the words are crisp in my mouth
but by the time they hit the door
they are stale as my hand
they are gone like wisps of smoke
their scent decorates the room
and brings a parade of memories
feasts with laughing friends
and a long footpath with her blue dress
it makes my sunshine weary
and drives clouds into my souls parklands
she is one such long misbegotten memory
she was a true love of mine
she is gone like a wisp
of smoke on a beach
she....

she makes my time pass slow
and leaves me wanting to repaint
the moons difficult changing colors
as it waxes and wanes thru the seasons
like her deep eyes
but she mends with love
and she nourishes with compassion
and she makes cut out stars and comets
that we pin to the ceiling
she makes breakfast
we eat it  laying in a open field
listening to the fall wind rustle the trees

i master this lame beast
and contrive to march it slowly through the night
while it seized and sputtered
to the edge of light
the edge of forgiveness
there i lay down
but the world has no further use for a broken old man
potions and notions antiquated
she with a woman's gentleness
gathers up what remains of me
chiding me softly for having wandered astray
knitting the pieces parts to semblance
she admits beyond mere frowns
her reasons for being here
that my words reach her
that my soul enraptures her
my humor embraces her
and unlike many others she has known
my heart hears her every word
and thirsts to know her mind

love affairs are more than in a bedroom
they are in the heart and mind
i will have my lover and know her
because everything about her matters to me

she tread around me with
such mock care
with a stifled grin she asked if i was sure
with a teasing voice she narrowed her eyes
and looked as deep as she dare
perfumed and adorned but as alluring as
her spanish leather truth
so like a fool i made sure much to her delight
for
dance on the head of a red hot pin
dance on the heart of darkness with a devilish grin
the empty promise of her touch is as good as sin
for
she wears the apparel of luxuriant garden
but delinquent her self esteem like rose petals
fall scented to the illusionary waters of her dry as bone desert heart
she entices me with beckoning gestures
in this wilderness of heat
in this place of madness
for
as i lay now alone in her aftermath
i dream a dream of her that will be mine alone
long after the candles have died
i forgive myself
as i think would she
and live now to dream my dream
live now
for

heritage of her long preamble *******
the quick note stencilled on sticky note
seemed not only incomplete but irrational
'plead not the day to the jury of night
its light deceives the dark into seeking
solace for its own death'
her heritage thought troubles the waves
sending its silent after effects spreading across the
waters to which we fled for safe harbour in evening's birth
we swim to shore
and explore nothing but sand on beachhead
and eachothers fumbling in near perfect dark
before dawn could streak the sky
with the golden lances of the sun
as day wrestles the sky from night
contending with eachother
revealing to our new born eyes
the fanfare that light gives the day
she stood on this stage
and did pronounce loudly
entreat the light to forsake the day
join the night
as she and i had
as lovers
then the golden lances of dawn
would be the stems of roses
from one lover to the other

the dawn exploded with a roll of thunder
and her frightened face is all i saw in the flash of lightening
i reached out to her with my voice
trying to reassure but it sounded hollow
as the tread of armed men became apparent
in the fog to the east
i grabbed up her and our meager provisions and we fled
deep into the forest
where we came to the cabin of the hideous man
we knew he would shelter us from any storm blowin'
long as we could provide news of the wider world

so long into the night as she cooked
i regaled him with tales both real and invented of the
glory's and and great defeats
as i treated his wounds and gave him advices to mend
morning found a strange tale of its own
standing on the porch with a hawking gun in hand
he was a man of the far west
he had come from the dry dust
he had come from the bitter cold
and now he lay his burdens on the hideous mans doorstep

he had come looking for a crew to take with
to the high mountain pass
there in the wicked snows lay a treasure
there in the harsh night lay a tomb
the hideous man pointed to me and said
here is a young man with a strong back
and not a prayer to be had for love nor money
take him and the woman too

so we set off into the cursed darkness seeking
as all men must a better life in the promise of jems and jewels
she followed me or the stranger i could no longer tell
she was no stranger to leavings
and she would leave me high and dry at the drop of a thousand hats
she was no angel
i was no saint

we made our way to the high mountains
and there labored for many days and months
from that spring
till near christmas day
without nearing our treasures
fell to fighting with one another
over every spilled crumb
over every mislaid word

no better and now bitter she left us both there
in the cold of the midnight sun
for the face of some young jim
and his riverboat card games

i finally surrendered too
to the clear thought that we had been had
there was no treasure to be found
so i stole his hawking gun and made for the river trying
to find my wayward girl
but fell in with dark men who
wanted price for the riverboat ride
the kinda coin the hawking gun could fetch
so they murdered me in my sleep
and i slipped to the tomb without a name or a grubstake

now lay me up in the dark waters
now sing me a summer meadow
by the riverside
buried there a poorboys grave of a single wood board
carved with the words
that riches are a fools game
if you have come seeking treasures
seek thee elsewhere cause this boy died here without a penny

my hand drawn to the pen and the pen to page
like the need to breath
like the need to struggle to better my lot in life
i am drawn to the desire to speak with this ink on page
it fills my dreams with visions and
leaves me with burning desires
to lend my hand to the struggle against the darkness rising
its pushes and pulls upon my soul
as it wrestles these words from my heart
and strikes them upon the page
like hammer striking stone

and the fire of these words consumes me
with the stretching and longings
with the need to speak what they say and
to find  any ear to listen

like a bargain with the devil himself
i cannot set the task aside
cannot leave the words unspoken
like addictions it would leave me starving
and un-mourned in the dark gutter
so its face see the light of day
so its truth both beautiful and bitter not be known

listen you now to these things
know that its no passing whim
know that its the death of me
with my devoted love to the last letter
for this thing is a dark beauty
it will repay your devotion tenfold
with joy or pain
and thats the bargain i made with
the devils of the dictionary
with the disciples of ink

she worries the hem of her white cotton dress
in her delicate hand
while her other hand nestled softly in mine
she looks up to my eyes
and smiles
as she gathers me up
to the hay in the barnyard
where she lay with me
and indulges me of her delights
we lay in the cool air
and she is curled up in my arms singing to me softly
the summer birds dance in the open sky
the summer afternoon sun glows golden in her eyes
she looks up into  my eyes
and without a word need to be said
and in my heart
the sunlight is devoted to her face
a worshipper of the only real beauty in the world
it caresses her delicate features
and paints my perception of her
she is a masterpiece of love
paints my vision of her
her vibrant laughter and smiles run
round in my heart
making themselves a home in my heart
and making my heart feel at home
she worries the hem of her white cotton dress
i lean in and kiss her lips
with the heartfelt adoration
of every ounce of my soul

the pause in his lips gives her
opportunity to place her own point of view on
the cold still air
pencil in her mindset before he can resume
she glosses over the facts and
rushes headlong into the tantrum
but it is cooled by the time passed and
she can no longer sustain it
bland face
and dulled kiss
its shouting in her heart has ceased
now woven into the fabric of their relationship
she must live with it rearing its head
from time to time
its ugly features a sinister mocking
of her feelings
and that brings tears
she doesn't want to cry
that's too girly
she comforts herself once more wrapped in his arms
and with the concepts of her plans
wedding careerer children future
he stands with his arms round her nuzzling form
and stares out the window
into the depths of the world
but sees only the inevitable approaching
the certainty of its arrival is not cloaked to him
as it is to her
without even thinking he calculates the meanings
and gauges the cost
he only winces inwardly
at her murmurings of reassurance
better that this beast of romance
has departed with the tides
better that the arguments tear this
summer fling apart than face
the barren fruitless seed

if you were here
would you see me the same as you see me in my words
would your lovely soft lips recite with such
feeling the words you say
if you were here at my side
the crisp sun reveals more than just
picturesque lake and the perfections of paradise
how would you see me if you were
as naked before me as i am to you now
i am crying inside a river of hurt that seems to have no end
how would you see me if you were here by my side
i would see you as beauties soft hand
come to ease and hand to hold
this river is a teasing of darkness
come to shadow my door
it will pass
will you still be here with you soft words
how would you see me
if you stood before me with none of the words to obscure

she was
a glutton's for a sadness feast
so i spun her a tale from my years ago
the wooden toy boat
ice bound in the stone fountain's water
trapped in its flight across its own vast sea
the sound of her sailors wrestling the seas
and her captain forever standing lone watch over his beloved craft
all there in absolute detail
the wooden toy boat

the statues of cherubs in perpetual dance look down
on this stranded voyager
from their grey unwashed stone tower
their stone fingers clutching at the hem
of some goddess of the ancient world
as if to plead for some favour of her attentions
for her to free this voyager and give her kind winds
but in this barren winterscape
nothing is without its semblance of shade
and the cherubs were a dangerous jealousy
their childlike eyes forever longing to be grown
forever longing to be free of such cold stone pantomime of life

barren trees are blackened and forlorn against
the frame of a slate grey sky
a few flurry's of snow scatter and dance on descent into
the absolution of their frailty in the eyes of the wakened dreamers
that all such frail things like the promise of dreams
slowly fades with the dreamers tears

the wooden toy boat
carries with it still the images of its makers dream
its proud sail unfurled
and its standard flowing in the crisp breezes
but the child who abandon it here
lay in his room miles distant in mind from
this cast aside toy
dreaming his own dreams of
building great towers from which he
could look down upon the world

the wooden toy boat
its forever seeking of a fabled port
its forever wishing for its safe harbour
i dream of this moment thoughtful of its strange fate
am i the boy moved on to create ever greater towers in the sun
or the toy locked forever in a yesterday's dreamers eye

others say there are no more pages
in our romance novel
but we just keep writing beautiful songs of the heart for each other
endings and beginnings
places others don't dare go

to get lost in each others gaze
as the sun and moon walk over the sky holding hands
we keep dancing in the ballroom long after the music stopped
while the night fades away
cause your heartbeat is all i hear

to dance moonlights glow wrapped your arms
cause you make me crazy with dreamy eyed memories
to live moonlights dream wrapped in your eyes
all the nights mysteries to show themselves to me
to be found only by you at long last

so we can run fast and laughing in the fall leaves
so we can breath quick in lovers embrace
wrapped in each others heartstrings
cause you are my song
and im ready to sing

looking for forgiveness in the eyes of strangers
in every train station on the hudson line
breathing the beauty of the rush and hustle
of every train in the pouring rain
scribbling heartfelt worthy lines in a dogeared notebook
with her name etched with loving care into the
weatherbeaten cover

while standing at the top of the stairs
the faces shuffle past
offering absolution to the pawns
offering escapism to the bishops of twisted truths
gaze down the halls of forgiveness
looking for a familiar face to unleash your hearts burdens
to unwrap the tear stained words for
hoping like hell its somebody who could tell her
that you weren't so bad after all
if she only see her way to giving you that
holy grail of the heart known as a second chance

but in the end you catch a glimpse of your
reflection in some woman's poem
makes you look and see the state your in
see how far you have fallen
how far you've run from the light of day
carrying the weighty truths close to the heart
but never looking them in the eye
live again my friend
forgive yourself and live once again

natural light falls with
such beauty through the autumn leaves
sets the heart ablaze with reminiscence and wishes
the day filled with brilliant color and life
makes my heart as carefree and light as joy itself
the crisp air with its winters foretaste
the autumn afternoon gives me wanderlust
my thoughts beautiful with your presence on my mind
if i could only live my life within these moments
so my heart dances with warm visions
of our precious time together

in the full richness of time
with my hand in yours
with my heart in yours
you will see
the truth of loves knowin
you will see the beautiful truth of our lives joined
breathing as one
being one
lovers
kiss me
give yourself to me
you will see