
Gazing at the revealing stars
Whose glow reflects not tears of pain
But the way a smile learns to swim
In unfeeling headwaters
Where only the strong know how to mend

It's time to follow my smile
It’s been trying to talk to me
But I wouldn’t listen
I’m not selling fantasy
I’m not buying love
All I need is what I’ve been missin’

It's time to follow your smile
It’s been trying to talk to you
But you wouldn’t listen
You’re not one night
You’re a lifetime
All you need is what you’ve been given’

We don’t know why we smile
It’s better not to ask
What angels say about us
Are the rumors God must unmask

It's time to follow our smiles
They’ve been trying to talk to us
But we wouldn’t listen
We’re not going to regret
We’re not going to forget
All we need is to start livin’

We don’t know why we smile
It’s better not to ask
What God wants from us
Is the only thing that will last

When we are together
We strip down to the bone
When we are apart
I never think I’m alone
It’s the way we live
Taking chances
With love
With loss
If it happens
If it doesn’t
We don’t seem to care
But we do

We have all the time we need
We will live forever
Young at heart
Hearing songs that never fade
That’s how we keep the sun from setting
Listening to a song that never ends
Still the highway seems empty tonight
While my bones ache inside

So many times I play with fate
I believe in it too much
Nobody knocks on the door
You have to buy a ticket
If you’re going to win a prize

Then you said why didn’t you call me
How can I know what’s right
I love you so much when you’re gone
But now you’re here
All we have are questions
I don’t know my love
We have the nerve to bruise our bones
But not to share our hearts

I cannot build a pyramid
I cannot imagine how
Except to dig a hole
But I’m already in one
So why dig another?

I’ve never wanted to run away
Especially without love by my side
But I cannot believe what I hear anymore
Lying is the new morality
I thought of it
But I know what is true when it comes to you

I can tell how hard you are trying to forget me
But you can’t if it has become your life
I know everything about you
At least what you decided to show me
Again you brought me to the brink
So close without admitting it
Was it to tell me what I could not have
Or was it to find out something you did not know

Yes I can
Yes I can
Yes I can
Whatever it was that you asked
Even though I really didn’t know
Yes I can
And I did

We swam together
Our bodies were submerged
Our faces like swans
It was as if we knew one another
The beauty was a reminder
But the way you swam away was too

The temptation of you is greater than ever
But so is the will that I have to live my life
You made me wait as I did you
In a game of getting even
We only fooled each other
But we knew that already
Because true love is that way

i saw a light skipping across a deep blue sea
It’s the same as the one i saw in the desert sands
where many distant dreams pilgrim all my pleas
reflections change but we don’t know how it works
transparent or not we hold the truth in our hands
the storm I see now is where your dark side lurks

you came on like the weather nobody can project
wave after wave shallow and deep at once they came
i grabbed the mast when I realized you were a wreck
was it solid ground waiting or a wooden ship floating
you could say it’s neither or either but it feels the same
the stress of the deciding is like sand and wind blowing

i stopped thinking about double pain windows and prayers
an open heart is an island where hurricanes refuse to atone
remorseless broken glass dips into the blood of my nightmares
every faded scar begs for loneliness to finally accept its fate
but nothing built upon these shores was made to walk alone
and i will believe once again in a reflection of love and not hate

What would you say
To a tree where it lay
To roots too exhausted to feed
Like a snake
Upon the tail of its own seed
Fasting in this very moment
When shadows are spurned
And the rivers beneath it
Boiled by the torment
Of leaves one by one burned
By the fire your wounded heart lit
What would you say?
I will never know
For who can hear their own wake?
I am ash
And you now the wind
Upon which only sorrow may blow
Like smoke that forgot to pray
Losing its only friend
In the blink of an eyelash
A life, once a forest
Now scarred by an erstwhile promise

you said
if they didn’t like the color of your skin
the color that white people
burn for on a beach
the color braided
by the moon and the night
the color where
gardens make their home
the color eyes see
when shut for a dream
you said that
and yet they do not know what they do
even as they try
to wear the color the same as you

Asking the wind to slow down
These flames need not be fanned any further
Learning how to dream alone
Is not something I ever wanted to remember

War makes bones out of kindness
Love makes gravel out of memories between us
How far will this road stretch before me
I only know it will never be like it was

Someone said they were happy for me
How do you feel that way with what you carry
All the sweat to build walls for safety
Turned to blood as I climbed over for sanity

The doubts of a lifetime changed shape
Swimming in a moat meant to keep them out
I could only press wet hair against my skull
As I walked towards a trail I knew nothing about

At the bottom of the hat I never wore
Was a message of patience for the time I’ve waited
It’s what they say time is everyone’s gift
If that were true the past wouldn’t feel so wasted

Right here with you is something I hope to say
Whether from burnt out rooftops or a green tree
Inside of life each day cannot be felt by unhappiness
If broken smiles knew healing was as easy as being free

I never dreamed about living without you
But waking up, I am now
Things I never believed have come true
And I don't know how

Thinking anymore about darker shades of blue
Maybe yesterday, but not now
I'm gonna have to change my point of view
It's just a matter of how

Life is not only who will be someone new
Tomorrow is the same as now
Taking it slow, somebody else is doing it too
But meeting her, I wonder how

I know this is a lost world
It’s not so hard to see
So many people are crying
Waiting for a parting sea

The path I chose is clear
No brush or signs to read
It’s not always easy
Still I have all I need

It took too long
Too long for peace
The war never ends
The fire will never cease
Except the one you light yourself

There’s no conflict in my heart
What’s right hides from no one
But those who climb trees to lie
Are burned even by a setting sun

It’s not that the path is lonely
I walk in the middle like a parade
I can hear every whispered temptation
But my mind has already been made

It took too long
Too long for peace
The war never ends
The fire will never cease
Unless you put it out yourself

I’m standing right in front of you
No matter your anger or opinion
Mine is as strong as yours
You can tell me how you feel
But if it doesn’t make any sense
I won’t agree no matter the cost

You can be a mother or a lover
I can be a father and just another
No matter I’m not going away
You think you love them more
That’s because you don’t understand
But someone new, I know she will

Hey lady, can I still call you that?
I once poured my heart out to you
But now it’s time for hate to die
Everything is in God’s hands
I’m ready for his judgment
But today I can live again

There is nothing I have not felt
The last strand of guilt is a silent killer
I do not owe more than I have paid
The only person that knew what I felt
Was the shadow I created on my own
Until sunset, then in darkness I forget

I said, “I will make my own way”
Across the stolid path’s worn pages
Where the flakes of my burned skin
Spurned the fire that laid them to dry
I tried to find the distance safely away
From the anguish of false sages
Who by their own actions weaken
Their beliefs without knowing why

As sure as the sea, an eternal voice
Must you erode the sand of my choice
The shores that line the hearts edge
Are all that is left of loves pledge
Your fears of your own mortality
Destroyed the life we held dearly

i could walk the way across the wire
and tell you I understand
but we both know I really don't, so
i will instead be myself;
there is no greater feat for a human
than to overcome himself
to tell his own kind they are wrong
and not pretend he is good;
the fear of heights is the fear of truth;
to say you cannot look down
but that you will watch while they do,
does not comfort them;
what is right except to be human,
to treat you the same
if you are wrong or if you are right;
the words I choose
will be the ones i speak to a man;
no tears no pity,
only the words that my soul believes,
so you know what I know
that my feet are too small for my shoes,
the ones God gave me;
and how many pairs must I try today
until i can wear yours;
can I instead never be a loud goodbye
and speak only soft hellos
can i instead never pretend to know,
except that i do my friend;
i do even though my dreams do not,
life for them goes on;
the tears that flood my nights are truth;
i know they are only for me
for that is the reality of the oppression
and of the protest;
they know you have too much to lose
until you no longer do,
but will your children understand why
cost is greater than comfort,
that childhood is still a dream away;
but they will soon know
that those who came before them
gave them more than life;
they gave them a cross of deliverance
for heaven is still the same

It’s not coming from my eyes
It’s better for the rain to slay
The feelings that dare to swim
To keep them with me always
Not so they can begin again
But to color the things I say
Because it’s my life
And I’m not going to run away

I would wait a thousand nights
Just so you can believe, but you know
Even the sea takes back every wave
The distance is in how we grieve
It’s safer under dark skies
Than inside a dark cave
Lost in a world someone created
It’s better never to enter, only leave

I know what want from me
Looking glass eyes that understand
While my breath is the moon tide
Pushing my hands around your waist
The smile that you summon
Would leave that dark place
And by the morning of the day you see
The dark walls became light by your hand

I still love you, like the things I’ve seen
inside a painted memory,
for the brush was my own
I walked next to the shore, as I laid by your side;
it was the same sensation,
the roaring colors of sound
on an empty beach; because what we gathered
came to rest against our ears
with the smiles of our world
lodged into my mind, though you were gone,
but not what I recalled;
you had to be yourself,
and that was the promise I made to you

i wonder if you are joy
entering my arm
or a needle
reminding me of the pain
the inside of a pill
ready to melt into my body
or the way I choke
as it clutches my throat
the smoke is the mist
you are walking towards me
or is it how I cough
knowing it cannot last
i want you deep, inside
the only way to my heart
it’s not laughter or a smile
it has to be that way
a drug that will **** us one day

I want to give you flowers
Red lilies from the window atop a windmill
Where your fantasies are made real
If only you would go there with me
The vase though is not what I want
I want the moment in your eyes
The instant when you believe in me

And there they are
Alone by the window, longing for Holland
Is it possible that you have forgotten
It is hard to live life as a movie
To know that this really means that
But  flowers in a darkened room know
They knew because the water was cold

I want to live my life with yours
I would sleep in the other room, a year or more
Flowers have nothing in common with obligation
But only what you believe is what matters
The rest of my life is open
The soil awaits the seeds you hold in your hand
I thought the flowers might remind you

From The Streets

We once feared the survival of civilization
Now it is the survival of culture
The assurance of mutual destruction
Madness
A godless government
Wary of one in him do they trust
The posture of destruction
To agree on a way not to strike first
And to believe in the rational man
The desire to live
The belief in the future of their people

On earth

Order them in
That is the order
That is what must be done
But can it be done
Who can do it
Someone must advise
Someone must decide
The gulf separating advice and decision
Is the gulf separating man from heaven
God or no God
It is mankind who must order them in
And it is mankind that must die

Man killed God
God is eternal
Man invented God
God is incorporeal

The voice of our adversary is subdued
Almost sad
It is so that he wants to live too
He is not a mad man
Only living as all men live
Within the desire to care for their  world
A home
A neighborhood
A town
A city
A state
A nation
It is all the same if all is at risk

But it is no longer at risk

The fatalism of heaven controls our minds
But it is not more powerful than human weakness
And the need to be loved by God is our  weakness
We must prove ourselves worthy
And it is our precise belief that is most holy
Not because God told us
But because we believe it
And if we are wrong
Then we are nothing
Not us
Or our people

It is now man versus man
Our God versus their God
Our culture versus their culture
Our law versus their past
It is our history that we sustain
We walk its streets
And remember the words of our parents
The must mean something
How can they not
We are their blood
The blood of our nature
The blood of our God
OUR GOD
The one to which we pray
The one who gives us strength
The one who tells us we are worthy
Yes
We will be saved
For we are saving him
Saving him from lies
Saving ourselves from our lies
For it was written by us
And we must believe those who died for them

And those who died at the hand of them
For everyone who died

Just to cross a bridge
Or to believe as they want

It is personal now
We have allowed life to become greater than we are
Now we are taking it back
Vengeance is ours
To each of us is the power to accuse
The power to ****
The power to teach our children

What will we say first?

Heed me well
Don’t clear my name
I’m the feather that fell
I’m the one to blame

Don’t ask me why
Or about the weather
How would I know
I’m just a falling feather

It’s taken a long time for this moment
I’m about to know what it means to arrive
I’d rather it fly on with the rest of them
My past doesn’t need me to survive

How much do you need to know?
I’ve already found comfort in the pillow of the wind

My past doesn’t need me to live on
As I fall through the rain
And the sun
I can take it as it comes
Anything that happens
It’s already been considered
When you’re falling
You know somewhere you’re gonna’ land

I thought I was a bird
But I know I’m not that now
Flying or falling, what’s the difference?
Either way, only a feather knows how

don't yell at a dry river bed
because it didn't rain
don't yell at a cactus
because it's not a garden
don't yell at a thorn
because you picked a rose
don't yell at someone
because of your opinion

I live in my own mind,
but it is open for you to travel
My opinions play by one rule,
the truth of the matter
If I don't know
then I will have no opinion until I know
My voice relies upon temperance,
but first I will pause
What I believe is personal,
I hope my actions are enough
I value your freedom and mine,
coexistence
All I know is who I love
and they will know it too
What I advise is balance
and empathy
If you wish to change me,
I'm not for you
If you have a life,
I can respect you
If you understand me,
I could love you
To live alone is not rejection,
only discovery
To live together is about the soul,
will it survive?

I know the feeling of uneasiness for the first
time; for the world has arrived at our door,
the fortress is no more; I am growing up as
I know each day is now where fear comes to
feed upon our lives; and yet it is still a prayer
that is the thin line between a long life and
one that is the horror of tomorrows news;
it’s them, always them, people who aren’t
real; but they are; they are as real as my own
thoughts and dreams; but I do not know where
the thoughts behind my eyes live or where
they go when I am asleep

For those walking to the far corners of freedom,
where the shadow begins as the sun falls upon
our lives and so too the rainbow when the rain
finally yields to mercy upon those washed upon
the shores of injustice, dreaming their souls may
one day know peace, the strain upon the inelastic
thread of an pretended peace is applied so that
all who believe in its fabric may know how easily
it will unravel with the slightest tug as it was laid
beneath our feet so long ago with forgotten
intentions but now buried under the dust of
unrelenting indifference

Is the outrage of our life over death or respect;
is life so cheap that words and icons are favored
over what happens on our streets; can a man be
so numb that he believes those who perish must
somehow deserve the fate that came to know
them so intimately; the fatalistic view of life is
that God’s will explains everything, yet is it so
simple that evil triumphs over good at the hand
of the moment God looked away or does he
passively observe to see if we choose to beg for
his mercy or curse his name?

Our swords have been drawn; heaven has struck
once again, dividing brother against brother while
the secular army marches forward, likewise as
unmindful to love as they are determined to
****** their gilded steely ideals home in the name
of the mother who bore them as the blood
splatters upon a poor woman begging for food
while her child feeds upon hopeless *******;
neither of whom cares to provide milk for the God
who allows good and evil or those who built the
bridge between two nations casting blame upon
each other

Is there no common purpose no matter our
conviction of creation; must a declaration of
belief in the God of Abraham followed by a
declaration that he rose from the dead or
rose while alive or did not rise at all or is it
that a declaration that no supposed God is
necessary to reign supreme over men trying
to live their lives without dying while silence
continues to disintegrate the love all men
carry for anyone other than their children;
is this the choice, God or no God; this God
or that; this messiah or that; this word or
that; but love is neither this or that, rather it
is that which is this which is that I feel when
I see my love tell me that I am neither this or
that but instead that I am that I am

Excuse me while I think this through
It won't change the world
It won't change mine
It won't make me love you more
It won't make me love you less

It's just that it's important how I think
It's important to know what I believe
And if I can't take the time to think
I won't have the time to think about you
It's the time of my life that I must confess

I began with the time I was child in the South
Then in a dream I spoke Arabic with Rambam
What is the difference between describing God
And asking for your rights as a human being
Once I know I will know if my life is blessed

But you wonder why I can't include you always
It is so hard to make you believe in silence
It is easy to share but only if we know it will end
The balance between devotion and discovery
Is to know what is love and what are regrets

I want to wash your hair with the night air
Soft light that does not burn
You can close your eyes again
My fingers are stars massaging the moon

I want to bathe your skin with light of day
Hot light to soften your pain
You can lay your head next to me
My fingers are reflections of a warm tide

I want to cool your pores with the forest air
A soft breeze rippling beads of sweat
You can watch the leaves fall all around
My fingers are trees dropping them on you

I want my heart to feel the love of yours
A whisper that only I can hear
You can let your blood mix with mine
My fingers will draw pictures with our color

I think I'm too strong for my own good
I don't like thinking I can't be hurt
It's written all over my face
Maybe I'm just waitin' to be
Cut down to size

The forest doesn't care who walks
That's how my life seems to be
I can't decide how to act
Your dress causes too much confusion
It's cuttin' me down to size

That's what I need
I need some kind of desperation
It's too easy not to care
Living that way is a lonely situation

I think I forgot how to blow your mind
There was a time when it was easy
Being young is the thrill of the chase
Now I think I'm above all that
Please, cut me down to size

That's what I need
Some kind of inspiration
It's not easy when you've been there
Living that way is life without a destination

Yes I love you baby
But it seems like nothin' is gettin’ through
I can tell you don’t believe in me
That other man did a number on you

It’s gonna’ take a long time baby
To prove what I’m telling you today
Just try to sleep not thinking of him
In the morning you’ll see I’m here to stay

I know it’s not what I say
But I’m here to stay
I wouldn’t go that far
Just to lose my way
I’m here to stay
I’m here to stay

I was thinking
Maybe you’d be happy the day I die
Then you would know
That what I said today was not a lie

I know we’re older now
There’s not much time will allow
Our hearts almost forgot how
But I’m ready for one more vow
If only you’ll believe in me

You can’t decide
Is it living together or always knowing
But it’s watching the sunset with a smile
Because inside its always glowing

I know it’s not what I say
But I’m here to stay
I wouldn’t go that far
Just to lose my way
I’m here to stay
I’m here to stay

You know me so well
And you know the love we planted in the ground
Still you wear pretty dresses
Like colorful leaves reflecting the eyes that watch
And you do it when I’m not around

You remember me
And you laughed and said you missed that about us
Still you won’t open up
Like a day that would rather it still be the night before
The sun thinks of things you won’t discuss

Understand
I’m just a waiting man
Waiting for you to find someone else
Better than I am
I hope you can
So I won’t be a waiting man
Until you remember
I’m not the reason you ran

We knew how
How to be in love as if it we’d done it before
Still you question me
Like asking a blue sky to come down for a moment
To see if it would rather be paint on your door

Understand
I’m just a waiting man
Waiting for you to find someone else
Better than I am
I hope you can
So I won’t be a waiting man
Until you remember
I’m the shadow on your hand

How many people actually live their own lives,
waiting to buy or receive a ring;
dreaming of making enough money
to take pictures of somewhere else
I really wonder
if you’re living your life or mine?

I wanted to wave a microphone all around,
but I don’t know how to sing
Never mind all that anyway
There’s enough in my heart
to really wonder
am I deep enough to make you listen?

This town once meant something,
but hope never takes wing
I found it walking alone,
hoping for a cigarette
He made me wonder,
why don’t we go to church on a corner?

I think I’ve told you everything
Are my scars so bad?
You had a better day than I
So what I say to that
Why would you wonder
if yesterday or today mean anything tomorrow?

There was a time
Way back when
My life was about every song
I knew what it meant
At least I did back then
When I hear them today
It reminds me again
Of a place I once belonged
And how you were my friend

Now I can only remember
How it used to be
Were the years really so long?
Nobody told me how to be content
I lived the way a dreamer is free
That’s what my memory told me to say
He left her for the shade of another tree
A new garden, an old one gone wrong  
You asked, “Would you ever do that to me?”

I thought about it
Expecting they could hear
But the crowd didn’t know that song
It seems so much has been spent
There’s nothing left to fear
Not when you’ve lived life my way
It’s only the path of a tear
Leading to a place only for the strong
That’s how I live when you’re not here

I only feel pieces of how I can love a woman
They are walking around, inside of them
In different places, trying to grow
Far away seeds, a garden waiting to begin

I know it’s not right
There is supposed to be only one
But how can I choose between seasons
Oceans, mountains or a setting sun?

I know why it feels that way
My life is a tourist inside of theirs
I only want what is good
But I don’t know if it’s my prison or yours

Are you a day or a moment?
Can we gather them all up my love
We have to put every promise in one hand
I want to hold the one you’re thinking of

Riding on a tank

I saw a dream walking on the sand
Or it could have been a hedgerow road
Wearing a hijab or a Sunday dress
Or a naked body covered in screams
The images laced with the faces,
Of the waiting ones, who for them,
Life is about nature walks
And laughing with their children
But now they only know shock
Nobody told them how to cope
With bombs
And the dreams of despots

I saw them
Their blank faces unable to reach me
Was I their savior
Or the reality of true power
I love my family
They believed in me
But to a stranger, I am a machine
A soldier ready to die
But it wasn’t that way
It’s not that simple
I don’t want to die
And yes, I am afraid

Yes, they do
The memory of a sacred ceremony
Do you have one?
They do
The defeated ones
They have a God
They have blood planted where you stand
You cannot erase a memory
Unless you **** a man
And his family
All of them
Then you can pretend it didn’t happen

We were sent with visions of glory
It is the way of war
But we cannot imagine it
For glory does not provide details
Only parades and salutes
And tears
It does not speak of panic
Of equipment failure
Of battle fatigue
Of another man willing to die for his God
Or his Fuhrer
You didn’t read it in the manual

Void and formless
Light
Oceans
Continents
Life
Vanity
Race
Predominance
Op­pression
Death
Did he set it in motion
Or is he trying to turn it around?

I don’t want to die
But I am about to lose everything I have
My life now is like crossing a freeway
It can be done
You just have to know how to do it
Or just be lucky
Am I wearing the right clothes?
The women are dressed for their God
The Sunday dress
The hijab
They were ready
Except the screams of burning flesh is not a dress

I lost a fight once in school
Now I'm an assassin
A dangerous man
That’s all I need to think about
Killing another man
And I can **** another man
With a gun
Or a knife
They are supposed to fear me
They need to fear me
But I am afraid of myself
Violence is all that matters now
That’s what everyone wants

I walked out on the field
The  crowd was cheering for me
Then my eyes met those of a kneeling man
A brave man playing a violent sport
I nodded to him
But he didn’t stand up
He watched me honored for surviving
For surviving something greater than myself
Right or wrong
And he knew that people hated him
They hated him for not honoring me
But I wasn’t angry
I could only think about those women

The inks been dry a long time
The story has already been written
Moving on was a matter of survival
But my heart is about to bleed again

Don’t pretend you love me now
There’s too much I can’t forget
You used to wipe your feet on me
Now my muddy heart is your regret

I need to clean my heart
I need to make it pure again
I don’t want someone new
To think I can’t love a woman
Clean my heart
Clean my heart
Please clean my heart
So there’s no traces left of you

I feel ***** on the inside
Like I can’t let nobody in
It’s how you treated me
I let it get under my skin

We’re going to say goodbye one more time
I’m going to have to think of the past
But then when the day is through
I will make a new memory better than the last

I need to clean my heart
I need to make it pure again
I don’t want someone new
To think I can’t love a woman
Clean my heart
Clean my heart
Please clean my heart
So there’s no traces left of you