he kissed me everywhere
and I wanted to cry
but I didn't say a word
because girls don't talk
and boys are just fine
I left my heart
there on his pillow
and pretended I am used to
having love that is normal
normal and fine

all my heroes
became stereotypes
and littered the streets
with decrepit versions of
honesty and fame
I tried to pick up
all their pieces and
put them back together
but the shards of people
cut deep
and I didn't want to bleed
like that
they shall remain
nameless, now,
I don't want to disrupt
anyone's final parade
charade
we all died
in the end
anyway

I miss that feeling
of when I had the power
to stir the ***
and change the tides
a single word could carry
so very far from me
and I could elect myself
most valuable liar
I love you
or at least I want to
don't give up on it
pick up your bags
you're not leaving
but now
I'm here,
in an empty, sad and little room
and I know there is not one
I can call
or with a click of a button
tell I want back
it's been far too long
I've distanced
I am distant

I'm thinking I'm thinking I'm thinking
so softly
in the back of my mind
so you won't hear
how do I memorialize
those 2 boys
who sat in the shop
and pumped gas by the road
near our highway
until your ex boyfriend
came in and shot them in 2
I'm thinking I'm stopping
being in touch with this kind of
reality
altogether

I want to kiss you
everything is focused
all it is
is sun
and you
you're talking about everything
you always do
can you handle yourself?
this sunset
I'm laughing
I'm smiling toward you
I want to kiss you
you tell me
**** makes you high
alcohol makes you *****
I wish we had drank
I just want you

you were so different
when I loved you
or at least I thought you were
were you?
gosh, this mind
what a funny thing

I want to go on a Ferris wheel
big and tall
and feed you to my feelings
kiss you because there is moonlight
I'm moonlight,
neon and sunny
I like to dangle my feet
and I'm not afraid
if I get to look at you
and we get to look up
I want to go on a Ferris wheel
but only with you